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**One of the reasons I drink...long**

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    #16
    **One of the reasons I drink...long**

    Dori:

    It sounds like you have 3 awesome children!! My husband and I raised 2 foster children who spent the first half of their lives raised by heroine addicts. They will never accomplish in their lifetimes what your children have accomplished in their adolescence. It is so difficult not to worry about our children and to want to try and make things easier for them. But the truth is they have to live their own lives. I think your husband is right. You can't change your son. He is definitely old enough to talk about sexuality. I would approach the subject with him. He probably doesn't know yet but it would be nice for him to have the lines of communication open. I wish I had done a better job of talking with my daughter about sexuality and birth control. She will be 21 in May and has 2 children 19 months apart.

    If he is gay, life is easier for gays today then it ever has been. And look at all of the incredible gay role models. Of course my favorites are comedians, Ellen Dejeneres and David Sedaris.
    Lynn

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      #17
      **One of the reasons I drink...long**

      Communication is Essential

      Dorilynn:

      Communication with your son is essential to both your happiness! Who knows if he is gay anyway? And if he is or if he thinks he may be, I honestly think he may want to speak to someone about it. Without shame and judgment.

      I have seen way too many programs about young people who have confusion with their sexuality. They get so messed up thinking it is wrong, shameful and have fears they won't be accepted. They may start to show signs of abnormal behaviours. Such as alcohol/drug abuse. Self mutilation. Suicide. Please do not be alarmed either. I am simply pointing out facts here. We live in a world now where everything goes! Sometimes kids get so warped because they don't know how to deal with it, or they feel they will be shamed because of it. Hey, if gay people can be married, then I would say we as a society have accepted it.

      I have known many men who are more in touch with their feminine side and are not gay. Men have always been stigmatized to be 'macho'. It use to be all about sports, male bonding, comorodery etc... Times have changed a lot in the last few decades!!! Both females and males now enjoy all types of activities which were once typically gendered specific.

      I have known a lot of gay men in my life. They are the most sensitive, caring, kindest, talented and not to mention the BEST LOOKING men I have ever known!! They came from good 'open' homes and were brought up accepting who they are and were supported without judgement and shame.

      I know many parents don't discuss much of anything with their children because they were brought up in homes of the same or of simple fear of the unknown. I believe it is so important for parents to discuss everything with their children nowadays. There are so many negatives in this big bad world such as pure pressure, sexually transmitted diseases, gangs, violence, drug and alcohol abuse, teen suicide, etc... Life is tough enough. For him to be possibly dealing with something as emotionally confusing justs adds to everything else.

      Open your heart to him and let him speak freely without reservation. You both will feel better. And you never know, he might just like the arts!! You won't know unless you talk about it with him.

      All the best. :l

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