I think I am a Normie

[LibraryGirl]

Who abused AL. I feel like I don't belong, in a way. I came here because it was the first place that I found on Google, when I searched for "ways to stop drinking". Fortunately for me, I just needed like-minded people. I thank god I was able to quit daily drinking. I credit MWO 100%. I am so grateful that I got out from under the daily struggle I was dealing with, and I do like my life sober. It's a bit boring, yes, lol, but the struggle now is to find my path...and I have done more in the past four months since I've been here to find out what that is than I have in years.

[briseus]

I think I am a Normie

Sometimes I wonder if I am a normie or not...someone that just abuses alcohol...obviously questions that I have for myself that I need to find answers for.

I had a discussion with someone not too long ago...as soon as I self-diagnosed myself as an alcoholic (which people are obviously saying is the only way to go about this) I threw all the caution to the wind. Told myself "What the hell, drink like an alcoholic because HEY! YOU ARE AN ALCOHOLIC!!!" This person agreed with me said that he too thought about this...

Or is that just my alcoholic voice trying to trick me again.
Ugh. I can go back and forth for days trying to figure this out. :|


And doesn't everyone deal with boredom? And need to find their own path with or without alcohol?

This is an interesting post LG. Thanks for sharing. I am going to ponder this for a bit tonight.

[LibraryGirl]

I think I am a Normie

All I know is, I didn't even consider my behavior about drinking, until I was in my 40's....I remember a guy I dated, briefly, who was a good bit younger than I was, and it was Christmas. I had spent the day with my family and I came home to find him on my front porch, and he was drunk. He kept saying I tried to call you over and over, and I know you don't want a drunk in your life, I will quit drinking and be the man you need. LOL, I just looked at him and said, I don't care if you drink, I don't care if you're drunk. At that time in my life, I hadn't had to even think about that sort of thing. I look back on it now, and realize that he was an alcoholic, even in his early 20s, and he knew it.

I don't think I am.

[briseus]

I think I am a Normie

Did someone point your drinking out to you LG before you even began considering whether you had an issue with it or not?

My counsellor asked me the other day if I was interested in pursuing discussions on whether or not I am an alcoholic or one that just abuses alcohol.
I get so freakin' confused because there are people that see a definite difference between the two and then others (such as people in AA) that say there is no difference whatsoever.

[LibraryGirl]

I think I am a Normie

Some did comment on my drinking. However, I saw those exact same people make complete idiots out of themselves drinking, lol. I know that I drank too much. There's no question. The point I was making is that I don't feel compelled to drink all of the time. I got into the daily habit, and it was hard to break (thank you MWO), but I never wanted to drink all of the time (as in, morning to bedtime). Yes, I am an AL abuser. I needed help. I still do, and that's why I am here.

[briseus]

I think I am a Normie

I used to drink all day - but it wasn't because I wanted to per se. I deal with obsessive compulsive disorder...and I am that way with regards to my personality. All or nothing. So I have a hard time differentiating between the two...whether I am an alcoholic that needs booze all the time, or I am that OCD person that needs to do things and do them right away and right NOW...
I drank in the mornings sometimes, not because I wanted to...or because I depended on it...but because in my head I was told "it's there, you might as well drink it all and then not have to think about it later". Messed up. I know.
And I agree with you and understand what you're saying...people made comments on my drinking as well...not my behaviour...and they have done way worse when they were drinking.

A subject that only we ourselves can answer...

[TheSunFlower]

I think I am a Normie

I too wish there was a simple blood test.

You seem to really be struggling with this. You really don't need to post it all over the place. That tells me that you are not a normie (normies never question their drinking or change it easily)...but, who knows. You have done your 30 days. Go off and see. That way you will know for sure. Sad thing is that most of us know for "sure" and continued on.

But I would stop posting this stuff and go find out. If you are a "normie"....I don't think there is person here who would not be happy for you. I just know for ME....drinking did not = happiness. And quite frankly.....I am glad it did not.

