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One Step at a Time - June 2012

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    #556
    One Step at a Time - June 2012

    Hello everyone, welcome sunbeam. There is no way that I can ever moderate, but my alky brain tries to tell me otherwise, so many times I have gone for long periods, only to try and fool myself that I can have just one or two, the next stage is horror, blackout followed by guilt shame, remorse. I also have hidden bottles, Dest, I try to sneak them in recycle bin just before collection. Good luck with anxiety appt Cindi. I have tried various meds for cravings but have not managed any better with them than just determination and a little prayer and maybe a little willpower, which is how I have got through today. I went shopping and then to hairdresser met a friend who has been sober for years and came home feeling good. Have a good day everyone.
    .

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      #557
      One Step at a Time - June 2012

      YaY Paula...I am so glad you were AF today!!!! Just think how great you will feel in the morning! I got rid of all my "empties" the other day. My pickled brain always would think what would happen if I ever got into an accident and my husband or someone had to go through my stuff and found all my "stashes"...how horrible that would be!!!! I feel some relief having them out of the house. As I was throwing the bag in the dumpster it felt like I was getting rid of some dirty, dark secret. It felt good!
      AB Club Member
      AB Start Date - 7/25/12

      10 Months AF - 5/24/13 :yay:


      :heart:I would rather be addicted to my horses than alcohol:heart:

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        #558
        One Step at a Time - June 2012

        Cinders, I am familiar with your story, and am glad you are with us.
        Nelz and Paula, I think the moderating phase is one that most of us go through. I had never heard that word in conjunction with drinking before I joined here.
        Yup, I often wait until the bin is at the curb before I put in my bottles. I also try to bury them under the other stuff. I'm good at recycling everything, so there is more to put on top!
        My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

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          #559
          One Step at a Time - June 2012

          My goodness Dest, I must look through my cupboards and make sure I don't have any more empties stashed away, if anything happened, I had not thought of that. Sunbeam I only ever heard of modding on here, I really believe that if you have a problem with al, moderation is not an option. My friend who was a regular member of AA said she didn't think if you are a true alcoholic that you could drink at all. Maybe there are varying degrees, but I know I could drink reasonably for a while but eventually I would succumb to a huge binge. Have you read Jason Vale's book about problem drinking.? very interesting.
          .

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            #560
            One Step at a Time - June 2012

            Morning everyone. Or Good day!

            Sunbeam - so glad that you decided to join us. I love the support we have going here.

            Cindi - hope that you get some help with the anxiety. That is such an awful feeling. :l

            I also had to get rid of some empties. Such a load off once those were out of the house. Why do I do that to myself???

            I just want to thank everyone for being here. It really helps to have a place to come to know there are people that care & understand. :l

            Have a wonderful day or evening.
            "Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.".....Carol Burnett
            ..........
            AF - 7-27-15

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              #561
              One Step at a Time - June 2012

              Back from an hour bike ride! The high heat has moved away, it is a perfect day. I stopped at WalMart to pick up a prescription, and bought a couple of plants. My husband thinks I have enough plants, but he's wrong. I will spend part of the afternoon digging out some pulmonaria (lungwort) that have spread too much, and putting in varigated lilirope. It is a nice ground cover for shade, but not too common. It will look great under my bottlebrush buckeye shrub, also very shade (and deer) tolerant.

              Paula I haven't read Jason Vale's book, but some have said it is pretty similar to Easy Way to Stop Drinking, which I did read. That whole line of thinking is helpful to beat down those denial thoughts.
              My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

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                #562
                One Step at a Time - June 2012

                Satz just asked me on another thread whether af is better, and for me it is. We each need to make our own decision on this. I've done lots of time drinking less than I used to, but I too often go over my self imposed limits, and drink more than I know I should. Being af gives much more freedom in my life about my activities. I focus on what I like and want to do instead of when and how much I will drink. My friends who still post under long term moderators are happy with their choice I think, but I'm tired of the struggle. I want to find my own personal peace. I quit posting there maybe a year ago, but I have not been successful at quitting except for a month last year, then I gradually started again. I'm ready, I don't need alcohol any more for socializing. My friends know I've been working on this, and they respect whatever I do. I have many blessings in my life, why should I mess it up with alcohol?
                My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

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                  #563
                  One Step at a Time - June 2012

                  remind me never to be gone frm work for four days again.....
                  I have been too busy to hop on here...
                  NORA....................OMG>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>
                  a tat?????????????
                  that is so freakin cool.....now i want one.....I like the Gaelic idea.....Zen - please give me some ideas
                  one this that really helps me relax lately is classical music....
                  Chopin, Bach, Debussey...I have it on Pandora at work right now....it is so lovely....
                  and sober is way better
                  I just got back from Philly and maybe I should make my pic of The Liberty Bell my avatar.....
                  Liberty, Freedom, you get the idea??????
                  I love my family more than alcohol.:h
                  Live in the Solution....not the problem

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                    #564
                    One Step at a Time - June 2012

                    Didn't manage it today, had a bottle of wine. Day full of stress. I will try tomorrow. xx
                    I must not become sentimental and thinking about the good times. In the end it just takes over my life and I have no other life.

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                      #565
                      One Step at a Time - June 2012

                      yes you will sober......
                      please let us know....
                      k???
                      I love my family more than alcohol.:h
                      Live in the Solution....not the problem

                      Comment

                        #566
                        One Step at a Time - June 2012

                        Hi Mama Bear- Whatever I do , I will try and log in- I need to have people to be accountable to, if that makes sense. Thanks for being un-judgemental. I vow to keep trying however long it takes. xx
                        I must not become sentimental and thinking about the good times. In the end it just takes over my life and I have no other life.

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                          #567
                          One Step at a Time - June 2012

                          Nora I relate to "why do I do this to myself?" That's just where I've been for the past year. Today I got the resolve to post here, and I am grateful.
                          Sober, just don't give up. This is a difficult process. I enjoy reading, and hate that all the characters with alcohol problems are quickly successful in quitting. Life isn't like that, which is why we need the support here.
                          My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

                          Comment

                            #568
                            One Step at a Time - June 2012

                            Hi Mama,glad your back, why do I do this to myself ? self harm/hatred, thats my only explanation for me. My husband says I need to learn to like myself. I wish I could be successful in stopping, but it takes time and lots of support, which we do give to oneanother on here. Sober nobody will judge you on this thread, that is what I love about it, nobody ever says its ok either because we already know that. Just pick yourself up and keep trying like I am and everbody else, and one day we will succeed. Sun I have read so many books on alcoholism, and each one I have gained a little more insight. The most help with my problem I have had on this site, experience is probably the best teacher.
                            .

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                              #569
                              One Step at a Time - June 2012

                              I have been trying to string 30 days together for TWO years, if that makes anyone feel better
                              I love my family more than alcohol.:h
                              Live in the Solution....not the problem

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                                #570
                                One Step at a Time - June 2012

                                It does.
                                .

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