MAYkin' It Sober

[WineWrangler]

MAYkin' It Sober

A big congratulations Drifty for a huge accomplishment. Mama Bear, sorry to here you went to the dark side, it took me numerous times before I finally decided "enough is enough" hopefully you have come to that point, you were doing so well? The desire to drink rarely crosses my mind anymore, if it does I just think about that hangover from hell new years day.

Take Care WW

[allswell]

MAYkin' It Sober

Hey MB, back on track today right? We've all been there that's for sure. I'd do it, realize I had everything to lose and nothing to gain, then do it again and hate myself for it. The process was so shitty I'd start fast forwarding to the worst parts of it when I'd get tempted and it usually was enough to say "no thanks" but that was only after a lot of time and effort. Sobriety is definitely a process not an event
Have a great day everyone!

[mylife]

MAYkin' It Sober

Hello MAYkers. I've been back this week trying frantically to catch up at work etc. but I've been thinking of you all. Congratulations Drifty! What an awesme accomplishment.

Well I have good news and bad news to report from my vacation. I lasted until the last few days of it without drinking and I felt great. I went to the gym, I was bright eyed when others were hungover and I was full of energy etc. BUT - I don't know - I guess I just had that last thought of "why can't I just have a few on my vacation" in the back of my mind and I drank the last few days.

The good news about it is I think I finally realized there is NOTHING I like about drinking anymore! It didn't feel good, it didn't taste good, I basically went into a brain fog and woke up the next day with my heart racing and hungover. It sounds crazy since I'm telling you I broke down yet again and drank, but I think I'm finally really done with drinking. There was not one thing I enjoyed about the experience and I had the first part of my vacation sober to compare it with - and that was so much better.

The last few days that I drank by comparison were not fun. I felt listless, and robbed of my energy, I was "cranky" to put it mildly LOL and I just did not have the same experience I did while sober. I thought a lot about the rest of my life and how I want to live it. And it definintely does not include drinking.

Everyone here sounds like you're doing so well. It's great to read all your wonderful posts.

[FlyAway]

MAYkin' It Sober

Hey Mylife, I get what you're saying. This time is different for me too. I just felt it in my soul. I'm done and that's that. No what ifs, no romanticizing the booze. The desire left and I'm left with me. And I couldn't be happier. For the first time in my life I am enough.

[K9Lover]

MAYkin' It Sober

Hey Drifty, I think your "orneryness" has probably helped you get to a whole year AF! You keep it up and stay ornery! LOL

Mylife - I hear ya sister. Your description of your last drinking episode could have been mine (except I did it at home, alone, which makes it seem even more pathetic). I forced down beer after beer, they tasted like arse, I never really got a "buzz"...I went straight to drunk and beligerent. So the "fun" part was completely missing. I knew that was my last foray into drinking. Alcohol is not fun for me anymore. Time to accept it and move on!

Fly - You sound good. No more romanticizing booze for either of us, K?

Mama - I really hope you are feeling better today. Please take care of yourself and rest up. Let us know...we care about you!

K9

[allswell]

MAYkin' It Sober

Hey MyLife, good to hear from you again. I'm glad the drinking experience brought clarity and not a slide back to a dark place, isn't it a really great feeling of freedom not having that alcohol thing on our back.

[mylife]

MAYkin' It Sober

Hey guys,

Fly - yes, I have to say I think I finally "got it". I feel a little like Jason Vale when he realized he didn't have to drink anymore. LOL.

Allswell - I definitely could not agree more that sobriety is a process not an event.

K9 - I remembered you saying something similar months back. I guess it finally clicked for me!

So - I'm glad to be back - rather than sliding into that dark place. I just had some sparkling Pear juice from IKEA. It's quite tasty actually.

[Destiniey]

MAYkin' It Sober

Hi Mylife....welcome back to MWO. I too am on day 1 and I finally feel like this time I am going to succeed! It's time to break this nasty cycle....so lets be strong and do it together. Best of luck on day 1.

[DizzyBee]

MAYkin' It Sober

Hi everyone

I think I'm finally trying to settle down to less threads so that I can spend more quality time on the ones I am on. I hate this buzzing in and out stuff and I suppose it takes everyone a while to find their niche.

So I have the Topa thread which is what brought me here, the AF thread that I write on each morning to remind myself as my commitment to being sober and this one is well mostly to meet as many of you as possible.

Because I work from home I often feel isolated and when I drank I practically became a hermit. I didn't like rehab or AA but I do like coming here and meeting new people and bouncing ideas and even just writing arb nonsense like being annoyed by the fact that I just found a fly in my coffee... Guess what... I am annoyed that I just found a fly in my coffee. :H

Whats next - :flyingunders:

Oh, and then I have the gardening thread which I use for questions about gardening but at least thats just optional and a lot of people just post pictures, so its not quite as involved.

WW - I would be really grateful if you would ever post some pics of your garden on the gardening thread. Its in the holistic section. There are also some people with questions there and I don't always know the answer as I'm just an enthusiast, not an expert.

