What was your AHA Moment?

[LibraryGirl]

I just replied in this thread https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...ugh-65163.html about my epiphany regarding quitting AL, and once again I wondered, wouldn't it be nice to see the first posts of some of the "oldies" on here? I have tried, but most are lost due to space, I guess. So, if you care to share, tell us about your "AHa Moment".

[K9Lover]

What was your AHA Moment?

Mine was probably my description of my last hangover day....it's on the thread you referenced. It should have been plenty of other things, but I remember that day clearly.

[Byrdlady]

What was your AHA Moment?

Mine was Jan 20, 2011. My husband had left me the night before and returned to get more clothes on this morning. He sat across from me and told me he was out of this nightmare. I could do it to myself, but he wasn't going to participate any more. 25 years we have been together and it came down to this. Him or AL. I promised him I would try, and he said, he didn't think I could do it...it had gone too far, that he thought I needed to go to rehab. He asked me to be thinking how I wanted to split our assests and took some more clothes and left. That was the day that I HAD to get serious about getting AL out of my life once and for all. For that past year I tried moderating and I never drank harder. I had to quit, and that was the day I started. That was my moment.

[SAUSAGE]

What was your AHA Moment?

My 7 year old daughter said to me on 23rd Feb 2012, " mummy , why do you always drink wine every evening?" I thought to myself, she actually notices this at 7, this is really worrying, what does she think of me/ know / understand. I can't have this,I'll have to start putting the wine into mugs so my kids don't realise what I am drinking!
Then I thought, I can't believe I've just thought that, this is terrible,I have to stop.....
That was 104 days ago.
Today I am 103 days AF.

[daisy45]

What was your AHA Moment?

I'm afraid I ignored many, many of those aha moments and let them build and build. As they did so the self-hatred and disgust multiplied to an extent that I just had to find the real me to help myself out of the filthy mess I had created.
Until...I was taken advantage of by someone I know and put in a position where no-one could ever know. The fear of speaking under the influence of alcohol frightened me into action. That is the nearest I have ever come to speaking about what happened to me......

[LibraryGirl]

What was your AHA Moment?

:l Daisy. AL can have such dire consequences sometimes. Something we started doing all with the intent of a "good time". I too ignored all the warnings for so long. Thank god, I finally found MWO.

[mama bear]

What was your AHA Moment?

Oh daisy..I am sorry love
I had so many aha moments that I too ignored.
I swore off booze every time....but this time I think it's for good
I don't even miss it anymore....let' s hope that lasts.
AL is poison and I almost lost my family over it

[scottishman]

What was your AHA Moment?

when she said she was pregnant, i knew it had gotten out of hand

[aihflvt]

What was your AHA Moment?

I have had so many "aha" moments, yet I chose to ignore them. The worst was, when blind, falling-down drunk, I picked a fight with another cruise ship passenger and nearly ended up in the ship's brig.

Another memorable low included waking up behind the wheel of my pickup truck, vomit everywhere.

As bad as these were, unbelievably, they did not convince me of the necessity of going AF. What finally did, due to some ugly family drama, I went on about a week long bender that necessitated taking some sick days. In the past, when my wife told me I was an alcoholic, I laughed at her. Alcoholics were people who were drunk 24/7 and couldn't hold down a job. And I finally saw that I was nearly there.

I went AF for a couple of months and decided I was sufficiently dried out enough to moderate. WRONG-O! I went on the worst bender of my life. I love that warm glow that comes from alcohol. I like it too much. That's why they call it addiction, I guess, and that's why AF is the only option for me. Also, I should mention I experienced some serious kindling associated with that last detox. Next time could be full on DTs and hospitalization.

[aspman]

What was your AHA Moment?

I have two moments.

I have worked for the same company in a few rolls for 18yrs now. I was working on the steriliser, which is a large gas chamber that we use to ensure our customers that our product is safe to use and free from micro organisms. It was an unusual day as one piece of equipment was playing up, I have such bad short term memory loss that due to the break in routine caused by the faulty equipment, I forgot to seal all 6 of the handles to the gas chamber. I had to abort the run and start again as the gas is highly toxic, and explodes in the presence of oxygen. This event was my first moment of clarity.

