Hi All:
Last night we went out to dinner to an Italian restaurant that "offered" a complimentary "sip" before dinner so that you can sample their wine. I call it a sip b/c after we declined I looked over at another table that sat down & couldn't take my eyes off their wine glass. It was an older couple who shared a glass. Well the amount ...for me as an alcoholic...and yes I can call myself that but not outloud....was that I couldn't believe that they shared this 1/2 inch of wine between 2 people~ commenting on the taste (& they didn't order it).
I am relieved that I am now AF 52 days. I can not just sip wine & not buy more. I was so content drinking my diet coke knowing I could enjoy my meal & not have to concern myself as to how slow or quick to drink that my mind was occupied with thoughts of drinking rather than enjoying my meal.
I reminded myself that when I drank my life became the same damn thing over & over. I never opened my eyes to see that everyday has possibilities of growth and is anything but repeptitive as long as I just don't drink. I drank, my same problems occured over & over....I became stagnant.
After dinner I thought about why I resisted choosing to be AF. I realized that giving up alcohol was like giving up my former self-the only self I knew. I wanted guarantees that giving up alcohol was the right choice. I wanted to know that I would be stronger & happier. I am. Will I ever cave in...statistics say yes. But I know that the more days of being AF...the better chance for me to bounce right back.
It reminded me of a saying that someone from AA told me...Nothing will change if you don't change it.
Last night we went out to dinner to an Italian restaurant that "offered" a complimentary "sip" before dinner so that you can sample their wine. I call it a sip b/c after we declined I looked over at another table that sat down & couldn't take my eyes off their wine glass. It was an older couple who shared a glass. Well the amount ...for me as an alcoholic...and yes I can call myself that but not outloud....was that I couldn't believe that they shared this 1/2 inch of wine between 2 people~ commenting on the taste (& they didn't order it).
I am relieved that I am now AF 52 days. I can not just sip wine & not buy more. I was so content drinking my diet coke knowing I could enjoy my meal & not have to concern myself as to how slow or quick to drink that my mind was occupied with thoughts of drinking rather than enjoying my meal.
I reminded myself that when I drank my life became the same damn thing over & over. I never opened my eyes to see that everyday has possibilities of growth and is anything but repeptitive as long as I just don't drink. I drank, my same problems occured over & over....I became stagnant.
After dinner I thought about why I resisted choosing to be AF. I realized that giving up alcohol was like giving up my former self-the only self I knew. I wanted guarantees that giving up alcohol was the right choice. I wanted to know that I would be stronger & happier. I am. Will I ever cave in...statistics say yes. But I know that the more days of being AF...the better chance for me to bounce right back.
It reminded me of a saying that someone from AA told me...Nothing will change if you don't change it.
Control the Mind
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