I wanted more than looking forward to a drink at the end of the day.....

[Kaslo]

I think I am a Normie

Interesting thread. I too thought I might be a person who was normal, but just binge drank too much occassionally. But I found myself plotting and thinking about alcohol all the time, and that to me was a sign I wasnt normal. So I took a few tests, you know, the ones that ask you a bunch of questions and your score adds up to tell you your an alkie or not. Does it ever effect my work, do I sneak drinks, etc etc. I CHEATED on the tests, thats how really bad I was lying to myself. So I realized, that no I dont drink all the time. But I had the capacity and the direction to either continue to feed the alcoholism that was developing in me or try to quit. I dont know if I made the grade like some of the horrendous descriptions on MWO. But I definetely was headed there. So I think if you are drinking in the morning (even though you tell yourself you didnt want to, and that some how makes it different from being an abuser), or you are drinking all day, you probably ARE an alcohol abuser / alcoholic. And it doesnt really matter that much. That tipping point where its very hard to stop is different for everyone. The point is LG, you are working to control your drinking. Some of us find we cant control it. Its either quit and find a new life, a good one too, or stay in the saddle, riding the alcohol range, alone. Because once some of us poor bastards start, its game over. Back to hosing it down daily. And I dont care what any wine conniseur says, that is NOT healthy.

[Wildflowers]

I think I am a Normie

LibraryGirl;1343395 wrote: Some did comment on my drinking. However, I saw those exact same people make complete idiots out of themselves drinking, lol. I know that I drank too much. There's no question. The point I was making is that I don't feel compelled to drink all of the time. I got into the daily habit, and it was hard to break (thank you MWO), but I never wanted to drink all of the time (as in, morning to bedtime). Yes, I am an AL abuser. I needed help. I still do, and that's why I am here.
I never felt it was my business to say what I thought LG, that it was yours to decide. Now that you have I will give you my honest opinion. I also don't think your an alkie, but a problem drinker. I generally can recognise the difference. I believe this site was created for both. I do think that if a person continues to abuse alcohol over a long period of time, that they can damage the brain to a point of becoming an alkie. I'm glad you haven't done this & that your here with us! You bring many great discussions & laughs to MWO. I also respect your honesty! :l

briseus;1343397 wrote: I used to drink all day - but it wasn't because I wanted to per se. I deal with obsessive compulsive disorder...and I am that way with regards to my personality. All or nothing. So I have a hard time differentiating between the two...whether I am an alcoholic that needs booze all the time, or I am that OCD person that needs to do things and do them right away and right NOW...
I drank in the mornings sometimes, not because I wanted to...or because I depended on it...but because in my head I was told "it's there, you might as well drink it all and then not have to think about it later". Messed up. I know.
And I agree with you and understand what you're saying...people made comments on my drinking as well...not my behaviour...and they have done way worse when they were drinking.

A subject that only we ourselves can answer...

This is what I consider to be the phycological & behaviour part of addiction not the physiological allergy part. The obsession of the mind & the physiological cravings are different. Yet, they are like partners in crime. True alkies livers don't process alcohol at the same rate as normies. They process it slower. Turns into acetate (sp), causing them to not be able to stop dinking after starting. This is why those cravings keep coming on so hard & many drink till they puke, black out, do crazy things. Course normies can do these to with a high B.A.L

The first time I drank at 14 with two GF's I drank till I puked. They stopped after a couple good ones & a nice buzz. The next day I wanted to do it again. Tho in my 30 + drinking history I worked hard & was able to have times of modding & harm reduction, but eventually ended up being controlled by alcohol. Damn't all, I liked my alcohol buzz, the excitement, not the puking part. I wanted to make it stop, make it work. I couldn't live with it or with out it. Had to make a decision & take action.

TheSunFlower;1343412 wrote: I too wish there was a simple blood test.

