OK.....HAVIN A ROUGH TIME

[Debh]

OK.....HAVIN A ROUGH TIME

Hi Gabby

I know how you feel. My Girlfriend went through a very simlar life, her husdand, tried to turn her 3 kids aganist her, she put up with o much shit, like xhe would kill her and the boys, played mind games, Just abuse.

I thing that she did say and did do was to not to bad mouth there father, as Cheryl would say they would find out for themselves. it was hard on the Kids hearing really bab things about there mother, they would ring me and ask if it was true. Now there father never sent any money to the kids to help, Cheryl went to family court and won the tax his pay, and then he quite his job so he didn't have to pay maint.

This is cutting and long story short. But in the end the kids now know what there dad is like >>>>>>. Cheryl didn't show the kids how it hurt her. Be strong ring up the family court and they can advise you.

Hang in there

Deb

[gabby]

OK.....HAVIN A ROUGH TIME

Thanks you guys for everything you all said. I say to myself "Today is a new day, try not to be sad", yet I still have tears.

Barb, Maybe your right about the unconditional love - I hope so. Its what I would say to you, so I need to say that to me - I know. And also I do know that drinkin wont solve this. It doesn't solve anything. We all know that.

Gldngal, Lou Lou and Katie, thanks for the hugs and your kind words. I need em and took all to heart.

Brandy, you made me go, "ohhhhhhh goodness" then laugh. :H But I think I'll stick to my evil ways of slippin an occasional treat that my dog licked over to the ex.

Janet, we have visited before. Thanks for your response. I like how you relate to havin the 3 boys. And especially with the whole hockey mentality. Rough little bunch eh?
I DO think my ex is jealous of my boyfriend. He sees him be nice to me. Something my ex cant comprehend. Sees him make me smile. Not to mention how nice looking he is. tee hee hee
Thanks for reminding me of the armour suit. Gonna have to dig that out of the dungeon.

Kate, I know your always there - listening, reading and understanding. Thank you. : )

And Deb, your right - there is always court. (ugg) hope that works out.

You guys are all so awesome. Glad I shared this mess with you guys.

Love you all...

[Mackeral]

OK.....HAVIN A ROUGH TIME

Hiya Gabbs,

I have just seen this now...Pardon my French but your ex husband is a dickhead....Who cant stand to see you happy....I'm getting my plane ticket to come over and kick his arse right now..
Boys always love their mother...Like Nancy said...Give it time...And his true colours will come out....and hopefully your boys will be there to see it.

:l :l :l :l

[samadhi]

OK.....HAVIN A ROUGH TIME

Gabby - my heart breaks for you too. Although I am so thrilled that you are handling this without the bottle. I don't know if I would have the fortitude. I haven't been in your situation, but I do know what it's like to have sons and realize that they can easily pick up behaiviors from the same sex parent - like how to treat their wives especially. We all have to be very aware of that. It's not what you say to them - it's what you do and the example you set. And Rocky - so sorry to read about the loss of your son. Bless you.

[Saint Jude]

OK.....HAVIN A ROUGH TIME

Gabby, I'm so sorry you're having to go thru this...

I think your boys will see his true colors soon enough. He sounds a lot like a guy I was with for years. Big A-hole! I can't believe how hard it was to get out of that...
I'm glad you're no longer with your ex, and have someone that appreciates ya now. You deserve it!:h

I'll be over with Macs shortly! Time for some butt kickin!

Have faith ... your boys will come around.
:l Judie

[gabby]

OK.....HAVIN A ROUGH TIME

Hey Macks,
Ok.....I'll let ya! And Judie you too! In fact I cant wait.

Samadhi, thank you also for your words of support.

[Going Strong]

OK.....HAVIN A ROUGH TIME

Thinking of you!