MB - sorry about the wobble. It the funny thing about antabuse. I can't speak for you but in the past I knew when I was going to drink and I would stop taking it and I would still be surprised afterward. My brother said he is going to video tape me if I ever drink again so that he could play it to me if I stop taking those little white pills and start saying things like, 'I'll be careful this time'. I don't know why we romanticise it but good on you for coming straight back here and starting over. :l

The rest of you, I think we're all in agreement and its scary how similar I feel about alcohol right now. Perhaps it is simply practicing and practicing and finally something will click that no, we will not have fun with alcohol. We will not have one or two, we will have too many, feel awful the next day, lose out on a day's fun/work, have several days worth of anxiety (I know I do, alcohol brings back feelings of slight paranoia and anxiety as I know I'm not in control when its in my life) I also don't have fun anymore. Perhaps I have used up all the 'fun times' that alcohol could've given me, if that is possible.

:illbeback:

[K9Lover]

MAYkin' It Sober

Hi MAYkins!

Ewww, Dizzy, pick that fly out of your coffee...unless you need extra protein this morning. LOL

I went home early yesterday due to continuing stomach issues. I know Mama was recently diagnosed with an ulcer, and I think maybe I have one too...how do they determine that? Anyway, I can't believe how much I've been sleeping lately also, maybe I am fighting something else. I'm going on a mini vacation tomorrow and hope to feel good. Maybe I am just allergic to my cubicle at work? I feel magically better when I am away from it. LOL

My two "counters" on my phone have finally met in the middle, one is counting up (AF days) and one is counting down (days 'till I hit the big 40!)...today they're both at 149! For some reason I think time is going to speed up now that 4-0 is looming. Ugh.

Guess I'd better catch up on some work since I've been slacking...I hope you all have a great day. I'll be around until tomorrow afternoon, then I'll be gone until Tuesday 5/29 so nobody panic and think I'm guzzling poison! Antabuse is firmly in my bod!

K9

[mylife]

MAYkin' It Sober

Hello Mays!

Hope you're all having a great day. It's sunny and hot here - no big surprise as it's Florida! I'm planning to go to the beach with my two sisters this weekend - my hubby and I have a condo there and he's out of town. One of my sisters is not touching AL as she has stomach issues (and she's not an Alcoholic so it's easy for her) so she'll be my support. I'm on a big diet anyway after my vacation so I don't have room for any empty poison calories!

Destiny - we can do this!
Dizzy - I hear you on the too many threads. I used to post all over the place and felt like I was getting another addiction LOL. Now I just read mostly and post in one or two spots.
K9 - hope your stomach feels better. 149 - that's fantastic! And who cares about 40! I turned 49 this month so 40 now seems so young. Have fun on your mini vacation!

Hope you all have a great day.

[FlyAway]

MAYkin' It Sober

K9Lover;1321736 wrote: Hi MAYkins!

Ewww, Dizzy, pick that fly out of your coffee...unless you need extra protein this morning. LOL

I went home early yesterday due to continuing stomach issues. I know Mama was recently diagnosed with an ulcer, and I think maybe I have one too...how do they determine that? Anyway, I can't believe how much I've been sleeping lately also, maybe I am fighting something else. I'm going on a mini vacation tomorrow and hope to feel good. Maybe I am just allergic to my cubicle at work? I feel magically better when I am away from it. LOL

My two "counters" on my phone have finally met in the middle, one is counting up (AF days) and one is counting down (days 'till I hit the big 40!)...today they're both at 149! For some reason I think time is going to speed up now that 4-0 is looming. Ugh.

Guess I'd better catch up on some work since I've been slacking...I hope you all have a great day. I'll be around until tomorrow afternoon, then I'll be gone until Tuesday 5/29 so nobody panic and think I'm guzzling poison! Antabuse is firmly in my bod!

K9

I just got done saying this in another thread, but I think you should see a gastroenterologist. I had a lot of stomach pain and digestive issues several years ago and ended up having an endoscopy done with a biopsy of my stomach lining. From that they determined that I had h. pylori bacteria in my stomach that caused gastritis. I had to take antibiotics to kill the h. pylori and take meds for the gastritis too.

[allswell]

MAYkin' It Sober

Hi Everyone,

The week is winding down and I hope everyone has a bunch of fun planned for the long weekend. MyLife - the condo on the beach sounds like a perfect way to spend the holiday.
K9 - I hope you are able to enjoy the four days with your family and the GI issues are nothing serious. 40 is not bad, I'm turning 48 in June and I feel great! I would feel a whole lot worse about getting older if I was still an active drunk that's for sure. Without booze I feel like everything is full of promise.
Have a great weekend everyone!!!

[Destiniey]

MAYkin' It Sober

Good morning everyone!

MyLife...It sounds like you are going to have a great weekend...a condo on the beach sounds so wonderful and relaxing! I hope you have fantastic weather. And, yes....we can do this. I am sure your sister will be your rock....embrace it and don't let go. Have fun!!!!! Keep us posted!

[Destiniey]

MAYkin' It Sober

Allswell, I don't know how to copy quotes in a post....but what you wrote about "getting older is alot easier without booze and that without booze everything is full of promise"... is so inspirational. I will keep those thoughts with me today!