So...the weekend is almost here...

[LibraryGirl]

So...the weekend is almost here...

And, whether you are a "true" alcoholic or not, if you drink above the recommended dosages (1-2 drinks a day, and not stored up for the weekends either, lol), cirrhosis and other serious health problems do not discriminate.

[drinkingal]

So...the weekend is almost here...

supercrew I do agree it is about perception. If modding to you means someone who goes from being a heavy drinker to just deciding one day they'll just start having only two, then that idea of modding is unrealistic. But to someone like me, modding is largely about harm reduction and the whole concept of harm reduction is that it realises that statistically of the percentage of people who do have a drinking problem and attempt to quit only a small minority will succeed long term. The rest will continue drinking at the same levels or more unless they take a different approach to improve their lives.

All you have to do is follow these forums for any length of time to see the numbers of newbies who come here and attempt to quit, and most of them just disappear after a few days or weeks never to be seen again. A few come back months or years later and say their drinking is as bad as ever and they want to trying again. That doesn't mean abstinence doesn't work, but it frequently fails and when that happens, those people feel there is no other option but to forget about it for a while and continue on as before. So the all or nothing approach is counterproductive IMO.

The people who tend to stay here at the forum and frequently post are the success stories, but like I said, statistically you guys are the minority of people who did succeed, because lets face it no one wants to hang out a forum like this and be a failure, it's easier to walk away and keep drinking than subject yourself to that.

I just don't think we should be getting hung up on terminology and what moderating is or isnt according to what the guidelines say, because at the end of the day, what really counts is addressing our drinking in whichever way works best for each of us at this very moment in time, and respecting each method enough that we keep an open mind.

[Supercrew]

So...the weekend is almost here...

You keep making this false statement about people recovering from alcoholism and that only a small minority will succeed long term.

The reality is most alcoholics quit on their own.
There is a high rate of recovery among alcoholics. One estimate is that at least 50% of alcoholics eventually free themselves although only 10% are ever treated. One recent study found that 80% of all alcoholics who recover for a year or more do so on their own, some after being unsuccessfully treated. When a group of these self-treated alcoholics was interviewed, 57% said they simply decided that alcohol was bad for them. Twenty-nine percent said health problems, frightening experiences, accidents, or blackouts persuaded them to quit. Others used such phrases as "Things were building up" or "I was sick and tired of it." Support from a husband or wife was important in sustaining the resolution.
Treatment of Drug Abuse and Addiction — Part III, The Harvard Mental Health Letter, Volume 12, Number 4, October 1995, page 3.
(See Aug. (Part I), Sept. (Part II), Oct. 1995 (Part III).)

I like to think most people who leave here mature and recover on their own. I only stick around to try and help other who are struggling. I am a coach, and I enjoy helping people beat their problems. Even though it sounds like you are doing well, with the amount that you say you still drink I'm not really sure how that is possible. And please get me straight, I am not judging your method, but when you give advice that modding is good for a alcoholic in any amount, let alone the amount you consume, I have to disagree.

[K9Lover]

So...the weekend is almost here...

How are you doing Bri? How did your weekend go?

[briseus]

So...the weekend is almost here...

I drank.

That's why I have been avoiding the forums.
I wish I didn't drink but I don't regret it because I had a "good time".

People always say "you'll quit drinking when you're through drinking".
I am not sure what that even means.
Is wishing for it not to be a problem not enough in sobriety? Wanting it isn't enough? When do you finally say "enough is enough"?
How do you fight your ego when it comes to it?

I am really eager to see my addictions counsellor and make a plan.
I don't doubt that I probably have fatty liver - so why doesn't this make me want to stop drinking?

I need a different recovery plan.
Counsellor is step 1.
I don't know why I am even allowing this to happen. Do I hate myself that much?

I got into quite a big argument with loved ones over the weekend and I sat there and said to myself that it was "okay" that I drank to deal with it. But it's not.

Just needed to vent a bit.
I really do want sobriety.

[LibraryGirl]

So...the weekend is almost here...

Many people don't ever quit. It takes a lot of strength and resolve. I'm not even sure how I went from drinking every day to just not at all. I know at first I wanted out worst than anything because I was hurting so much from the abuse. Soon, though, I was convinced I had a handle on it, since I actually could go weeks without it, and thought well, I don't have to quit, I can drink when I want to and quit when I want. I haven't tested that theory fully, because I didn't drink to excess on the times that I did drink, after 39 days sober. I still didn't fully commit to never drinking again though, but the longer I go without, the more I think I just don't need it anymore. Plus, I'm on a weight-loss plan now and I know I wouldn't have the energy or resolve to diet, let alone exercise if I were still drinking. That's all I know, so far. It's a journey, with ups and downs, and I'm learning as I go along.

[Supercrew]

So...the weekend is almost here...

You'll quit drinking when the pain of drinking finally out weighs the perceived pleasure you receive from it.

It's really easy for me to sit back and say, just quit, you will be better off and you will eventually be happy, but it took me 20 some years to finally believe that was the best decision for me. I had to learn for myself through trial and error and through finally having the pain outweigh the perceived benefits.

It's a process. If you keep focusing on sobriety you will eventually get it. But I perceived sobriety as the pain and drinking as the pleasure for so long that it took me 20 years to get there.

[K9Lover]

So...the weekend is almost here...

Supercrew;1329534 wrote: You'll quit drinking when the pain of drinking finally out weighs the perceived pleasure you receive from it.

Perfectly said. That's when I quit. When I woke up AGAIN wondering what I did...how the HELL I had bruises all over my body, foggily remembering that I DROVE in almost a blackout....that's when enough was enough for me.

[Kradle123]

So...the weekend is almost here...

