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    #16
    Heading into Major Stress !! Need Strength!

    Hi tipperette just throwing in my support here, your doing great personality in difficult emotional circumstances, Whenever you feel a craving, ask yourself “what thoughts are going through my head right now”. Many of the thoughts you are having will themselves be responsible for your craving. It becomes a matter of responding to those thoughts in a more rational way.keep in touch as much as you can.


    :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

    Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
    I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

    This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

    Comment

      #17
      Heading into Major Stress !! Need Strength!

      Wildflowers;1348463 wrote: Hi Tipplerette,

      Just want you to know I'm thinking of you & sending you lots of positive energy & thoughts. You can do this, you can over come. You can change your thinking. Alcohol is poison for many of us!. You have made it this far & you can keep going!... You have lots of people here who will support you, cheer you on!.... People who've traveled this road & understand. Hang on to their strength & wisdom. Post, read here each day & know that you are never alone on this journey!... You are worth living an AF life, a happy & healthy life, the one your meant to have!. The one we are all meant to live! You are all ready reaping the benefits!

      I think it's a great idea to reward yourself! When I was at OP-Rehab, they wanted us to do this every wk. Just something small. My first month here I didn't treat myself. This last month here I did. I went & had a deluxe pedi, even had a special flower done on my toe, also had a mani. Pretty soon it will be my 60 days, Going to get a massage. I'm worth it & so are you. We all are!.... :l

      I haven't been to an AA meeting in either 2 or 3 yrs this month, can't honestly remember. But, I still stay in contact with my Grandma sponsor who is now 81, she has 40+ yrs of sobriety & is a hoot!.... She sends out daily messages to woman. She sent me one a wk ago or so & I thought of you. It's about detachment. It's from, From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie. It's older, but the message is good imo. If you want I can copy, paste & send it to you in a PM. Let me know, or if anybody else wants it.

      Take Care Of You ! Congrats on 21 days!

      Wildflowers :h

      Done With Alcohol 5/23/12
      Very much appreciated, Wildflowers. Please do send me the Language of Letting Go either here or PM. Your words resonate with me and I feel that this is it. No turning back now. I've gained to much self-respect to throw it all away.

      xoxo
      Tipplerette

      I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

      "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
      ? Lao-Tzu

      Comment

        #18
        Heading into Major Stress !! Need Strength!

        nicelife;1348465 wrote: Hi Tips and Stirly,

        I've watched both of you throughout your journey and I think you are both absolutely awesome!

        You've made hard decisions, you've committed, you've planned and you've be strong. That's what does it. This isn't something that comes easy in the beginning and I just love the analogy of sobriety being like a delicate flower to be nurtured and respected. So true! As time goes on, sobriety becomes a natural state and (for me) the idea of drinking is a weird thought now and again. As you may know I thought I'd try to mod scene after many years of being grog free. Not a good idea or outcome. Soon I'll be one year AF again.

        I guess the points I wanted to share with you are, you're where you are because of hard work, tenacity and a firm resolve for a better life. You should be soooo proud of what you've achieved and celebrate yourself every single day!

        Well done, and I wish you well with the impending stress Tips!!

        Lots of love and hugs, Nicelife.
        Hi NiceLife, moderation has taken it's toll on so many people here, I would be a fool to try it. Actually without putting in my 30 days, I have tried to moderate many times and end up drinking for days on end. Now that I will have my thirty days, it would be idiotic for me to try something that doesn't work and simply keeps the stinkin' drinkin' thoughts alive and flourishing.

        Will keep at it and you are a wonderful role model.

        Thanks

        xoxo
        Tipplerette

        I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

        "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
        ? Lao-Tzu

        Comment

          #19
          Heading into Major Stress !! Need Strength!

          Good Morning Tipp,

          The way you described the short time time between 'cheers' and your Mac and cheese is so clear, so profound, really. Whenever I would find myself back at the beginning of the abyss, I really had no idea how in the heck I got there. I am so impressed who vivid you painted that short but disastrous journey backwards.

