Starting a AF or AL thread now !

[dixon]

Starting a AF or AL thread now !

41 days AF ,hate AL...

Thanks for your hugging NoraC.
I will do it for sure now.
I am now gonna be addicted with fruits,juices ,whole meal and more importantly in meditation and light exercise more when feel craving...
I have been committed to stay AF after reading your long journey and others stories.
Dix

[dixon]

Starting a AF or AL thread now !

42 days AF!

Hi friends ,
I am continuing SF days and good .Started hating AL but the mind is mess..
No concentration at all ,concentration power need to be achieved.Any ideas please?
I really can't get at once if someone is saying something.I have to use radio on my but can not get once so fearing of loosing job.people say I am not serious on job that's why they have given me last warning.My brain always diverted with my family break down.If I lose job I won't get again so seriously worrying.I do meditation but it takes time.i need quick recovery any medicine for the time being to save my job would be highly appreciated.Ijust have to save my job for one year,I will do my own business then after.
Can anyone advise if amino acid,l-glutamine or any other medicine please?:-)
Tired...
Dix

[dixon]

Starting a AF or AL thread now !

42 days AF!

Hi friends ,
I am continuing SF days and feeling good .Started hating AL but the mind is mess..
No concentration at all ,concentration power need to be achieved.Any ideas please?
I really can't get at once if someone is saying something.I have to use radio on my but can not get once so fearing of loosing job.people say I am not serious on job that's why they have given me last warning.My brain always diverted with my family break down.If I lose job I won't get again so seriously worrying.I do meditation but it takes time.i need quick recovery any medicine for the time being to save my job would be highly appreciated.Ijust have to save my job for one year,I will do my own business then after.
Can anyone advise if amino acid,l-glutamine or any other medicine please?:-)
Tired...
Dix

[dixon]

Starting a AF or AL thread now !

43 days...

Hi folks
I have done 43 days.I have no interest in AL.But worried how to concentrate my mind on works.it diverts very badly.
Memory is low.
Concerned how to repair it I think it is not badly damaged but cause of worrying and depression.
Any idea please!
Dixon

[dixon]

Starting a AF or AL thread now !

44 days.

Just continuation of thread...
Thinking how to defeat depression and mood swings.
Dix

[dixon]

Starting a AF or AL thread now !

46 days..

Hi all,
Today tired of work.
just to update the thread.
I was exploring the MWO postss all the day now lying on the bed and seeing posts again.
I am eager to post 55 days post now.
Dix

[Wagoneer]

Starting a AF or AL thread now !

Best of luck Dix! You are doing wonderfully. Have you been to a doctor regarding the memory problems (sorry if you already posted this). You have been through a tough journey and the anxiety and depression come with the territory. I wish I could say there is a magicc pill to make everything back to normal, but there really isn't. All this time we have been damaging the hell out of our minds and bodies with booze....they need time to heal. Sending you healing and positive thoughts!

Waggy

[dixon]

Starting a AF or AL thread now !

Wagon,
It's nice to hear from you again!
I have an appointment to the doctor tomorrow.As am aware with my depression and alcohol problem I won't say anything more but would like to check my overall body functions.if I get any wrong I will then reveal my issues.I think I am ok now cause I am feeling better and healthy.
Regarding depression,I have no suicidal thoughts at all but have plans to do new things in future but not feeling sufficient to start them.Hence,I have to raise my confidence and memory power back.
I think its a mess of low self esteem .I feel sometime high and others are low.And am aware its becauseof transitional period which is helping on my recovery.
Thanks
Dix

[dixon]

Starting a AF or AL thread now !

day 47...

Remained AF whole day though I was off work today.I have been to outside local market but don't have any craving at all.Still am comfortable with the urges...
Anyway it's 47 days today!!!!
Dix

[daisy45]

Starting a AF or AL thread now !

Keep it going Dixon.....well done!

[dixon]

Starting a AF or AL thread now !

Thanks Daisy,
I will do!
How about you?
Dixon

[dixon]

Starting a AF or AL thread now !

48 days....

Fellows,
I am doing well and completed my 48 days AF.
Being AF,
My flat is always neat and clean,there's no job pending, intake of healthy foods,doing light exercises when the time avails.
I find myself handsome in the mirror and used to see mirror frequently...lol.
Anyway starts loving body.
Problem,
Concentration on works is really getting tough.
50% mind goes to family broken side and only 50% on works so becoming difficulty to save the job.
So,50% on regretting to the past and 50% for constructive works. I am really worried about my Family beak down.Any idea to get relieved from family regrets?
I can now remain AF for the sake of health and family.
I can't accept my wife but love her too much..what's a hell?
Love my kids but she is using them as a safeguard...
Dix

[madmans]

Starting a AF or AL thread now !

Dixon you cant change the past only try to shape the future, i'm sure right now your wife still thinks your an alkie and it will take time for her to change her mind but time goes in fast and things will change.
You can worry about things all day long but it wont help/change anything, my advice would be to get on with your life and let her see you have changed by your actions , words are cheap but if she sees you have really changed maybe she will change too but it will take time.

[dixon]

Starting a AF or AL thread now !

49 days...

You are truly speaking Madmans!
The problem is that I am still not happy to accept her and my role of father to my children are isolated.if I can't do anything at their tender age of 15 girl and 11 boy,my role as a father will not remain anymore...
What suggestion do you give me for my re- marriage depending on my age and children's age please?
I am now 41 years and living alone and need to cover child maintenance which is? 400.00 per months after tax.
I have to cover my expenses as well and being under the low self esteem I am prone to lose my current job. Is
That's all.I welcome anybodys advices please.
Talk to you again.
Dix

[madmans]

Starting a AF or AL thread now !

The problem is that I am still not happy to accept her

This will change with time, with all the years of drinking it changes the way we think and we rely on it to control (numb) our emotions , we dont deal with problems the way we should , so now we have to learn how to deal with problems all over again.
Each day i have been sober has made me stronger mentally , back to the person i was, yes it has taken time but i have learned so much about myself in doing it that i would not change the journey , nothing troubles me now and i do think everyone can do the same .
As for re-marriage i wouldn't even worry about that for now what ever will be will be, lots of people split up and remarry and the kids are fine but why worry about what might happen or not happen.
i know you have low self esteem but you have come so far you should feel proud, lots of people that come to this site would give their right arm to get as far down the road as you have, you have rights under the law to see your kids and legal aid if need be to go court if there is any problems that way but it would be best if the two of you could work it out first.
I'm not really religious but i have come to believe what every happens, happens for a reason maybe this could be the space you need to get your life in order with out all the pressure of family life around you.
This is all about dealing with life again sober , not easy at times but it does get better .