One Step at a Time - June 2012

[mama bear]

One Step at a Time - June 2012

Hi Paula...thanks for the info. I ma down from 35 to 12.5mg of Paxil. Think that will be ok with Trazadone?
I just ate and am soooooo sleepy!
may check in later
nice, quiet sober evening for this bear

[briseus]

One Step at a Time - June 2012

I am not sure if I can do that Mollyka...the entire situation is really difficult. He is currently ignoring me because I brought up the issues that I had..he even left work and hasn't come home. Needless to say the dinner is cold and I am sitting here - my face stained with tears that just won't stop.
I didn't know this was going to happen. I think I really need to finally make a decision. My heart always hurts...I am miserable here...I have been sober 2 weeks before and I knew even then what was going on...so I don't know if this is going to work out.
I need to come to the realization that he enables me as well...and that isn't a good thing either...so why invest into this when he doesn't want to talk about it, doesn't come home when dinner is done and he knows I need to talk to him and doesn't even want to try...

[Nelz]

One Step at a Time - June 2012

mama bear;1342032 wrote: Hi Paula...thanks for the info. I ma down from 35 to 12.5mg of Paxil. Think that will be ok with Trazadone?
I just ate and am soooooo sleepy!
may check in later
nice, quiet sober evening for this bear

You have any side effect with the Traz? I know Im not supposed to but I "borrowed" a few from wifey. I feel like I have a hangover when I wake up.

She isnt going to take them, thats why I gave them a try, just curious

[briseus]

One Step at a Time - June 2012

Sorry for my dumb bitching.
I'll leave u all alone.

Hope u all have a lovely sober night.

[K9Lover]

One Step at a Time - June 2012

Oh Bri...I am sorry you're feeling so bad. Read your post...you are MISERABLE...that is no way to live. YOU deserve so much better. Your BF obviously is not concerned about your well-being, or he would support your quitting AL AND get you out of his mother's basement!!! The least he can do is show up for dinner....
You deserve better. Why do you want to build a life with him? I may have missed some of his finer points....
Sorry if I sound harsh, but YOU are worth more than that!!!

[mama bear]

One Step at a Time - June 2012

K9 is right Bri..wish I could scoop you up and hug you
Bitch away....anything to keep you sober and help you figure out what to do
Nelz - I don't have them yet, but I will let you know
hungover is NOT what I need...so I may not take them if they have that effect
Doc said alkies have HIGH tolerance for meds....Ambien and Lunesta don't even phase me.......

[Nelz]

One Step at a Time - June 2012

mama bear;1342060 wrote: K9 is right Bri..wish I could scoop you up and hug you
Bitch away....anything to keep you sober and help you figure out what to do
Nelz - I don't have them yet, but I will let you know
hungover is NOT what I need...so I may not take them if they have that effect
Doc said alkies have HIGH tolerance for meds....Ambien and Lunesta don't even phase me.......

Uhhh yeah, I can vouch for that......I hardly ever take the "prescribed" amount...but DAAAAYYUM nothing from Ambien or Lunesta...that stuff floors me LOL

[Sunbeam]

One Step at a Time - June 2012

Hi all,
Just checking in toward the end of another AF day. My next stop will be to relax in my hot tub on the patio.

Bri, my heart goes out to you. One of my many blessings is a husband for over 30 years.

Mama Bear, has the rain stopped yet? I hope an inch or two blows up our way, it is very dry.

MWO Lady, my husband also drinks, which has made it harder for me because there is always wine in the house. He keeps it in the basement refrigerator, so I don't have to look at it every time I open the door. He drinks reasonably, one 12 oz mug per night with his evening meal. He puts it in a mug so it isn't so obvious he is having wine.

I was happy to drink my normal iced tea while on the patio this afternoon. That's all I wanted. I don't want to drink al;cohol any more. I used to put a nice beverage in a wine glass, substituting for wine. But sine I don't want the wine, I just use a normal red plastic outdoor glass.

Take care, all.

[MWOLady]

One Step at a Time - June 2012

Thanks for the kind words everyone. Funny but tonight I had no problems at all. I never even thought about having a drink - it was effortless. I don't know what the heck was going on yesterday...oh well the old brain was just getting restless I guess. So day one down - on to 30.

I had to laugh about all the tanning stuff. I ruined a brand new oh so fluffy white towel with that stuff. It went on fine, and looked pretty good, but after showering next morning most of it came off on the towel. And it never washed out.

Briseus, sweetie, our hearts go out to you. Actually I'd like my arm to go out to your house so I could slap your boyfriend silly. I can only say this to you because I've been in relationships that were absolutely killing me and I stayed and stayed - hurt me, hurt my kids, caused endless pain and strife, and money troubles, and landlord troubles, and mental health troubles: and I STAYED. Because I was a drunk at the time. I'm NOT saying that's YOU. But honey sometimes we stay because we are not in a good place ourselves and we just can't imagine ourselves anywhere else.