          We have close AF days; I'm 24 today. And of course dealing with my own stress

          I was still drinking when my parents passed away and I wish I had your chance to be there, clear headed, ready to see it all, to absorb it all, and then to learn from it all.
          I just ran away...

          Sending you much daimoku or Buddhist prayer for total victory, my friend. :l
          On My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
          *If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
          https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html tool box
          https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html newbie nest

          Comment

            #20
            Heading into Major Stress !! Need Strength!

            Kradle123;1348738 wrote: Good Morning Tipp,

            The way you described the short time time between 'cheers' and your Mac and cheese is so clear, so profound, really. Whenever I would find myself back at the beginning of the abyss, I really had no idea how in the heck I got there. I am so impressed who vivid you painted that short but disastrous journey backwards.

            We have close AF days; I'm 24 today. And of course dealing with my own stress

            I was still drinking when my parents passed away and I wish I had your chance to be there, clear headed, ready to see it all, to absorb it all, and then to learn from it all.
            I just ran away...

            Sending you much daimoku or Buddhist prayer for total victory, my friend. :l
            Kradle, It means a lot coming from you as we are on a parallel path; you dealing with your husband's difficult ways and me heading out west to deal with my mother's confused, angry mind.

            I intend to be present at my Mom's bedside and my goal is to try to make her laugh (my specialty in our family) and to get her to eat, walk and put effort into her recovery.

            It's true, what you said about finding yourself back where you started by making some thoughtless, spontaneous decisions.

            I really don't miss the checking out the wine bottle to make sure I get more than my share LOL. Hey I have never been at this ideal weight. My BMI is finally not in the overweight category. I am now at 24 BMI and it's all because of not drinking poison.

            I am re-reading the Jason Vale book to keep me positive.

            Kradle, you are going through hell right now; been there too 15 years ago when my kids were 16, 14 and 10. It was such a difficult time in my life but the rewards from making the right decision are endless. I was not drinking at the time. Be true to yourself and let's keep each other strong.

            Same goes for the rest of ya! Let's stay away from that which kills us.. Duh !!
            Tipplerette

            I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

            "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
            ? Lao-Tzu

            Comment

              #21
              Heading into Major Stress !! Need Strength!

              I arrived in Vanouver and got to the hospital this afternoon. Mom was coherent but suffering with C-Difficile which cause diarria and vomiting. She was walking shakily to and from the washroom and we played cards. She was hallucinating a fair bit but reasonably pleasant.

              Not even tempted to drink so have nothing much to say. Very tired with the time difference (3 hours) and am walking back and forth up and down the mountain to get to and from the hospital... 45 minutes each way. I need the exercise to keep me going. I thought I would be sitting around the hospital room but it's back and forth with the walker, the IV drip and my mom every 20 minutes or so... the poor dear.

              Will check in later.
              Tipplerette

              I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

              "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
              ? Lao-Tzu

              Comment

                #22
                Heading into Major Stress !! Need Strength!

                Forgot to mention for the five hours of flying across the country, I reread Jason Vale's Kick the Drink Easily from cover to cover... now that's encouragement.
                Tipplerette

                I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

                "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
                ? Lao-Tzu

                Comment

                  #23
                  Heading into Major Stress !! Need Strength!

                  Just got back from the day from hell at the hospital. Mom is hallucinating and really out of it but wide awake and very demanding. Keeps talking about her beer.

                  Not drinking still.

                  Tired and sad.
                  Tipplerette

                  I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

                  "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
                  ? Lao-Tzu

                  Comment

                    #24
                    Heading into Major Stress !! Need Strength!

                    It's OK to feel tired & sad Tipplerette. It's even OK to go off somewhere alone & just cry if you need to. Just know that you are strong & you will get thru this, without the poison hun!... We are with you in spirit & we care!.... Please know none of this is your fault, you have done nothing wrong!.... People make their own choices in life. My Mom is ill in a different way, but the thing about alcohol & some other diseases, like Alzheimers, is it can change their personality. It's often not the real them.

