My Experience and be Honest.....
I have not open a new thread in a long time i need to share this and get honest with mwo i have shared this what am going to share at meetings, but i still feel if i dont share it here am hiding something. So here goes a few weeks ago i went to Amsterdam for the weekend for my hubby b/day. It funny i shared at meetings when i was gonna go away on hoilday for 2 weeks all my fear around Alcholic but for some reason i did not share any of my fears this time round i think i knew deep down i did not want ppl to say dont try it and the only way am going to learn is from my own experiences.
First day in Amsterdam had to try a space cake thinking in my head, it ok to try this, it only a sponge cake, cant see the drug that inside the cake, it ok.( How canning and buffling Additions is) My hubby was alright funny think is he give me the smaller piece of the cake, him havin picked the bigger piece.
Afterwards went for a walk did not think nothing of it. I wanted to have a another cake, a hour later could not stop laughing, had no control of my bladder hubby thought i was having a poo but i was pissing myself and laughin at the sametime and did not care who was watching I needed to get back to the hotel was getting worst in myself. Got back things got worsts had NO CONTROL over all my emotions ( felt like i had so many different personlities in side me) 1 minute i was laughin, crying, feeling depress, paranoid, and panic attacks, all in one, scared to go asleep, Doctor said i must of had more ingredients in mine and give me choco'late and a bottle of coke to drink
I just wanted to be ME AGAIN.
The mad think about this is that the next day in the afternoon i said to my hubby shall we try another space cake because my one was a dodgy one....Hmmmm he just give me that look ! I feel so blessed and grateful that it did not lead me to pick up a drink..I am over 2years sober even though i had the intentions of havin this space cake and maybe its a slip ? i dont know ! but am not going to beat myself up about it. My 2years are not wasted they are still there for me. I have learn a big lesson from this, what ever i take, to try and change the way a feel i just dont have NO control over me.
Feel so glad now that i have shared this with you folks.
Catch 22 x
I have not open a new thread in a long time i need to share this and get honest with mwo i have shared this what am going to share at meetings, but i still feel if i dont share it here am hiding something. So here goes a few weeks ago i went to Amsterdam for the weekend for my hubby b/day. It funny i shared at meetings when i was gonna go away on hoilday for 2 weeks all my fear around Alcholic but for some reason i did not share any of my fears this time round i think i knew deep down i did not want ppl to say dont try it and the only way am going to learn is from my own experiences.
First day in Amsterdam had to try a space cake thinking in my head, it ok to try this, it only a sponge cake, cant see the drug that inside the cake, it ok.( How canning and buffling Additions is) My hubby was alright funny think is he give me the smaller piece of the cake, him havin picked the bigger piece.
Afterwards went for a walk did not think nothing of it. I wanted to have a another cake, a hour later could not stop laughing, had no control of my bladder hubby thought i was having a poo but i was pissing myself and laughin at the sametime and did not care who was watching I needed to get back to the hotel was getting worst in myself. Got back things got worsts had NO CONTROL over all my emotions ( felt like i had so many different personlities in side me) 1 minute i was laughin, crying, feeling depress, paranoid, and panic attacks, all in one, scared to go asleep, Doctor said i must of had more ingredients in mine and give me choco'late and a bottle of coke to drink
I just wanted to be ME AGAIN.
The mad think about this is that the next day in the afternoon i said to my hubby shall we try another space cake because my one was a dodgy one....Hmmmm he just give me that look ! I feel so blessed and grateful that it did not lead me to pick up a drink..I am over 2years sober even though i had the intentions of havin this space cake and maybe its a slip ? i dont know ! but am not going to beat myself up about it. My 2years are not wasted they are still there for me. I have learn a big lesson from this, what ever i take, to try and change the way a feel i just dont have NO control over me.
Feel so glad now that i have shared this with you folks.
Catch 22 x
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