It's hard to get a feel for your age or your financial circumstances and it's none of my business BUT all the symptoms are there of abuse because you are in a weak place right now. And you think this man loves you? NO, love means you want the best for the one you love. Doesn't sound like he feels that way.

I've probably said WAY too much but I'm probably old enough to be your grandmother and if you were my granddaughter I'd tell you to get out no matter if you had to go to a shelter. But you know that it's my heart talking, and you have to make your own decisions. Stay AF if you possibly can so you can do some thinking. And don't worry about coming on here and using us as a sounding board (or bitching!!) it's fine!!

[Kradle123]

One Step at a Time - June 2012

briseus;1342033 wrote: I am not sure if I can do that Mollyka...the entire situation is really difficult. He is currently ignoring me because I brought up the issues that I had..he even left work and hasn't come home. Needless to say the dinner is cold and I am sitting here - my face stained with tears that just won't stop.
I didn't know this was going to happen. I think I really need to finally make a decision. My heart always hurts...I am miserable here...I have been sober 2 weeks before and I knew even then what was going on...so I don't know if this is going to work out.
I need to come to the realization that he enables me as well...and that isn't a good thing either...so why invest into this when he doesn't want to talk about it, doesn't come home when dinner is done and he knows I need to talk to him and doesn't even want to try...

Bri:

Take your time Bri. :h

If you've been there for five years that means you moved in at 21..that's pretty darned young and now your 26- almost formative years but after being on here for some time and reading a ton of posts and being AF I feel ABSOLUTELY certain that once you get a significant amount of AF time under your belt you will find a way to extricate yourself from that 'situation'.
Buddhism has a wonderful concept called Esho Funi or Oneness of Self and environnment The healtheir your get the easier you will find it to ease yourself out of this unhealthy place and create your own healthy, peaceful and valuable place.
You are already on your way. If your BF wants to come and be a positive, adult male influence, great. If not...well, his loss.

Hugs,
:l

[briseus]

One Step at a Time - June 2012

Thanks everyone for allowing me to vent on here.
Why do I stay with him? Because I love him...and the thing is, if it weren't for everyone else getting involved I am sure our relationship would be just fine. I am just doubting that he is feeling the same for me as I am for him. If he would move out with me if I wanted him too...things like that.

I must admit that I did blow up at him...I can't really be blamed...I'm only on day 3 and am feeling a lot of shame and guilt for the past..and am just trying to stay away from the booze and it was around the time that I usually have my 1st/2nd/3rd (all simultaneously no less) of wine...so maybe I was a bit harsh. I still was hurt by what he did (not showing up) but he said he wasn't dealing with the harsh text messages I was sending him.

Still...I just hope that he opens up his eyes and realizes that we need our privacy...we need to get our own place and start building our lives together...
I have told him this...he said he would work on it.

I am not taking the blame at all...I still stand by what I have said to him...but I am a little over dramatic at this stage in my sobriety and I just want to stay sober right now...usually I would be drunk and staying at someone's house...taking shots, drinking wine, etc...the last time I did that we weren't in a good place for a bit. At least we talked it through this time. And I am going to bed sober.

Onto day 4.

Thanks for everyones opinion...words of wisdom...all of it. I am going to remember it. I have some thinking to do - serious thinking - if things don't change.

I luv you all.

xo

[Kradle123]

One Step at a Time - June 2012

Please PM Bri if need be.

The twins are occupied with their twin friends and I of course am hold up in the bedroom with the Dog watching Vogager!

I'm bloody addicted to this show! Beam me up

[A.J.]

One Step at a Time - June 2012

Bri I am so sorry for your situation. If you can stay clear headed for a few days even, you may find the courage you need to make some changes. First and formost when you told him of your concerns about your living arrangments , drinking , and how unhappy you are he deserted you, woha ! big red flag. Hes to comfortable with your arrangements at his moms place and you having AL issues , means he knows he has control. Listen I don't want to preach, but we here don't even know you, and I think we care for you more than he does, just say'n. MWOlady good luck at least your back on track. K9, Mama & Sunbeam You guys rock. God Bless and keep you on point. Till tomorrow.

[briseus]

One Step at a Time - June 2012

Thanks very much for your input AJ.

I know that he cares...I think he also thinks that I am not an alcoholic and don't have a serious problem since I have periods of abstaining...I definitely think he is too comfortable with the arrangements for sure. I have no doubt that he loves me...I just find that others get in the way and he has a hard time of setting boundaries.

I will keep at my sobriety and keep you all posted. Thanks again ((all of you)) for listening. I really appreciate it.

I guess I gotta stop caring so much what other people think of me (for example, his family) and live my life...and he can either join me and we can have a life together or not.

For now though...all I need to focus on is not drinking.

[NoraC]

One Step at a Time - June 2012

Hi Bri - sorry that I wasn't around earlier. Had to take my niece to a friends house. Anyway, looks like you got some good advise.
You are right in saying that you need to worry about yourself. Do what you need. I know that's hard but I have realized that is very important. :l:l You are right that you need to focus on yourself & staying AF than worrying about making everyone else happy.