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[madmans]

Starting a AF or AL thread now !

Is it because of transitional period or not?

Hi Dix , i would say yes to this question , my mind has changed so much over since i have got sober and it does take time, slowly i am becoming the person i once was , it is a long process but remember we didn't just become drunks over night .
My mind is working better and memories that had long been forgotten have come back (happy and sad ones) the reason for this in my case is i think i buried them away, not wanting to think about them and used drink to do that.
Try to focus on the short term , if we spend too much time worrying about tomorrow we stop living today.
A sober life still has it's ups and downs but we deal with them better, when i was drinking i loved misery , it gave me a reason to drink, it justified why i was drinking .
It will take time, dont let any negative thoughts start to grow in your mind just as in the same way you shouldn't let any drinking thoughts start in your mind, hard at the start i know but doable.

[dixon]

Starting a AF or AL thread now !

madmans;1368933 wrote: Hi Dix , i would say yes to this question , my mind has changed so much over since i have got sober and it does take time, slowly i am becoming the person i once was , it is a long process but remember we didn't just become drunks over night .
My mind is working better and memories that had long been forgotten have come back (happy and sad ones) the reason for this in my case is i think i buried them away, not wanting to think about them and used drink to do that.
Try to focus on the short term , if we spend too much time worrying about tomorrow we stop living today.
A sober life still has it's ups and downs but we deal with them better, when i was drinking i loved misery , it gave me a reason to drink, it justified why i was drinking .
It will take time, dont let any negative thoughts start to grow in your mind just as in the same way you shouldn't let any drinking thoughts start in your mind, hard at the start i know but doable.

Yes,I agree with you it takes a long to get back to normal.I also believe It also depends so many things and I would like to share my thoughts as bellows.
1. The number of years we abused it.
2. What was out dietary patterns when we were addict.
3.Amount and frequency of drinking.
4.Did we drink in empty stomach ?, I usual used to do especially for the last three years.
5.Age factor.( it is really important and would like ask yours if you wouldn't mind )
6.Stress levels.
7.heredity.
8.how many regrettable stuffs we did while we were addicted?
9. Any tragedies ??
and so on....

In my cases ,I am worried about my age factors,my drinking patterns,depression which I believe some cause of heredity and others drinking. Dietary was good at that period.
It seems you are getting well so may I ask you here or by PM about your age,drinking pattern,and metal illness please ?
Dix

[dixon]

Starting a AF or AL thread now !

108 days AF..

Guys,

108 days AF today,I have heard it is taken a divine number somewhere in the world but don't know where?? Anyone has any idea ?.As per I know , if some one repeats or do/performs any commitment either 108 consecutive days or 108 times it is considered as a disciple of the God ??
Anyway , I am here today !
Awareness to physical fitness and more focused on mind recovery...

Dix

[madmans]

Starting a AF or AL thread now !

Well first for mental illness problems , the reason i used Madmans for a name here is that was how i was feeling for years, i thought i was using AL to self medicate and calm my racing mind, when i tried to stop drinking before things just went out of sink and AL seemed to bring everything back to a calm level (mood, temper and anxiety), it was really here that i read and understood that AL was causing these problems for me.
I'm 40 now more or less the same as you if i am right , also with 2 kids.
Drinking pattering, that's a good one , where do you start? from about late 96 until 2005 i drank pretty much every night until black out and most mornings/all day at the weekend if i was by myself and didn't have to work, i moved in the the other half in 2005 and had been trying to control (moderate) it , this didn't work so i would use every and any excuse to drink, Football for example covered Mondays,Tuesday,Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday nights .
What was in the fridge to drink would only be about half of what i was drinking , i hid my drinking for the last few years, watered down the hard stuff so the bottles would not be empty, if i wasn't drinking i wished i was.
So even though at the end i wasn't drinking to the extent as i had been when i was living alone, it was still way too high (About 40 plus cans of beer a week plus the shots) it was still ruling my life, everything was been planned around drinking.

Edit :

7.heredity

yea i have sibling with drink problems and was starting to see them i me , not nice.

