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How do I face people after I was blacked out drunk?

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    #1

    How do I face people after I was blacked out drunk?

    Hey everyone,

    I am more of a 'lurker', but I really want to change that. I guess I just don't seem wise enough yet to offer advice. I am a binger, who has successfully modded the last six months, but alas, I have fallen back into my dangerous ways again. Life is so friggin' stressful! And of course, my normie husband never comments when I do good, only when I mess up. So I do have a dilemma that I was hoping to get advice on. Last week, at a 4th of July party I got shit-faced. I blacked out, so I don't know what I did, but my husband said I 'embarrassed him'. I didn't want details anyway. But the party was at the home of the people who are going to be our new next door neighbors. We are building a house on a lake, and its almost finished. So this party consisted of several of their family and friends, who I will see again. HOW DO I FACE THEM? Do I say, oh yeah, i know I was bombed, sorry about that! Or do I act like nothing happened? Seems to me normies will acknowledge a singled out drunken mess they made of themselves, but alkies will not want to bring it up. That's been my experience with others in my life. I don't want to be known as 'that drunken housewife' before I even get to live there! Ugh.

    I have GOT to wise up and realize modding won't work for me. And living on a lake? It sounds like one big party out there. I have to learn to say NO! Wish me luck!

    Thanks for listening.
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    #2
    How do I face people after I was blacked out drunk?

    since

    You will see them regularly again you need to know what happened. Be brave and ask your husband. Then you will know whether you need to apologize or just ignore it.

    Comment

      #3
      How do I face people after I was blacked out drunk?

      Hi Gettingthere,

      I agree with Nancy, your husband should tell you what happened...that way it can be your choice what to do. If it wasn't that "bad", I would just ignore it. I know it's embarrassing and hard to hear, but you should know what went on...you'll probably feel better and maybe even relieved once you know.

      Good luck,

      K9
      :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

      Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

      Comment

        #4
        How do I face people after I was blacked out drunk?

        You are right, K9 I didn't want to hear what you and Nancy suggested. I would rather pull off my toenails off one by one with rusty pliers than talk to my husband about that night! He doesn't get alcoholism and doesn't try.
        I just get very very talkative when I get that drunk and I am sure I was slurring and slobbering too. It was later in the evening that I lost track of everything, so hopefully my husband just got us the heck out of there when he realized how drunk I was.

        I just want this behind me. I get so sad when I think about it.

        Comment

          #5
          How do I face people after I was blacked out drunk?

          hard but would help

          Of course it would be hard. But is it going to be easier being around these people all the time and wondering what happened? If it's slurring or falling that's one thing but you need to know if you said something insulting, something that could damage future relationships.

          Comment

            #6
            How do I face people after I was blacked out drunk?

            I've known normies who've been trashed in the past & never apologized. I think inside they may have felt just as awkward as the next person, aka an alkie or problem drinker. Whether normie or not, people remember being over the limit, they remember not remembering & wondering what the hell they might have said or did. I think if you would have done something really awful besides embarrassing your hubs, he would have told you by now. Is he giving you the cold shoulder now? If he is then ask him what ya did & said.

            Me personally I'd do nothing. Only, cause ya say you have been in control last 6 mo. It will be a bit awkward at first, but after about 5-15 minutes it will pass. Most likely they too have been in your shoes at one time or a another. It's not like you do this every time you drink.

            When you have to face them again & you feel fear. Picture them all wearing something like baby clothes, with pacifiers in their mouths, or something to get the fear out of your head, until it passes. Good Luck, it probably won't be as bad as you think.

            Comment

              #7
              How do I face people after I was blacked out drunk?

              Here's an example from my past. I've been married for 28 yrs. There have been times I embarrassed my hubs & he said nothing. I to didn't want to know. Then there were times he told me what I said. Then I asked him why he didn't tell me about the other times, he said there was a drastic difference. Embarrassing to him meant being loud, the life of the party. Then there were times I was rude, obnoxious, angry & even insulting people. This was the progression of my drinking over time.

              Comment

                #8
                How do I face people after I was blacked out drunk?

                Its gonna be a pink elephant until it is faced. YOU may not know what happened but surely others did.

                Grab your boot straps, face up, apologize, dont do it again, and move on.



                Thats what I'd do if I was in your shoes........its what I have done
                Living on Planet Sober since 05/02/11




                DAREDEVIL COOKIE MONSTER

                Comment

                  #9
                  How do I face people after I was blacked out drunk?

                  Another concept might be that if your husband says it was really bad, that you go humbly to your new neighbors and tell them you are sorry, and that you are trying to own your experiences with alcohol. A simple humble spirit might actually produce a bond as they realize you are mature and growing and open to change. They no doubt fail in there lives in some areas, and knowing the new neighbor is vulnerable might encourage them. Certainly there is a risk to that, but they would almost for sure respect the heck out of you for it. Just a thought, and there probably is no real correct answer.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    How do I face people after I was blacked out drunk?

                    If it's going to continue to bother You, not knowing what you said, or did, then maybe it's best you ask your hubs. This way you are armed with truth & knowledge, so that you can think about it & make an informed decision on how to proceed. Wishing you the best!...

                    Comment

                      #11
                      How do I face people after I was blacked out drunk?

                      tell them youre british and never did like the independence thing lol

                      Comment

                        #12
                        How do I face people after I was blacked out drunk?

                        Oh Scottishman, lol...

                        I have gone through this several times...I have never apologized...it is possible though that it's different for me because of the age I'm at...been drinking, 23/24/25...and so when you do something stupid at this age everyone just brushes it off...although there have definitely been times where I woke up and the boyfriend totally ignored me - I had embarrassed him...
                        The only person I really apologized to was him.
                        Actually no; that's a lie...I apologized to a friend's brother - I took his cell phone, left the bar and lost his brand new iPhone on my way home. That is something you should apologize for. If you were obnoxious, loud...well, that happens when you're drunk!

                        As much as I didn't want to know what I did when I drank I still asked the boyfriend...I wanted to know all that I did. There are definitely times where I don't remember what I did...and never will...there is no point in dwelling on it. I made the decision to drink...and that's what happens when you give me booze. And when I keep doing it...well...

                        But if I did say something that offended someone - then I would apologize...

                        It's tricky...because some people say nada...and some people can't sit still until they do something about it. I think it's the anxiety that is the most brutal part about it. The anxiety of your next meeting with your neighbours/friends and what they will act like around you...

                        I have been in your shoes...several times.
                        I hope to not be in them again.

                        Let us know what you decide!

                        Comment

                          #13
                          How do I face people after I was blacked out drunk?

                          Love the advice there Scottishman! But I don't think they'd buy it!

                          Briseus, I didn't break or steal anything. I have always been a sappy, sentimental drunk. I have never gotten angry or confrontational. I just like to talk!

                          Thanks everyone for your thoughts so far, it's made me think. (And laugh--thanks Scottishman!) :H

                          Comment

                            #14
                            How do I face people after I was blacked out drunk?

                            sappy

                            If you were just sappy and sentimental that might endear you to some people. Your hubby not so much.

                            Comment

                              #15
                              How do I face people after I was blacked out drunk?

                              Oh, I wasn't implying that you broke or stole anything - and I didn't either...I am not sure why I took my friends phone - I was drunk...I probably thought it was mine.

                              I was always a sappy and sentimental drunk as well...but sometimes someone would say something to me that didn't jive with me at that time and I could get a bit confrontational...and this I remembered...I am not sure what I would say when I blacked out...

                              Glad that you got advice that got ya thinking!

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