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Day fourteen .. no end in sight!

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    #1

    Day fourteen .. no end in sight!

    I have not been able to access the internet for days at a time as our lake house is in the middle of nowhere with no internet service. I have wanted so badly to get here and check in but this is my first opportunity in 5 days or so.

    I am still not drinking and not even tempted. I am about at the same place I was last June when I was in Vancouver with my disfunctional family and took a drink of wine after abstaining for 14 days or so. Unfortunately, my mother, an 82 year old alcoholic is very ill in the hospital in Vancouver (she was visiting when she took ill) and my brother is too busy with his businesses to visit her there often enough. She is violent, lashing out and in terrible pain sometimes. It's looking like I am the one who has to fly across the country to be with her.

    This will be an emotional challenge as well as a sobriety challenge. Really don't want to go. She is miserable and hard to handle... throwing water at everyone and kicking at people...

    We shall see....
    Tipplerette

    I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

    "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
    ? Lao-Tzu
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    #2
    Day fourteen .. no end in sight!

    Hi Tipple,

    I'm sorry to hear that you're moving has fallen ill...this is obviously a very tough time in your life and can definitely prove to be challenging when it comes to your sobriety. You just have to realize that if you do decide to drink, nothing is going to change your current situation. Things will remain the same...so it's better to go at this sober...even though it is going to be quite tough.

    We all know that you are a tough cookie...so hang in there...post here as often as you can...and if you're not receiving an internet connection then open up a word document and pretend like you are writing us from there...and then once you got on post it and share. This may help you feel like you are connecting with us somehow.

    Congratulations on 14 days - that is amazing. Keep up the fantastic work.
    I am sure your Mom would be proud - so think of her while you continue on your sober path.
    Sorry if I sound preachy here!
    I hope your Mom's pain goes away. That must be tough on you and everyone involved.

    Sending prayers your way.
    xo

    Comment

      #3
      Day fourteen .. no end in sight!

      Hi Tip:

      I'm so sorry you were off line but I should have sent you my Elton John Bobble Head!!
      2 weeks is so great and at the lake house no less..WooHooo.

      Party for one!

      I am really sorry about your mom and that you are the go to gal. For my sisters and I it was my dad and he didn't drink. Might have been better if he had. He was awful. Cruel, demeaning...Take possible comfort that your kids are grown and she can't 'influence' them. Mine were young and I had to try to keep them away from dad. It sucked. And I assure you drinkking didnt help. Not even close.
      Will be thinking of you my friend :l

      Sending/chanting the Buddhist ' daimoku' for your absolute victory.
      You are so on your way! :h
      On My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
      *If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
      https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html tool box
      https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html newbie nest

      Comment

        #4
        Day fourteen .. no end in sight!

        Hang in there for your family but more so for yourself, I remember when my dad was dying in 2005 I would leave the hospital and come home to have some wine. It always made me feel so much better Except I had to go back the next morning and then I was more anxious and more off balance. Looking back I wish I hadn't tried to escape so much because going through the bad times in life sober probably would have developed more character in me.

        Comment

          #5
          Day fourteen .. no end in sight!

          Congratulations on the 14 days! It gets better the longer the quit goes.
          I quit drinking on March 8, 2020. Taking it One Day At A Time and no more taking my quit for granted.

          Also doing it for me. I got to stay sober for me.

          Just consecrate on today and do what you can to remain sober for today and worry about staying sober tomorrow, tomorrow.

          Comment

            #6
            Day fourteen .. no end in sight!

            Well done Tip, on 14 days. My sympathies re elderly AL addicted abusive parent. Been there, done that and have the t-shirt. If anything watching my moms antics gave me some resolve. When she died at 90 I was in Bali, and my adult daughter found her bottle stashes around the apt here and there. But before that it was me that was always rushing up to Kamloops to bail the old bat out of hospital, clean up the mess, sort out the mixed med situation. And be on the receiving end of a whole pile of shite and abuse. I will be thinking of you, because that was me back in 2003 - 2007. Can they giver her something to calm her down. All that fireworks can be good for the old gal. Anyways, I found facing the theatrics a LOT easier sober, and it was one of the things that made me try to quit. I guess I said there but by the grace of God go I. Same thing with my dads old girl friend, died of cirrhosis here a year ago next month at 71. I saw myslef in them both.

            Keep your pecker up, I think the Scots say that.

            K
            Kaslo

            Stopped the madness: February 14, 2011
            Status: Happy:h

            Comment

              #7
              Day fourteen .. no end in sight!

              You guys are great. Seems like we've all been there, eh. I am trying to book a flight to Vancouver on the 12th and returning on the 23rd so that will be my duty fulfilled. She now has internal bleeding along with her dementia, broken bones from osteaosporosis (sp) and other assorted ailments. My nephew brought her some non alcohol beer to the hospital yesterday. I wonder how that went over with the nurses.
              Tipplerette

              I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

              "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
              ? Lao-Tzu

              Comment

                #8
                Day fourteen .. no end in sight!

                What happens is good Tipps.
                Say to yes and accept everything is a way out for me.
                Wish you all the best!!!!
                D
                A learned habit surely be unlearned !!

                2012: Continuous AF for 7 months from May to Oct.

                Big Relapses : 6th November and 12th December 2012.

                2013 : So many ups and down !!

                2014: Has a conviction to stay with a healthy life.

                Comment

                  #9
                  Day fourteen .. no end in sight!

                  Hi Tipperette, me too with the demented Mum - very very hard to handle but it passes - and they are an opportunity to pay back - think of when you were a baby and she took care of you - wiped your face, and your baby bum....your turn.

                  I was drinking when my mother was at her worst and I really think it made things more difficult - way too much emotion going on without throwing gasoline on the fire. Hope you get to Van ok, and that it's not as bad as you anticipate. Stay strong for her, and for yourself.
                  Ask yourselves, would you rather be a non drinker with an occasional desire to drink or a drinker with a constant desire to stop doing it?
                  (quote from Bean )

                  Goal: Survival

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Day fourteen .. no end in sight!

                    Thanks, Fellow Canuckle !! I leave this Thursday and will start a self-encouraging thread to boost my resiliance. I am now on day 18 and by golly I believe this is it. Day 30 will happen in Vancouver and I will be shopping on Lonsdale for some cute little outfit.

                    My mom has improved to the point where she is attempting to walk and is pretty coherent. I am hoping to bring her home at the end of my visit. She lives in Toronto; me in Ottawa so I'll have to change my return flight. I have a sister in Toronto who will take over from there.

                    Thanks for the comparision of mother/baby; it will help when she is being demanding.

                    Drinking while dealing with my Mom is not smart; I agree with you.

                    Have a great weekend.
                    Tipplerette

                    I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

                    "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
                    ? Lao-Tzu

                    Comment

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