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    #1

    feeling sad tonight

    i had my last mandatory counseling class tonight for the DWI. 20 hours (14 classes). after you complete these you can choose to go to a contiuing care if you'd like (for free). i think i may go. i feel sad that they are over. i mean i am happy that i am no longer obligated to spend time at these and shell out money i don't have but it was just nice to be around others in your situation. most of them just went because they had to and had no plan to stay sober just not drink and drive but the whole time i was in the classes i knew that i personally planned on getting something out of them. i have very little people in my life that know my situation. i liked letting my guard down. i feel weepy. i feel nervous to start the contiuning care...my next step. i have court again next week, i could be convicted next week which would be another next step. anxious, scared and sad. going to go wash my beautiful childrens' hair and then off to bed. tomorrow is a whole new day. thanks for listening
    I must suppress the beast within so I can find my way out of the darkness.
    sober since 2/4/12
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    #2
    feeling sad tonight

    starfairy, when I went to my mandatory classes 12 years ago, I was only there out of obligation. It cost $500.00 even way back then. I remember some of what was taught, and I was an enthusiastic student. Not because I planned on quitting, but just because I like to prove I can do well in any schooling situation, lol. How silly now that I look back on it. I remember one reference she made to a sink...if you keep the tap running on high even with the drain open, it will eventually overflow because there is too much going in to absorb it all...

    Oh, and when the volunteer teacher came in the class on that first night, I realized she worked at the same school as I do.:upset: We didn't see each other often at work, and as far as I know, nothing was ever mentioned.


    "I like people too much or not at all."     Sylvia Plath

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      #3
      feeling sad tonight

      II hope you feel better star
      I love my family more than alcohol.:h
      Live in the Solution....not the problem

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        #4
        feeling sad tonight

        Star, would AA be a possibility for you? It would put you with others who "get it." I went to a few and it helped somewhat, but I stopped going. I'm just too private a person, but you might give it a shot??......

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          #5
          feeling sad tonight

          Hi Star:
          I am so sorry you are sad tonight. I do not know your age or your circumstances but you made me think of somehing I havent thougt of in a many many years. In 1995 I went to a Christmas party, had one 2 many and ended up with more Christmas lights than I bargained for. To be honest I wasn't that drunk. But My vision i sn' that great and it was very bad weather, dark and I was new in the area. Of course none of that mattetr as it shouldnt and the DUI landed me in Rehab instead of Jail. Like LB Even though I was mortified at first I soon realised that , yes, there was a problem there.
          I attended AA for a while after completeling the program and remained sober for quite some time. I really don't remember why I stared drinking again.

          It seems a life time ago.
          Fast forward my life to 2012 and subtract 1995 and that equals 17. 17 years i simply went to sleep at the wheel. 17 years of missing all those ah ah moments people tell of so eleoquently in the other thread. 17 years and thousnads of dollars wrecking my health and..well you get the idea.

          So maybe this your own personal 1995. And you have all the resources of MWO and the program. With Continuing Care and the people here that's great support.
          And this may not be my place but I don't think you will face conviction though court is no fun. They may actually suggest Rehab...It's hard to say without knowing your circumstances. One of my dear freinds is a Judge and she is district court. She handles these cases. She is also recovering. We talk as much as we can. She is always super busy.
          Anyway, Please know I am here thinking of you. Please keep posting so we can know how you are doing.
          :l:l
          On My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
          *If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
          https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html tool box
          https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html newbie nest

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            #6
            feeling sad tonight

            Hi Star!

            I finished my mandatory meetings 12 years ago with a big sigh of relief...it was over! I didn't "get it" then. I was still drinking and only going because I HAD to. I also paid over $1,200 for those meetings that I didn't care about. I think if you feel comfortable in that atmosphere, you should pursue it...like UW said, maybe AA? I've been to a lot of those too (mandatory) and some were OK...I actually even went to a few on my own, just "to see"...Good luck with your court date and let us know how it goes. And never forget how you felt when your beautiful children had to be woken up to get Mommy from jail....that will keep you sober. And do NOT party like it's 1995 (Kradle). LOL

            xoxo
            K9
            :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

            Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

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