Army Thread 4th June
Hello Troopers!!
Just back from a very long walk around parts of our town that I've never seen before. I quite enjoyed myself.
Warning!! This is a long multi-post. Sorry, but I wanted to share a couple of things with Molly that might help her deal with grumpy Joe.
Molly, I know what you mean, Mr. Stirly can be a very moody person as well. In fact we had a "disagreement" on Saturday just as we got to Athens, started by him speaking to me in a manner I will not tolerate, all because I wasn't placing the sun-reflector on the inside of the front windshield of the car in the way he wanted it done.. So I got out of the car and walked across the street, not waiting for him. His reaction - Are you all by yourself then? Go on, go off by yourself like you always do. (Which I don't, he knew he'd pissed me off and did what he always does, turn the blame to me and act the victim. So I went off by myself, treated myself to my favourite burger at McDonald's and continued to thoroughly enjoy my day having mentally told him to fuck off the second we parted. And I decided to take public transport back home even tho' it's a pain in the arse rather than ride home with Mr. Grumpy. Finally at 3pm, he called me on my cell phone to ask where I was. Obviously, he was waiting for me to go back to the car to return home together. I calmly told him I was on the subway on my way home and hung up on him. I got our lunch ready and ate it then retired to the spare bedroom and started a book I'd been wanting to read for ages. Enjoyed that too. Then went for a walk, which I enjoyed as well. Sunday morning I got up at the usual time that we do and got ready to take the dog for a walk as we do every Sat. and Sun. morning. He suddenly got up, got dressed and left to go for a walk by himself then later went for a coffee by himself. I didn't say a word to him all day Sunday, just did things around the house that I like to do, like reading and a bit of television and posting at MWO. Skyped with my Mom and we had a good old laugh, (I'm sure that annoyed him, he was still being sulky) and then went for another long, lovely walk. Today he returned from work, and greeted the dog and then started talking about a programme he'd seen on TV about this guy that helps people with problem dogs. I thought he was talking to Freddie and was kind of ignoring him until I turned and realized he was talking to me.:H Morale of the story: turn the tables on him and don't let him get under your skin. Don't let his grumpiness upset you and tell him to fuck off mentally as many times as you need to til you get it right. Then do things that you enjoy and forget all about him. Misery loves company so don't give him any. And a :huggy to you, too.
You do change with AL and not for the better. I'm glad you now see what we've been seeing for some time now. Said with :h. Lots of it.
Hope you enjoyed your walk.
Hiya ExPatty!! Almost missed you there.
)
Hello Troopers!!
Just back from a very long walk around parts of our town that I've never seen before. I quite enjoyed myself.
Warning!! This is a long multi-post. Sorry, but I wanted to share a couple of things with Molly that might help her deal with grumpy Joe.
Recluse;1328905 wrote: I'm fine thanks molly, but still failing. Bought whisky on Sat night and woke up this morning. I have no recollection of yesterday whatsoever. Mind you, with all this royal stuff maybe that's not a bad thing. Trying to psych myself up for a major effort to tackle the booze as anything less is doomed to failure.
Hope your hubby's mood improves soon. It must be very demoralising for you to share a house with someone in a grumpy mood like that. Try and do the best you can to ignore it.Reccie, losing a day is not good. I've lost lots of nights, but never a whole day. You gotta stop poisoning yerself PandaMan. I've posted myself and have seen others post about the process of having a drink. There are about 10 steps you go through when you decide to go out and buy AL before you actually take that first drink. And you can stop yourself at any point. And for those of us who always have AL in the house due to other family members, the same thing applies. From the minute you pick up the bottle til you take the first sip, there are five movements you make that you could stop at any time. Put the beer back in the fridge, put the glass back in the cupboard and even if you've already poured the first drink, you can pour it down the sink. At each step, ask yourself if what you're doing is what you truly want to do. If it is, carry on. If it isn't, then reverse it and go do something else. Make yourself some comfort food, go for a walk, crack open a good book, watch a movie. Anything to get over the urges. Or come and post here and tell us how you're feeling. We're always here for you. :huggy
mollyka;1328914 wrote:
Yes Joe's moods are hard to take, and demoralising it is - just have to try and realize it's his problem - not mine ---- like with lots of things however, easier said than done Many wise words from peeps here tho and I'm feeling a lot better!
