I hate this

[MtnMomma]

Well my stupid AL brain told me it was a good idea to drink yesterday. Of course I gave in when I absolutely knew better. I have such guilt, shame and anxiety. Mostly because I promised my daughter I wouldn't drink. She didn't know but keeping it from her is killing me. Hiding it is killing me. I'm asking myself the same question over and over. Why did I do it? The only answer I have is because I was thoughtless and stupid. I know I can't be down on myself. My family needs me. So I'm going to pick myself up and try not to let it happen again. When I get to thinking that I'm going to drink, I'm going to change that to another direction. Maybe I'll actually come here instead. Do something about the nonsense.

[daisy45]

I hate this

MtnMomma;1319081 wrote: Well my stupid AL brain told me it was a good idea to drink yesterday. Of course I gave in when I absolutely knew better. I have such guilt, shame and anxiety. Mostly because I promised my daughter I wouldn't drink. She didn't know but keeping it from her is killing me. Hiding it is killing me. I'm asking myself the same question over and over. Why did I do it? The only answer I have is because I was thoughtless and stupid. I know I can't be down on myself. My family needs me. So I'm going to pick myself up and try not to let it happen again. When I get to thinking that I'm going to drink, I'm going to change that to another direction. Maybe I'll actually come here instead. Do something about the nonsense.

Hi MtnMomma; I know it's a rotten feeling; as far as your daughter goes, ignorance is bliss on this occasion so let that one go. You can continue on now like you were before and you 'will' be proud of yourself again.......I have made sooooo many promises to my children over the years; so sincere when I made them, only to mess up. I decided after coming here over a year ago not to make any more promises - the nature of this beast does not allow us that privilege. Just continuing to aim for a sober life will let her see you are making a huge effort and she will recognise that.
Lav said yesterday that if she feels any craving that she completely changes direction - does something different to what she was doing when the craving appeared; believe it or not I hadn't really thought about doing that until I read it yesterday....
Now, just try to move on today; you will regain trust in yourself as you see those AF days clocking up again. Best of luck......

[MtnMomma]

I hate this

It just makes so much sense to change AL thinking in a different direction and to do something different when the thought creeps in. Try to put the poison out of my mind. I realize I've been making excuses to drink but no more. It keeps coming back to step one for me. Take it one day at a time. I sound repetitious, many have said this. I'm going to try and continue moving forward. I really don't have advice or insight to give others as I feel I'm still struggling. I hope one day I can help someone take their first step.

[Lavande]

I hate this

MtnMomma,

The reason we do stupid stuff like that is because we are addicted - simple as that!
We have to break the addiction by adopting a zero tolerance policy towards Al.
JUST SAY NO! comes to mind here. Taking drinking as an option completely off the table, no matter what.

Get AL out of your house & vow to buy no more - I did!!!
Decide (ahead of time) how you are going to handle things like stress, lonliness, celebrations, etc. without AL. Stock up on AF drinks of your choice & choose them.
Take a look at all of your drinking triggers & decide today how you will manage them without AL.
The Tool box is loaded with great ideas.

Starting right this minute, ignore the mind chatter, it will stop eventually. It is NOT OK to have just one

Come back to the Newbies Nest for more support!
Most of all, make the necessary changes & be proud of yourself
Lav