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    #1

    Tee-totalers are boring losers!

    Haha! That's how I used to think. In some ways I still do. Any time I met someone who didn't drink, I always thought, well we wouldn't hang out together, lol. Not that I didn't respect them, or even admire them, but I wondered what do they do for fun? What IS fun without AL?

    I'm still struggling with this mind set. I think about vacations, hanging out at the pool with my sister, going to the lake, etc. and without AL I'd rather lay on my bed and read a book. I feel like I'm missing out on all the REALLY fun things I used to look forward to because they aren't the same without AL. Not that I don't enjoy reading. I think everyone here who's read any of my posts get that. And also, I enjoy a hangover free morning. I like getting my errands done, walking with my dogs, shopping, watching tv, exercising (well, I'm trying) and reading, as I said, but other than that it's like a whole part of my life that was REALLY FUN is now gone. If I wanted to I could still do those things, sans AL, and probably could remain sober, but why would I? I still haven't gotten to the mind set of a truly sober person who enjoys ALL activities without thinking of enhancing them with AL.

    Anyone get where I'm coming from?

    LG


    "I like people too much or not at all."     Sylvia Plath
    Tags: None
    #2
    Tee-totalers are boring losers!

    Hi LG!

    This struggle is a big deal for me, too...unfortunately I have linked "Fun" with "Alcohol" VERY strongly in my psyche, and have not yet figured out the way to un-link them, for me. Obviously an activity which is pleasurable in and of itself IS still pleasurable, with or without AL...I know that. BUT... Hang out by the pool without a gin & tonic? Play the piano in the late afternoon without a cocktail nearby? Cook a nice supper for friends? Am open to suggestions...F
    . "It is only with the heart that one can see clearly; that which is essential, is invisible to the eye.". Antoine de Saint-Exupery

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      #3
      Tee-totalers are boring losers!

      I just thought this last weekend believe it or not talking to another mom (whom I like!) in my girls dance class. She mentioned that she really didn't like to drink wine so she didn't see the point in having a glass of wine with dinner. And my mind went, Zooooooom! Well, cross her off the friends list. Geez, what's that all about??

      PS: Lib Girl I PM nd you. Hope u don't mind.
      :question:
      On My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
      *If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
      https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html tool box
      https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html newbie nest

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        #4
        Tee-totalers are boring losers!

        I am having more fun than ever.
        It can be done.
        Love and Peace,
        Phil


        Sobriety Date 12.07.2009

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          #5
          Tee-totalers are boring losers!

          Drunk people are the most boring, self indulgent, self pitying, uninteresting, monotonous, tiresome, irksome people I have ever come across, I should know, I used to be one.
          "It's not your job to like me, it's mine!"

          AF 10th May 2010
          NF 12th May 2010

          Comment

            #6
            Tee-totalers are boring losers!

            one2many;1328472 wrote: Drunk people are the most boring, self indulgent, self pitying, uninteresting, monotonous, tiresome, irksome people I have ever come across, I should know, I used to be one.
            Me too.
            It could be worse, I could be filing.
            AF since 7/7/2009

            Comment

              #7
              Tee-totalers are boring losers!

              one2many;1328472 wrote: Drunk people are the most boring, self indulgent, self pitying, uninteresting, monotonous, tiresome, irksome people I have ever come across, I should know, I used to be one.
              This is true and indisputable. However, when I was looking forward to my AL activities (in the past), I was thinking of the sunshine, wind blowing in my hair, riding on the boat, laughing with my pals and sipping some nice icy cocktail. I'm not an ANTI-social person, and I have no problems striking up conversations, but I don't crave being with a group of people for an afternoon or any extended period of time, sober. LOL That's where thoughts of parties and group activities I used to enjoy come to mind (no fun anymore).


              "I like people too much or not at all."               Sylvia Plath

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                #8
                Tee-totalers are boring losers!

                You are still in the frame of mind that alcohol is something wonderful, that it enhances your life, makes everything better, makes every occasion more fun and enjoyable, you are selectively remembering the good times you had with alcohol, but you are not remembering the hangover afterwards, the things you said that made you cringe, the sick tummy, the embarrassing behaviour, the fact that it was always so good before it went very very bad.

                You still see alcohol with rose coloured specs, like we did, it takes time to see it as the poison it really is.

                There is fun to be had sober, lots of it, you just need to remember that you don't need the contents of a glass to make a night interesting and fun, you have those things inside you already.
                "It's not your job to like me, it's mine!"

                AF 10th May 2010
                NF 12th May 2010

                Comment

                  #9
                  Tee-totalers are boring losers!

                  one2many;1328472 wrote: Drunk people are the most boring, self indulgent, self pitying, uninteresting, monotonous, tiresome, irksome people I have ever come across, I should know, I used to be one.
                  one2many;1328480 wrote:                   You are still in the frame of mind that alcohol is something wonderful, that it enhances your life, makes everything better, makes every occasion more fun and enjoyable, you are selectively remembering the good times you had with alcohol, but you are not remembering the hangover afterwards, the things you said that made you cringe, the sick tummy, the embarrassing behaviour, the fact that it was always so good before it went very very bad.

                  You still see alcohol with rose coloured specs, like we did, it takes time to see it as the poison it really is.

