I think I am a Normie

[LibraryGirl]

I think I am a Normie

Sheri, I'm sorry.:l I was being defensive, and it wasn't your post that made me respond as I did, though it certainly did seem that way. You said some very insightful things, and were very kind. I never want to be the one to discourage anyone from sharing their thoughts. God knows I've fought for my right to do so.

LG

[Kradle123]

I think I am a Normie

Sober Visitor;1344170 wrote: Thanks for saying that Lily! I was beginning to feel like maybe I shouldn't have posted. I know when I was struggling, I really appreciated hearing other people's perspectives and snippets from their experiences, even if they were different from my own, because it helped me to figure out where I fit and what I needed to do to get there. I sometimes need the obvious to be stated again and again and again because it helps me with the internal battle which I think we all experience on this journey no matter what category of drinker we are.

I'm a shy person, so it takes a lot of energy for me to share on a public forum. I worry that someone might take something I write the wrong way or be offended or respond with the ole "thanks but you're not telling me anything I don't already know" response. Just makes me feel like my post was a huge waste of time and energy and shuts me down.

Sheri

Sheri,

Yours is the most important post for me. I need the obvious stated over and over so nothing here is wasted EVER!! When I think I have a new pain or problem I just need recall not a new solution half the time.

I also go down the rabbit hole after posts thinking all sorts of terrible things about my opinions or my advice or experience...LOTS of energy to keep doing this, especially without AL. Easy Peasy with a drink in my hand..

:l

Thanks, :h

[LillyE]

I think I am a Normie

Sober Visitor;1343656 wrote: However, by the time I landed here, I was no longer in denial and knew that no matter what I was by definition (problem drinker or alcoholic) or what I had (disease or allergy or just a bad habit), alcohol was ruining my life and turning me into someone I didn't want to be, and had been progressively doing so for over 30 years. I really didn't have any interest in moderating because I had tried and failed so many times and knew that holding on to the idea that I might one day be able to drink again was going to prevent me from achieving what I knew I had to do to survive the rest of my life. I just wanted to be done with AL once and for all.

Well, for what it's worth, not only did I think it was a great response to LG, but the above really spoke to me as well. I have been wrestling with this for the last year - clinging to the hopes I could drink 'normally' and also unable to imagine really committing to being AF. But, after my latest "slip" (euphemism for crashing collapse into alcoholic misery) I really think/hope I am done.

I think posts like these are always worth posting too because even if they didn't strike a chord with the intended target you never know who else is lurking and how much it might mean to them.

[Wildflowers]

I think I am a Normie

By Sheri.

However, by the time I landed here, I was no longer in denial and knew that no matter what I was by definition (problem drinker or alcoholic) or what I had (disease or allergy or just a bad habit), alcohol was ruining my life and turning me into someone I didn't want to be, and had been progressively doing so for over 30 years. I really didn't have any interest in moderating because I had tried and failed so many times and knew that holding on to the idea that I might one day be able to drink again was going to prevent me from achieving what I knew I had to do to survive the rest of my life. I just wanted to be done with AL once and for all.

For myself personally, without the admission to being an alcoholic, it left the door open to continue a bad habit. If my thinking was left to be allowed that I was only a problem drinker or I just had a bad habit, it gave me a free license to have another experiment with drinking. Like I said this is just me. I knew for years I was a problem drinker. I enjoyed my drinking, even with bad consequences, tho those didn't happen every time I drank. Another great discussion we had at OP-Rehab. If any ones interested we could start a new thread.

We had discussions at OP-Rehab, is drinking just a bad habit. I remember one lady saying she had a bad habit & I thought the clinical supervisor was going to flip. I didn't appreciate his reaction to her. There is a difference in reacting & responding in my opinion.

I like these topics, as they provide an environment, in which to learn & grow from. Thanks to all.

[Wildflowers]

I think I am a Normie

I'm a shy person, so it takes a lot of energy for me to share on a public forum. I worry that someone might take something I write the wrong way or be offended or respond with the ole "thanks but you're not telling me anything I don't already know" response. Just makes me feel like my post was a huge waste of time and energy and shuts me down.

Sheri
I think alot of us feel this way, I know I do. If they take it that way, then all you can do is say sorry & if they don't accept it, it's their problem, their issue. It's not like you purposely meant to harm. Communicating electronically often leaves out all the other senses & things can get perceived or misunderstood easily. Lets not forget peoples egos, but I don't want to go there.

Since you arrived here, or came back, I've learned a great deal from you! You add great strength, long term quality sobriety, sound knowledge & love to this community. I'm so very thankful your here!.... I've even thought of leaving. Don't think I will now. :h

By Kradle
Yours is the most important post for me. I need the obvious stated over and over so nothing here is wasted EVER!! When I think I have a new pain or problem I just need recall not a new solution half the time.

I also go down the rabbit hole after posts thinking all sorts of terrible things about my opinions or my advice or experience...LOTS of energy to keep doing this, especially without AL. Easy Peasy with a drink in my hand..

I need both. For myself I'm looking more for solutions & change. I don't want to stay the same in all my thinking. After all, alot of it is what's gotten me into trouble. But, that's just me. Yet, I need to be reminded, or not take for granted from where I came. If that makes sense. I'm just so glad that were both finding help here & elsewhere Kradle, & that many others are too! Glad were not all the same! I love diversity! It helps me learn & grow! I also love your no post is ever wasted attitude!


Me too, but I'm continuing to remind myself that it's not my business what others think of me, it's mine. I have to love me & like me first. The thing is we are both intelligent & nice people. We shouldn't be so hard on ourselves. It's not necessary, in fact I think it's wrong! I'm going to keep continuing my work on this & growing in this area. I don't have to people please! I don't need their acceptance, their approval! I don't have to perform! I am me & I'm fine! I can make improvements & that's great, I will do the best I can. If it doesn't turn out, I'm good enough the way I am! :h