Hi,
Just wanted to get some stuff off my chest and get some feedback on some things going on in my life, I know you all have great advice to give.
I have been drinking since age 13, some stages more than others, had a terrible time with my dad growing up so have always thought this had contributed to my drinking too much, also had alcoholic grandfather. by 20 I had two kids, a daughter and a son, and my son's father was verbally and physically abusive (much like dad had been) so we broke up when my daughter was 6 and my son was 4. He tried to take the kids from me, and ended up kidnapping my son, I did not see him again until he was 16, he was gone for 12 years all up. My son and I are very happy to have each other back in our lives, and at 20 he has moved in with me , I'm living with my son again for the first time since he was 4. During the years I lost him, I had two nervous breakdowns and drank ALOT, I did emotional damage to my daughter, but she can look back and see the pain I was in and we have a good relationship now, especially since I didn't drink for 3
years during her teen years, mainly out of guilt for what I had done to her for not being there for her due to the pain of losing her brother in her early years.
You would think that my life would be great now I have both my kids again, and it is. I had been drinking socially during this time, and binging rarely, but still knew I was drinking to much again, it always seems to creep up on you. I had started to see a guy I met on the internet a few months before my son moved back in with me. He knew what I was like, drinking ect. but he really had a problem with it, and now I am under an ultimatum to not drink at all, and I agree that abs is the way to go, and I'm doing it for me, but he is always checking on me and doesn't think I can go without. He wanted me to move in with him straight away, and proposed within 6 months, I said yes as I thought he was the one, he was so sweet and romantic in the beginning, but since I said yes he has changed, no more flowers ect. and he's become very critical of my son, wanting him to move out so that I can move in with him. My son has only been living with me for 6 months, and in this time has done a TAFE course and got a good job, he's going for his car liscence next week. His father had never given him any encouragement, and was overly critical, and he wasn't going anywhere in life, he was living in a mate's garage, so I'm being as supportive as I can. Since living with me he's excited about his future and is making plans. I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, I'm trying to keep my man happy, but don't want to rush my son out of the house when we are just getting to know each other, and things are going so well. My man has always been on his back, insisting he should have had a job only a week after moving to be with me from the city. He has a job now, but he critises saying he should be saving money to move out, not going out with friends ( and I'm so happy he's made friends here!). My man doesn't like my friends either and is generally running everyone down. Once after I mentioned my son he went off and said he was sick of hearing the sound of his name which really hurt me and I went home and drank after being af for 36 days. I did it hoping he would dump me after disobeying his ultimatum, but he didn't and so we go on. My loyalty is to my son and some days I don't care if I see my man again, other days I get scared that when my son does leave I will be alone again.
I now have an ultimatum of April to move in with him and for my son to move out.
Some advice would be appreciated!
Jasmin
Just wanted to get some stuff off my chest and get some feedback on some things going on in my life, I know you all have great advice to give.
I have been drinking since age 13, some stages more than others, had a terrible time with my dad growing up so have always thought this had contributed to my drinking too much, also had alcoholic grandfather. by 20 I had two kids, a daughter and a son, and my son's father was verbally and physically abusive (much like dad had been) so we broke up when my daughter was 6 and my son was 4. He tried to take the kids from me, and ended up kidnapping my son, I did not see him again until he was 16, he was gone for 12 years all up. My son and I are very happy to have each other back in our lives, and at 20 he has moved in with me , I'm living with my son again for the first time since he was 4. During the years I lost him, I had two nervous breakdowns and drank ALOT, I did emotional damage to my daughter, but she can look back and see the pain I was in and we have a good relationship now, especially since I didn't drink for 3
years during her teen years, mainly out of guilt for what I had done to her for not being there for her due to the pain of losing her brother in her early years.
You would think that my life would be great now I have both my kids again, and it is. I had been drinking socially during this time, and binging rarely, but still knew I was drinking to much again, it always seems to creep up on you. I had started to see a guy I met on the internet a few months before my son moved back in with me. He knew what I was like, drinking ect. but he really had a problem with it, and now I am under an ultimatum to not drink at all, and I agree that abs is the way to go, and I'm doing it for me, but he is always checking on me and doesn't think I can go without. He wanted me to move in with him straight away, and proposed within 6 months, I said yes as I thought he was the one, he was so sweet and romantic in the beginning, but since I said yes he has changed, no more flowers ect. and he's become very critical of my son, wanting him to move out so that I can move in with him. My son has only been living with me for 6 months, and in this time has done a TAFE course and got a good job, he's going for his car liscence next week. His father had never given him any encouragement, and was overly critical, and he wasn't going anywhere in life, he was living in a mate's garage, so I'm being as supportive as I can. Since living with me he's excited about his future and is making plans. I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, I'm trying to keep my man happy, but don't want to rush my son out of the house when we are just getting to know each other, and things are going so well. My man has always been on his back, insisting he should have had a job only a week after moving to be with me from the city. He has a job now, but he critises saying he should be saving money to move out, not going out with friends ( and I'm so happy he's made friends here!). My man doesn't like my friends either and is generally running everyone down. Once after I mentioned my son he went off and said he was sick of hearing the sound of his name which really hurt me and I went home and drank after being af for 36 days. I did it hoping he would dump me after disobeying his ultimatum, but he didn't and so we go on. My loyalty is to my son and some days I don't care if I see my man again, other days I get scared that when my son does leave I will be alone again.
I now have an ultimatum of April to move in with him and for my son to move out.
Some advice would be appreciated!
Jasmin
Control the Mind
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