[dixon]

Starting a AF or AL thread now !

madmans;1369123 wrote: Well first for mental illness problems , the reason i used Madmans for a name here is that was how i was feeling for years, i thought i was using AL to self medicate and calm my racing mind, when i tried to stop drinking before things just went out of sink and AL seemed to bring everything back to a calm level (mood, temper and anxiety), it was really here that i read and understood that AL was causing these problems for me.
I'm 40 now more or less the same as you if i am right , also with 2 kids.
Drinking pattering, that's a good one , where do you start? from about late 96 until 2005 i drank pretty much every night until black out and most mornings/all day at the weekend if i was by myself and didn't have to work, i moved in the the other half in 2005 and had been trying to control (moderate) it , this didn't work so i would use every and any excuse to drink, Football for example covered Mondays,Tuesday,Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday nights .
What was in the fridge to drink would only be about half of what i was drinking , i hid my drinking for the last few years, watered down the hard stuff so the bottles would not be empty, if i wasn't drinking i wished i was.
So even though at the end i wasn't drinking to the extent as i had been when i was living alone, it was still way too high (About 40 plus cans of beer a week plus the shots) it was still ruling my life, everything was been planned around drinking.

Edit : yea i have sibling with drink problems and was starting to see them i me , not nice.

Hi Madman,

Of course I am also age of 40 with two kids but not living with them now since violence happened last year.They are in refuge with my wife.
It all happened bacause of AL and ego problems.
My drinking pattern was the same as you, I used to drink a lot until I get black out .I used to go work with Al smell...too tragic.I was a General Manager of a big company where 1500 peoples were working and more than 90 % were women.I was popular there cause I had done tremendous change to increase volume of sales.I was not aware with Al damage the brain and just was worried about black outs.All of was done just for fun and was doing good in job as well, earned a big amount of money in 10 years .When I came into the UK for settlement,I lost my position of GM and got deprived from the social life.Initially,I was new here and was living here just for day to day issues and for a small saving.These changes made me feel a life of animals .So I became more isolated with family ,got depressed and started drinking in the morning too ,or whenever I got a bit of time.Its all been because of transitional time and whatever I have done worse are before well settling with the community.
After losing all even family , and knowing its relation with mind it made me easier to decide to remain AF.
I have terrified my kids and known that they are under counselling ...What a shame !!
Regarding heredity, I was talking about depression ...IMy mom is now fighting with dementia who never and ever could think of AL in her life , she is extremely strict in dietary.
Thanks Madman,
Di

[CanToo]

Starting a AF or AL thread now !

Dixon,

You do know that depression is caused by a chemical imbalance and can be treated with medication? I had a period of 4 years when I was on anti-depressants. They made me feel nothing but I was able to work and function.

Are you looking for help on your depression?

[dixon]

Starting a AF or AL thread now !

CanToo;1369172 wrote: Dixon,

You do know that depression is caused by a chemical imbalance and can be treated with medication? I had a period of 4 years when I was on anti-depressants. They made me feel nothing but I was able to work and function.

Are you looking for help on your depression?

Hi CanToo,


Thanks for your curiosity !
Yes, I have been on AD since 2004 and on AL since 1990 .I was a occasional drinker until 1995 but became suddenly a huge drinker aftermath.
In 2004, I started my anti depressant so I am now thinking is that cause of AL or from my own heredity or tragic pain ??
If depression is because of both them or alone , what sorts of long term impact it provides to the the brain?. Its my worrying.
Dix

[dixon]

Starting a AF or AL thread now !

Hi all,


Today is the happiest day in my sober journey.
I have organized all the messed up documents in a filing cabinet.
Contacted all the relatives living apart .
Today is 109th AF day !!!!
Dix

[dixon]

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110 days..

Got a chance to perform a challenging task today..
I feel I was too inactive for a long so became a burden.People should have a quite challenging job to keep them fit.
Anyway it was a eye opening program for me.
Dix

[dixon]

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111 days..

hi ,
Its a continuation of my counting.
I am thinking to make a action plan of life for one and three years,really eager to implement the same .

Dix

[dixon]

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113 days AF..

No AL,no craving...may be going now for recovery!!
Dix

[dixon]

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100+14 days.

Now the AF days seem piling up slowly so I make it,
100 days
And
14 days to make it 114 .
We are so sensible that the same thing presented in different way looks more appealing!
What a LOL !!
Dix

[dixon]

Starting a AF or AL thread now !

117

Making it today 100
Plus
17 more days AF.
dix

[dixon]

Starting a AF or AL thread now !

118

Yea 118 days AF today..
Mood gratitude.
Dix

[dixon]

Starting a AF or AL thread now !

119

119 days AF,feeling better.
Dix