Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Why do I not want it enough???

Collapse
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 4
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous 1 2 3 4 template Next
    #46
    Why do I not want it enough???

    Cinders, what an ordeal. But, the body is amazing and now that you've been forced to have this kind of "bottom" you will now go on to have a much better life. The decision's been made for you. Thanks for posting your story.

    K9, thanks sweetie. You are a rock for so many here, including me. I always count on you whether you're aware of it or not. :lilheart:

    Comment

      #47
      Why do I not want it enough???

      Cinders thank you so much for sharing that and may I just say that those medical people should be ashamed of themselves. Having grown up in a medical family I found some of them to be the cruelest most dispassionate people on the planet.

      Not all mind you. I also found others who blew me away with their generosity, warmth and real smarts! I was lucky my mom was one of them.

      Thinking of you, darlin '
      :l
      On My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
      *If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
      https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html tool box
      https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html newbie nest

      Comment

        #48
        Why do I not want it enough???

        Bris, hope you are doing well on your day 3. The way I changed my thoughts was not so delicate. When I got thoughts of how nice it would be...I call that going down the rabbit hole. Once you get those thoughts and 'see' yourself enjoying/laughing/carefree...it's hard to stop that process until you are doing it. I did this for over a year and something had to change. It was my thinking. So whenever I got a drinking thought, I would change the subject on myself immediately...distraction! I would try and name the 7 Dwarfs or Dwarves....google whether it's dwarfs or dwarves! Recite the Pledge of Alleigience, say the Lord's Prayer, try to name the states...but anything to get my head out of that rabbit hole!!! It works! When you feel your head going there, stop yourself and say, NO, HELL NO!! You will NOT take me down that hell hole again! I also bought some suckers to get my mind off a craving/thought. Charms Blow Pops, they are sugary sweet suckers with bubble gum in the middle...they keep your mouth happy and distract you for about 10 minutes and that's all you need! Besides, what's one glass of wine going to do for us anyway??? Move on!!! Forward thinking...anything but what will cause you to fail. Fast forward thru it and imagine that you have ridden it out and it's tomorrow morning...and how proud of yourself you are! And how proud WE are that you did it!!
        Distraction, distraction, distraction!!! You can do it! Byrdie
        All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
        Tool Box
        Newbie's Nest

        Comment

          #49
          Why do I not want it enough???

          Great post Byrdie. Hell hole rabbit hole. I'm already thinking about missing good times with friends. Arghh. It's such a pattern to break. Might have to get some of those candies for awhile.
          Psalms 119:45


          ?Start by doing what is necessary, then what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.?

          St. Francis of Assisi



          I'm not perfect, never will be, but better than I was and not as good as I'm going to be.

          :rays:

          Comment

            #50
            Why do I not want it enough???

            Give them a try Ring! They also hush up loud and crying children. I never travel without them. You can't help but think about the sucker, it is sweet! And then the bubble gum in the middle gives you a little challenge, then you must deal with the stick...it's just enough distraction to be wonderfully effective!!
            All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
            Tool Box
            Newbie's Nest

            Comment

              #51
              Why do I not want it enough???

              Great method Bird!

              Comment

                #52
                Why do I not want it enough???

                such a moving post, and i can relate to it all

                may we all find a way to beat the demon drink

                amen

                Comment

                  #53
                  Why do I not want it enough???

                  Byrdie, the sucker is a good idea. I like tootsie pops. Chocolate is delicious and a choco tootsie roll in the center. Only 60 cals a pop! I want to get the caramel ones soon. They are only for a limited time! Peppermint pops at crimbo time with choco tootsie in the middle.


                  "I like people too much or not at all."                   Sylvia Plath

                  Comment

                    #54
                    Why do I not want it enough???

                    Cinders....Wow..I am so sorry that you had to go through something like that......that must've been sooooooo scary! Kradle is right...that medical staff should be ashamed to make you feel like that...as if you weren't going through enough already!!!!! I am glad that you are on the road to feeling better. Thanks for sharing your story...it has helped me in more ways than you could imagine!
                    AB Club Member
                    AB Start Date - 7/25/12

                    10 Months AF - 5/24/13 :yay:


                    :heart:I would rather be addicted to my horses than alcohol:heart:

                    Comment

                      #55
                      Why do I not want it enough???

                      Thank you for sharing your story with us Cinders - please keep us posted on how you are doing.


                      This whole alcohol thing is crazy...I drank again on the weekend and regret it immensely. How can you do something - drink or make the decision to drink - and then once you'd had a few wish that you didn't? Feel ashamed, regret, guilt...it's not even enjoyable anymore.

                      Since I feel so guilty I am thinking "well, whatever, you f&ked up, might as well drink the rest of the bottle today and start tomorrow"...
                      I don't want to do that.

                      I am quite sensitive today, sad, not feeling well...putting myself down...all morning so far. Day 1 again...the appointment with the counsellor can't come soon enough.
                      At least I am not taking this as an opportunity to go on a bender like I have done in the past. I love being sober. Last week was rather nice without the boozing. It wasn't even on my mind that often and now that I am back at square 1 - day 1, that's all I can think of...
                      I just need to not pick up that first one.
                      So very frustrating.

                      I know I keep letting myself down...and I know that I need to adopt a different way of thinking...be more gentle with myself.
                      I always think of avoiding MWO after I drink but if I do then I know I will drink again...
                      So I am going to stay close to the forums today...keep myself as busy as I can. I also hate Monday's and am feeling lonely so that bottle speaks to me like a long lost love that will embrace me in it's warmth...using such clever words.

                      Comment

                        #56
                        Why do I not want it enough???

                        Hey Briseus - good for you for sticking around the forum today. I do the same thing when I've been drinking - I distance myself from here. I have stopped doing that & my 'benders' are much shorter. A day or 2 instead of a week or 2.
                        Sounds like you are doing well and know what you want. :l
                        "Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.".....Carol Burnett
                        ..........
                        AF - 7-27-15

                        Comment

                          #57
                          Why do I not want it enough???

                          Thanks so much Nora.
                          It is true...regardless of feeling ashamed or guilt and have people (possible) be disappointed in you I gotta keep coming back because if I don't then I know I will drink.

                          It's tricky sometimes though. I am home alone. Bottle of wine in the fridge...on social networks where everyone is talking about patio beers on this hot day. Ugh.
                          Tricky tricky.

                          Comment

                            #58
                            Why do I not want it enough???

                            Oh goodness. ( I drank.

                            I was having a really tough day. I was beating myself up all day about drinking, feeling lonely, depressed and sorry for myself...and then the stupid voice...as I said earlier "oh well, you screwed up...have a drink to feel better". Do I feel better? Yes. Is it only temporary? Of course it is! Am I going to feel like shit tomorrow? Oh yea...and I will beat myself up all over again.
                            I guess I don't have to keep on going. I only had one glass...it doesn't have to be five.

                            I am so lost guys! I don't know why I keep doing this? Is it partially because I sit at home all day with nothing to do?
                            Pity party time for me!
                            Just really love coming here and venting...since I can't do it anywhere else at all.

                            Comment

                            Previous 1 2 3 4 template Next
                            Working...
                            X