Hope your hubby's mood improves soon. It must be very demoralising for you to share a house with someone in a grumpy mood like that. Try and do the best you can to ignore it.Reccie, losing a day is not good. I've lost lots of nights, but never a whole day. You gotta stop poisoning yerself PandaMan. I've posted myself and have seen others post about the process of having a drink. There are about 10 steps you go through when you decide to go out and buy AL before you actually take that first drink. And you can stop yourself at any point. And for those of us who always have AL in the house due to other family members, the same thing applies. From the minute you pick up the bottle til you take the first sip, there are five movements you make that you could stop at any time. Put the beer back in the fridge, put the glass back in the cupboard and even if you've already poured the first drink, you can pour it down the sink. At each step, ask yourself if what you're doing is what you truly want to do. If it is, carry on. If it isn't, then reverse it and go do something else. Make yourself some comfort food, go for a walk, crack open a good book, watch a movie. Anything to get over the urges. Or come and post here and tell us how you're feeling. We're always here for you. :huggy
mollyka;1328914 wrote:
Yes Joe's moods are hard to take, and demoralising it is - just have to try and realize it's his problem - not mine ---- like with lots of things however, easier said than done Many wise words from peeps here tho and I'm feeling a lot better!
startingover;1328943 wrote: Nope, I have really been feeling a bit shitey lately, not that anything is bad, but I feel kind of unbalanced and like something is missing.Starty, I hope you can figure out what it is that's got you feeling that way and deal with it.
Now that really made me laugh.:H
Zenstyle;1328962 wrote: I'm fine Starty. Pulling myself out of the quagmire again!) With a different mindset this time. I've truly accepted the fact that I'm an addict and I'll never be able to drink socially like the rest of my friends and acquaintances so I've let go of the dream. Had a good hard look at myself, wasn't pleased with what I saw, and realized just how much AL alters my personality for the worse and how it sucks the very essence of myself out of me and leaves me a shell of myself. That's where I'm at right now in a nutshell!
Zenstyle;1328947 wrote: Hewwo! Orf to read back...I was wondering if you'd show up. How is ya?
Ah, yes. Zen's got a good idea Molly, especially if you're not the type who usually does that. Might just make him take a step back and look at things.
mollyka;1328959 wrote: OH FFS ----- I achully had to read back to find out why you were telling me it was morning ---- oh latherin heart --- I really did
mollyka;1328949 wrote: I sometimes feel like that - dunno if it's 'normal' to just feel it and let it pass? Don't let it build tho - could warrant an oul chat with the doc. maybe? Anyway -- I do think (for me anyway) the chit-chat on here can lift my mood sometimes even when it's husband bashing or recipes
Wish I could give ya a real life hug Starty - don't know what else to say really
Evenin Zenners!Yes, coming here and talking helps. Even coming here and not talking helps me sometimes if I see that someone else has a problem that makes my blahs seem small in comparison. Or I might see something that makes me laugh and then I forget about the shite.
Well, lots of hugs to you, then and come by the barracks more often. Maybe that's what's been missing. The support and the banter here.
Zenstyle;1328957 wrote: Joe sounds like he's being a right fecker Mollers. Would it do you any good to blast him? Sometimes shouting your head off at them for their moodiness shocks them out of it...
Edit: I don't mean "men"... I mean moody feckers in general...
Wish I could give ya a real life hug Starty - don't know what else to say reallyEvenin Zenners!Yes, coming here and talking helps. Even coming here and not talking helps me sometimes if I see that someone else has a problem that makes my blahs seem small in comparison. Or I might see something that makes me laugh and then I forget about the shite.
startingover;1328952 wrote: No, dont need a doc, its all in the mind set and using the tools we all have to get back on track rather than letting stuff drift.