You seem to really be struggling with this. You really don't need to post it all over the place. That tells me that you are not a normie (normies never question their drinking or change it easily)...but, who knows. You have done your 30 days. Go off and see. That way you will know for sure. Sad thing is that most of us know for "sure" and continued on.

But I would stop posting this stuff and go find out. If you are a "normie"....I don't think there is person here who would not be happy for you. I just know for ME....drinking did not = happiness. And quite frankly.....I am glad it did not.

I wanted more than looking forward to a drink at the end of the day.....
As far as I know there is no blood test. There are MRI scans showing the differences in addicts brains. In particular the nucleus accumbens showing the abnormality where scientists think is the area responsible for addiction. I do believe in the future with genetic mapping they will be able to prove one day, that some of us do have a pre-dispositioned gene for alcoholism ~ addiction. That with the wrong environment included, you also have the phycological & emotional parts of addiction. Include genectics & woo hoo.

Now thankfully, we have a ton of tools to help us overcome this beast, addiction. Whether your an alkie like me, abuse alcohol, don't know what category you fall into. Hey we all just want to find our way out. I'm an alkie so I wave the AF ~ Flag But it took a hell of alot of years & mind games for me to realize this. Plus I liked the effects of alcohol. I'm no where even close to having the monkey off my back.

Sunbeam, I politely disagree with you, LG has a right to post it as many times as she needs to, esp on General Board ~ Thread. I also think she abuses & isn't an alkie. I agree with her own assessment. But we all have a right to our opinions. We can agree to disagree without fighting. At least that's my preferred way of dealing with business & life in general.

I do tell people who continue to question themselves about whether they don't know if they are an alkie or not, is to go out & try some more controlled drinking. Either go to a bar or at home, see if you can drink one drink everyday for 30 days & be content both physically & mentally. If you can do that, you most likely aren't an alkie.

[RedThread12]

I think I am a Normie

I dunno' . . . I don't think "normies" think about their drinking, at all.

[madmans]

I think I am a Normie

There was a time where i thought an alcoholic was a down and out on the street , i now know different, it took a long time for me to accept i had a problem , i think we all think we are "normie drinkers" now i know we are just sticking our heads in the sand and hope we stop/control our drinking.
I have seen some of your other threads you started about modd also, take some time to read back on the modding section and see how many people have tried and gave up to answer that question.
You seem to me to have made up your mind to try so good luck i hope things work well for you but most people here have woke up to the fact that when you develop a drinking problem we cant go back.
Have you seen this thread? https://www.mywayout.org/community/f4...ism-44263.html

[pingu1997]

I think I am a Normie

I hoped i was a normie too

i am happier without al. normie or not and thats the way it stays

LG you seem to want to go down the journey i was too scared to try
and right now i am damn glad i am still on the sober path

good luck. seriously. i hope you are a normie. i wish i was but acceptance has been a beautiful thing

[Nelz]

I think I am a Normie

pingu1997;1343600 wrote: I hoped i was a normie too

i am happier without al. normie or not and thats the way it stays

LG you seem to want to go down the journey i was too scared to try
and right now i am damn glad i am still on the sober path

good luck. seriously. i hope you are a normie. i wish i was but acceptance has been a beautiful thing

That is such wonderful news! I remember your post about the year AF, and then the feelings that followed. Keep it up Remember my motto "Nothing good EVER happens as a result of AL"

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[LibraryGirl]

I think I am a Normie

Sorry, I am a writer and a researcher, and I do tend to get obsessive. It's in my nature. I don't mean to offend anyone, and I will stop posting threads such as this. I like to hash and rehash things to death, and I get that it's annoying and maybe even offensive.

I'm going back to my corner now.

[mama bear]

I think I am a Normie

hey LG...maybe you could post all your thoughts in the Mods section??
That way those that are struggling and sensitive right now may not notice.....
just a thought sweetie