Ah Gabby I have been there and know the pain when you feel like your kids are rejecting you, but have courage it does get better..........I know this because my children turned against me. They have come around because too many lies were told and they finally saw the truth. Your ex is jealous and in some ways so are your boys! When I started dating my now husband my kids tried to come between us but now they love their stepfather and do appreciate him.
I had to deal with my ex last month and even though I felt strong he knew exactly what buttons to push and got abit slack and his mask did slip for all to see.
Sometimes boys especially teenagers take offense when you reject their father because they are a reflection of him......I don't know if I am explaining it right but we learn about ourselves from our parent so the boys see the rejection as a personal one. Your ex does not deserve to be a father, he is not healthy enough, but it will come down to your sons' choices whether to be like him or not.
Someone said in this thread that the boys are treating you like this coz they know that you will ALWAYS love them. That is so true, my daughter even said as much to me not long ago.
Be brave Gabby, I know you won't drink, you have come to far and are such an inspiration to us all!
You WILL get your kids back.
I am so sorry you are going through this but you have to believe me that it does get better.
Much Love

[gabby]

OK.....HAVIN A ROUGH TIME

Thanks Shas.....so good to see you!

I appreciate what you said and I think so much of it is right. I do think my ex is very jealous of my new boyfriend. And now that my youngest is getting along so well with him it is bugging my ex so bad that he is trying to get a restraining order on him to stay away from my house and my son. All of this is so stupid and I pretty well ignore it but he still rial's up my kids. Its true that my boyfriend is everything that my ex never was. I can see how it threatens him but its scary. I do worry about him goin off the deep end.

I know I am the one that needs the restraining order. I just wish all of this was settled.

[Waves 2]

OK.....HAVIN A ROUGH TIME

"If you keep a cool head and don't try to argue with the boys, they will realize in time how manipulative their father is. I have seen it time and again. It will take time, but if he keeps up the way he does, and you continue to act in a reasonable and adult manner, they will get it--trust me. It will take time. "

"Keep in mind too that your boys, deep down inside, know that they have your unconditional love and trust that you will always be there no matter what. They can afford to be mean to you and hurt you - they can always come back and you will take them back into your heart. That is what parents do when they truly love their children - they take them back into their stomped-on hearts. They don't know that about their dad, so they have to give him more than they give you."

"Someone said in this thread that the boys are treating you like this coz they know that you will ALWAYS love them. That is so true, my daughter even said as much to me not long ago."

I am not brilliant with words but these three comments really hit home as I was reading this thread.

Good luck, Gabby. He will show his true colours soon enough. But if you beat this addiction as you are doing at the moment you will ultimately gain. I am sure of it. But it may take a little time.:l

[YoungAtHeart]

OK.....HAVIN A ROUGH TIME

Gabby, your ex's trying to get a restraining order on your new boyfriend is laughable and pathetic. He has to prove that your friend is dangerous in order to get one. He may end up looking like one heck of an idiot if he proceeds with this. Geez! I understand why you are worked up, though. Who wouldn't be trying to deal with such lunacy! Try to stay cool, honey!

Luv ya lots!!
Kathy

[gabby]

OK.....HAVIN A ROUGH TIME

I know Kath! At least today I didnt hear anything from him. Maybe he is coolin his jets. Hopefully not the calm before the storm. Thanks for your continued support. This all is so stupid. I hope this all will be the attorneys battle soon.

[fsophiah]

OK.....HAVIN A ROUGH TIME

I am so sorry. I'm going to be brief here, but it's not because I don't have a lot to say on this matter. I think you need to have a sit-down with your kids and tell them that their dad is putting them in the position where they have to decide that one of their parents is evil and lying. Then, tell them, this is something you would never do, and maybe not now, but someday, they will know that a person who could hurt them that way is not a person whose word can be trusted. Then, you can tell them that you loved them, always have, always will, have never lied to them, and finally, it's going to be up to them. What an effing bastard!

[Flip]

OK.....HAVIN A ROUGH TIME

The best revenge is a happy life.....he will get what's coming to him, maybe not now, but certainly in his future... what does your future hold?