The chit chat is what I need too, I had forgotten what a help it is. Well I hadnt forgotten, but I have just not had or made the time for it.
Virtual hugs are good too
The chit chat is what I need too, I had forgotten what a help it is. Well I hadnt forgotten, but I have just not had or made the time for it.
Virtual hugs are good too
Zenstyle;1328957 wrote: Joe sounds like he's being a right fecker Mollers. Would it do you any good to blast him? Sometimes shouting your head off at them for their moodiness shocks them out of it...
Edit: I don't mean "men"... I mean moody feckers in general...
mollyka;1328959 wrote: OH FFS ----- I achully had to read back to find out why you were telling me it was morning ---- oh latherin heart --- I really did
Zenstyle;1328962 wrote: I'm fine Starty. Pulling myself out of the quagmire again!
) With a different mindset this time. I've truly accepted the fact that I'm an addict and I'll never be able to drink socially like the rest of my friends and acquaintances so I've let go of the dream. Had a good hard look at myself, wasn't pleased with what I saw, and realized just how much AL alters my personality for the worse and how it sucks the very essence of myself out of me and leaves me a shell of myself. That's where I'm at right now in a nutshell!
Zenstyle;1328966 wrote: Well, if it was me, I'd wait till Joey was out and I'd give him a good dressing down. It will make him very uncomfortable and it's like the Pavlov's Dawg thing... he'll associate his moods with it... Yep, that's what I'd do to. Tell him that his bad moods set you off and that you know he knows it and that you won't tolerate it anymore. I did something like that with Mr. Stirly quite a number of years ago and it worked. He had a very bad habit of talking to me in a derogatory way. Mind you my drinking was part of the problem but I realized it much later. I finally got really pissed off and told him that at my age I wouldn't tolerate that kind of treatment from anyone whether it was from my husband or someone else and if it continued, then I would not work with him any longer. Oh, and I banged my fist on the counter when I said it. And I was yelling as well. He was a bit shocked and shut up. The next time he started in I quietly reminded him of what I had said a few days earlier. I told him that I meant what I had said and that the next time he did it would be my last day in the store. His manner changed overnight and that was the end of it. Maybe you need to try something like that with Joe. Be assertive and stand up for yourself. You are not trying to cause a disruption, you are defending your sobriety since his moods affect you so much.
I did that too, both of them. And yuck was my reaction to the ironing. Hate it with a passion. Mr. Stirly now has 23 polo tops and summer tops to choose from.
startingover;1328981 wrote: I shall go dogging then
Zenstyle;1328970 wrote: I was so sick at the mess of everything that there was no room for sadness Mollers. I've calmed down now... and it's well... just acceptance.
I was there yesterday drinking my diet coke (I came up with a stellar reason! Told them I had a hangover! hahaha!!!) chatting away, playing pool, and you know what... it was no better or worse than doing the same thing with a drink in my hand. So, really, what am I missing out on? A hangover? Feeling disconnected and discombobulated the next morning? I think it's going to be a win-win situation as my body will be very thankful if it doesn't have to process the poison.Good to hear you saying that Zenners. You really have taken some giant steps in the right direction over the past few days.
mollyka;1328980 wrote: OK - finally decided to do SUMMAT today --- gonna iron and make dinner - yuck - back laters x
I was there yesterday drinking my diet coke (I came up with a stellar reason! Told them I had a hangover! hahaha!!!) chatting away, playing pool, and you know what... it was no better or worse than doing the same thing with a drink in my hand. So, really, what am I missing out on? A hangover? Feeling disconnected and discombobulated the next morning? I think it's going to be a win-win situation as my body will be very thankful if it doesn't have to process the poison.Good to hear you saying that Zenners. You really have taken some giant steps in the right direction over the past few days.
mollyka;1328980 wrote: OK - finally decided to do SUMMAT today --- gonna iron and make dinner - yuck - back laters x
startingover;1328981 wrote: I shall go dogging then
Hiya ExPatty!! Almost missed you there.
)
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