                    You are showing your Mom compassion & love now. Please also take some time & do the same for you! You & your family hopefully will be able to make some decisions soon, about her health care. I hope that she will be well soon, that you take care of your self, soon you will be back home sitting by the lake, enjoying some nice refreshing AF healthy beverages smiling again!.... :l

                    Comment

                      #25
                      Heading into Major Stress !! Need Strength!

                      I'm up Tip:

                      Watching this strange Documentary about a guy who rides a scooter across the country from Seattle to Boston because he hates his desk job... No there's a good way to Stay AF

                      Mom sounds like she's having a tough time over there. But you sound very prepared if not super exhausted, which is so Understandable :l
                      You probably mentioned this before but as I am always in a perpetual Topa moment, I forget. are you alone over there with mom or is any of your family with you? I remember your husband couldn't come.

                      Are the hospital staff supportive? I hope you have a nice place to detach yourself at least...


                      I have some reprieve as all the men in the house are off camping. I'm home with the twins and it's quiet. Going to make some soup here and take my supps.
                      Had a very strange revelation with the husband which blew me a bit out of the water.
                      Won't get into it here, right now.

                      I'm sending more daimoku. You are so strong my friend. This is harder than anything I think we ever do. Mom is so incredibly lucky to have you and so is the rest of your family!

                      Much love and hugs, :yourespecial::

                      Don't forget to take a nice long bubble bath !! :bath2::
                      On My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
                      *If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
                      https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html tool box
                      https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html newbie nest

                      Comment

                        #26
                        Heading into Major Stress !! Need Strength!

                        Kradle, I am so spent and in a different time zone so hearing your compassionate words brought me to tears. the hospital is overcrowded and she is stuck with a demented elderly man (they make quite the pair). The staff is very supportive. She needs to come off some of her medication in order to function better mentally. But at this time she needs the medicine because of her numerous problems.

                        I walk to and from the hospital in a gorgeous city (North Vancouver) and it takes 45 minutes so that part is lovely. My brother lives within walking distance to the hospital but he runs two businesses and is not able to get to the hospital often. My sister arrived from Seattle today and she is a big help.

                        I was prepared for the emotional side but not the lifting, pushing, fetching, etc. and that combined with the mental fatigue is tiring me. Her prognosis for the future is totally unknown.

                        My sister-in-law is waiting for me; she just got home from their laundrymat (it's 10:30 pm Vancouver time - 1:30 a.m. my time) and she wants to have a glass of wine with me. I prepared for this inevitability by making a batch of peppermint tea which i refrigerated.

                        Going to say hello now.

                        I appreciate your responding. I hope the situation with your husband has taken a turn for the better; Keeping my fingers crossed for you.

                        Take care and goodnight.
                        Tipplerette

                        I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

                        "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
                        ? Lao-Tzu

                        Comment

                          #27
                          Heading into Major Stress !! Need Strength!

                          You stay strong Tipper....your family needs you! Not the shell of you. Remember that serenity prayer...some things you just cannot change. But have the wisdom to know the things you can change. I promise you, when you come thru the other side of this you will be so glad you stayed sober. I know I have been. PM me if you need a word...I will help any way I can. Remember...don't drink no matter what and no matter who. My thoughts are with you....B
                          All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
                          Tool Box
                          Newbie's Nest

                          Comment

                            #28
                            Heading into Major Stress !! Need Strength!

                            Exhausted but feeling that I am really helping my Mom. She is so frightened when she is left alone. the doctor confirmed today that her seizure was likely caused by alcohol withdrawel as she was taken off beer suddenly by my brother when she got ill originally.

                            Not going to be doing any drinkin' besides my iced tea.

                            Nighty night.
                            Tipplerette

                            I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

                            "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
                            ? Lao-Tzu

                            Comment

                              #29
                              Heading into Major Stress !! Need Strength!

                              We are here thinking of you, as you go through what you need to do.
                              My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

                              Comment

                                #30
                                Heading into Major Stress !! Need Strength!

                                Tipplerette you are doing so well, I hope I find the strength to stay off the poison once my reduction plan is over. Wishing your Mum good health.
                                Taking it ODAT

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