Our son was born and I found him to be the sweetest finest thing I had ever had a hand in. I made a commitment to myself and my family when I noticed my 5month old son in the very first instances of copying my actions (Sitting on dads lap at the PC trying to type like dad, and horror of horrors, gulping his bottle and sighing after a mouthful, just like dad with a beer.) This event was my second moment of clarity.
I am approaching 1000days sober now.

[Wildflowers]

What was your AHA Moment?

Another really good thread. Very powerful, even tho it took such pain & loss to get there. I hope others will chime in.

It's so valuable to share with such honesty. It will help others make it to the other side. That they too can have that AHA Moment ~ Time of Clarity.

Daisy, Maybe with time, healing will come, those fears will lessen. Allowing you to feel safe enough to trust someone, telling the truth of what happened to you. Setting you free :l

[starfairy]

What was your AHA Moment?

just as many others i have had too many ignored ahha moments... but my final was the DWI and my husband having to bring my 2 little daughters with him wrapped in blankets up to jail to bail mommy out. i will never get that image out of my head. looking through that glass and knowing i had really really fucked up this time.

[FlyAway]

What was your AHA Moment?

starfairy;1330581 wrote: just as many others i have had too many ignored ahha moments... but my final was the DWI and my husband having to bring my 2 little daughters with him wrapped in blankets up to jail to bail mommy out. i will never get that image out of my head. looking through that glass and knowing i had really really fucked up this time.

Oh Star, that sounds really rough. :l

[choice]

What was your AHA Moment?

There are so many times that should have been AHA moments but I was in denial. It actually wasn't until I found MWO and saw that there were so many people like me. I didn't feel alone anymore and loved the permission and support not to drink. That's when I really found out that I was addicted. When I found it really, really, really hard to quit and all the mind games I played with myself during that time. spooky. It scared the crap out of me... and I was also worried that I was going to ruin another relationship... I was kinda scared I couldn't take care of myself. I was running out of options fast. Time had run out and I knew if I didn't stop with what little strength I had... I wouldn't be able to. I was so scared I couldn't quit... so I quit if that makes since. It actually was just another day with a hangover.. nothing special... I'd just had enough.

[Wildflowers]

What was your AHA Moment?

choice;1330782 wrote: There are so many times that should have been AHA moments but I was in denial. It actually wasn't until I found MWO and saw that there were so many people like me. I didn't feel alone anymore and loved the permission and support not to drink. That's when I really found out that I was addicted. When I found it really, really, really hard to quit and all the mind games I played with myself during that time. spooky. It scared the crap out of me... and I was also worried that I was going to ruin another relationship... I was kinda scared I couldn't take care of myself. I was running out of options fast. Time had run out and I knew if I didn't stop with what little strength I had... I wouldn't be able to. I was so scared I couldn't quit... so I quit if that makes since. It actually was just another day with a hangover.. nothing special... I'd just had enough.

I guess for myself I just don't get why I've lived in denial for so long, but then I do. It's an oxymoron. The part you wrote that struck me hard inside, even had some tears over is, this. " I was kinda scared I couldn't take care of myself. I was running out of options fast. Time had run out and I knew if I didn't stop with what little strength I had... I wouldn't be able to. I was so scared I quit...." This is just how I feel. I knew I was scared, really scared with my last experiment in May. Thanks for putting it into words. I pray I'm done, cause if I'm not, it won't be long & It will be my own damn fault!

I wanted to add, that my research & experiment in May was nothing to awful! However, it reminded me of my drinking history & I had a moment of clarity the next day & saw where I was headed. I knew I was headed to hell!.... I had already visited that place many~many times. Because of so many~many visits, it has been destructive to my physical, emotional, mental & spiritual health. Thank God, I had a huge desire to quickly begin recovery again, accept that I'm an alcoholic & not be ashamed of it, have recovery tools, this place, other places if needed or desired, a supportive family, an HP (whom I call God). This is another one of my AHA Moments. It just has to stick this time!....