                  There is fun to be had sober, lots of it, you just need to remember that you don't need the contents of a glass to make a night interesting and fun, you have those things inside you already.
                  I completely agree with Oney! (no Surprise :H:H)

                  You know....if it were true that Alcohol Enhances Our Lives, we would not be here! I Truly LOVE My Life Without Alcohol!

                  Just one last thought, this is why we must work on Changing Our Lives and Our Thinking in order to live long term without alcohol. NO Pill can do this. This is where the Real Work of Sobriety lies!
                  A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes~Cinderella

                  AF 12/6/2007

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Tee-totalers are boring losers!

                    I Used To Feel That Way, Too, LibraryGirl, But Not Anymore

                    Drunk people are the most boring, self indulgent, self pitying, uninteresting, monotonous, tiresome, irksome people I have ever come across, I should know, I used to be one.
                    Brilliantly said, Oney. I am going to add that drunk people repeat themselves 4 or 5 times in a conversation. It's always driven me crazy, way before AL ever got to be a habit for me.

                    LG, as far as having a drink in your hand whilst sitting by the pool or at the beach, well, I have a pool and live near the beach, and NO ONE (women) drinks while they are out in the sun, except for adolescent-acting men. I asked a woman with this great bod one day how she keeps her shape and she said she doesn't drink and she loves to exercise. No wonder she looks fabulous in a swim suit. And she's close to my age, too (51).

                    I am kind of the "class clown" on our Monthly ABs Thread, and I have been told that I have a great sense of humor. Well, I don't post when I'm drunk so for me, that is affirmation that I am still just as funny as I used to be when I was drinking (at moderate levels. When I was drunk, I was ALL of the things Oney mentioned in her first post). I also travel all over the world, and in meeting with clients, I have conducted a poll and asked each of them if they drink AL. Many of them who are in their 40s, 50s, and 60s, don't drink at all or never did, and they are hysterically funny. I asked them why they quit and they simply said, "it wasn't fun anymore," "I thought I was cool, and I knew I wasn't, so I quit" etc.

                    When I was feeling the way you do, I would Google "Celebrity Teetotalers." Among them is Elizabeth Hasselbeck from "The View." She's had 3 kids and she's a model and she doesn't drink. Think of all the parties she goes to. If someone said, "You can have a bod like Elizabeth Hasselbeck, and all her money too, as long as you don't drink," hell, I would have given up the booze in a heartbeat.:H

                    If people don't want to be around you because you're not drinking, well then guess what? They have just devalued your friendship. That's the ONLY reason that makes you attractive or interesting? How sad.

                    You sound lovely in your posts. I am sure you are even lovelier in person. You are doing so well AF....keep it up.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Tee-totalers are boring losers!

                      LG-

                      This was posted by MWO Member Not Tonight in October, 2010. NT was responding to a member who was having thoughts similar to yours. NT had been AF for 6 mths. This helped me. This might help you, too:

                      Getting past the deprivation mentality is a big hurdle, but defiantly achievable. First, when that
                      question "Why shouldn't I have a drink?" pops into your head get on MWO and ask others why you
                      shouldn't. I have found that when I am feeling tempted, just putting the triggers down in writing and then
                      posting them for others to read helps to calm the cravings, and then of course there is all the valuable
                      advice everyone in this forum so generously provide, that helps put the desire to drink "back in the bottle".
                      Another means of dealing with the deprivation blues is to find a new activity, hobby whatever to fill your
                      new found time. Even if it's as simple as reading that book you have had on your bedside table for ever,
                      crack it open. These are things that you can do because you are sober. This is a way to give back to
                      yourself. Drinking soaks up so much of our time without giving us anything productive in return. We feel
                      sooo much better in ourselves when we are improving ourselves.
                      Take it one day at a time and before you know it you will be so grateful for the quality of life that sobriety
                      provides, you will not feel deprived by it any longer.

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Tee-totalers are boring losers!

                        Thanks Rusty. As for Elizabeth Hasselbeck, I'm not a fan, lol. She does look good, however I wouldn't trade with her for love or money.

                        I'm not THAT newly sober guys. I have learned to enjoy myself for the most part, and I do remember quite well the hangovers and all the stupid shit that came along with drunkenness. But, you can even look no further than this board to see people who still haven't given up AL (and don't plan to) because they see some positive aspect to it. Frankly, I don't want to go back (to AL), and I guess I just have to face the fact that the things I enjoyed while drinking are not things I would naturally enjoy. We'll see as time goes by.


                        "I like people too much or not at all."                         Sylvia Plath

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                          #13
                          Tee-totalers are boring losers!

                          To paraphrase Jason Vale: Have you ever had a really shitty or boring time when drinking? Was it the drinking that made it boring or was it the situation? Likewise you can have a really shitty, boring time sober or you can have a hilarious, fun night sober. The booze doesn't create the good time, it's the situation.

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Tee-totalers are boring losers!

                            Thanks to all for the suggestions. Sometimes re-training the brain just takes time, I guess...and keeping those "rose-coloured specs" OFF. Plus I plan to implement more "talking back" to ads & media spots which glorify the liquor industry. F
                            . "It is only with the heart that one can see clearly; that which is essential, is invisible to the eye.". Antoine de Saint-Exupery

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Tee-totalers are boring losers!

                              Hey LG,

                              I was just kidding about trading with E. Hasselbeck. I'm glad your'e doing so well.

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