Garrison Keillor once said of his drinking that he thought he had hit rock bottom a few times and then realized he only hit a ledge..
It sounds like you are on the ledge Bri. You know what u need to do but don't have that 'thing' that whatever people get that moves them over the ledge yet to want to stop.

I smoked for 20 years and tried to quit a zillion times. I knew what smoking did . What it was. I knew it all but the fact was I loved to smoke! I simply didn't want to stop BADLY enough. I didn't have that thing yet in my life that pushed me over the ledge to rock bottom...And then I got pregnant....
And suddenly... there it was. The THING- clear as day and I never picked up another cig.

I have been waiting for the same THING to drive in front of me and make me want to stop drinking just like cig but this addiction has been different. And Well you would think I would have had plenty of things already tossed on front of me which would have pushed me over the ledge but voila! Here i am, clink click
So Really I just ended up hitting another ledge seems to be a ton of them on the way down. I think that's where all those bruises come from K9 :H
Anyway, sorry to ramble on Bri. Didn't mean to. My point is. I realize that just like Quitting the smokes, quitting alcohol is not the overnight success it appears to be. It was a HUGE process and the Thing I thought was the end was really the beginning - beginning of a smoke free life (so much better!) and the beginning of a no drinking life.
So you know what to do because you are doing it. Stay close to MWO and keep reading and posting- I joined in 2007, Bri and here I am 5 fricken years later still struggling and I gear rented it's because I DID not do the work you are doing now.
So you are doing great. In my humble opinion :l

[K9Lover]

So...the weekend is almost here...

I honestly don't remember the last time I had "fun" drinking. And seriously, I have no idea where the bruises come from...I know one time I fell in the shower and I looked like ONE BIG bruise on the entire left side of my body. It was a reminder for almost 2 weeks how much I HATE alcohol.

I know, Bri, that you're still having a "good time" drinking...that's why it's so hard to give it up. I used to have a good time too, and look where I ended up. I've had 2 DUI's, done jail time, paid THOUSANDS in fines, had an interlock on my car for a year, suspended license, and had my car reposessed because I couldn't afford it AND court fees. Not to mention the fact that I now have a "record" and I work for the government, so everytime I do a background check, I sweat bullets! Yeah....alcohol has been no friend of mine.

I'm not trying to scare you, just being honest about where it can lead. I want the best for you! Keep us posted okay? No matter what, we're here.

xoxo
K9

[briseus]

So...the weekend is almost here...

Thanks everyone for the encouraging words.

I do want to quit. I don't want to get to a point where I hit a personal "bottom". I don't want health problems or get into trouble because of my drinking.

I could rationalize my drinking until the cows come home...I am concerned about my health more so because of drinking...I also gained 30+ pounds because of the boozing and even THAT won't stop me from drinking - I'll just cut down on other foods. Isn't that utterly stupid??

I want to be through with drinking NOW. Not in the future or when I run into more issues. I don't want to do this anymore so WHY do I keep doing it? I have no clue why...or how I rationalize trying moderating or anything like that.

When I am not drinking and abstain for a few days I try to figure out how I can moderate. When I am actively drinking I am wondering how and why I just can't stop.

The boyfriend said "I'm laying off the booze for a while, I hate the way it makes me feel in the mornings, not rested and whatnot"...and that was that.
I hate the way that booze makes me feel too so why don't I just STOP like him? I know, because he isn't "addicted".

I am not physically addicted to alcohol at all...I am mentally however...and I just want to stop this crazy insanity.

Thank you to everyone for posting and cheering me on. I am trying. I am going to stay on here regardless of actively drinking or not {although I am not going to post while drinking}.

Kradle...it's the same thing with me. I quit smoking after doing it for 7 years. It was uncomfortable at first and I wanted a cigarette a couple of times so bad but told myself I wouldn't because I made a promise to myself and to others that I would quit...so that is done...so why is alcohol so hard? They say that smoking is the most addictive thing ever.

I know this post sounds like "poor me, boohoo, make it go away with a magic pill"...I know that nothing changes if nothing changes...and I can quit. It's just staying stopped part that's brutal. That addictive voice can get so loud and up in my face. It's annoying!

Just a little rambling here. Thanks.

[Supercrew]

So...the weekend is almost here...

Daily positive action will eventually make the addictive voice go away. You can do it!

[Kradle123]

So...the weekend is almost here...

Hey K9
I'm sorry I didn't mean to make lite of the physical harm we can do to ourselves when drunk. Really I didn't.
I was more trying to emphasize the psychological process I had had go thru. Am still going through.
It did remind me of an incident though where After a party at my house the next afternoon i had this cut on my hand and I my girlfriend said, "how'd you do that?" and I looked at her and I looked at my hand and said, " you know, I honestly don't know..."
And I swear to God instead of looking aghast she looked...relieved like, " Wow, you too!" Misery loves company
Anyway, sorry...

[K9Lover]

So...the weekend is almost here...

Kradle123;1329637 wrote: Hey K9
I'm sorry I didn't mean to make lite of the physical harm we can do to ourselves when drunk. Really I didn't.
I was more trying to emphasize the psychological process I had had go thru. Am still going through.
It did remind me of an incident though where After a party at my house the next afternoon i had this cut on my hand and I my girlfriend said, "how'd you do that?" and I looked at her and I looked at my hand and said, " you know, I honestly don't know..."
And I swear to God instead of looking aghast she looked...relieved like, " Wow, you too!" Misery loves company
Anyway, sorry...

Kradle - I thought NOTHING of it...no worries!!! I am just amazed that EVERY time I drank, I got bruised, I mean seriously, was I falling all over the place? I can't even fathom.

You didn't make light of it....

[briseus]

So...the weekend is almost here...

Supercrew when you say daily positive action what do you mean? Can you give me some examples please?