Alcoholic?

[briseus]

I am just curious...

So often does someone tell you that the only person that can tell you if you're alcoholic is YOU...

Then why are so many people quick to tell you that you are one when you discuss your issues on forums...or at meetings...or during therapy sessions.
Particularly at AA. I am just curious...or what everyone opinion was on this or if anyone told you they think you are an alcoholic.

[scottishman]

Alcoholic?

No one has ever told me it, but i'm 6 ' 2 and grew a rocker beard and worked out a lot


lol

[Nelz]

Alcoholic?

If anyone told me they thought I was an alky..........I would say they are correct.

Im ok with any label anyone wants to put on me. I know I cant control my drinking when I start....so I dont start.........LOL

[briseus]

Alcoholic?

I guess I have a problem - sorta - with being labelled. I know what I am...

What bothers me is when people in programs like AA sit there and say "You have to do this because you are an alcoholic!" And I just met them. :/

[Kradle123]

Alcoholic?

I think Bri, my objection with the term comes from it being identified as having a flawed character, a weak or pathetic personality. A victim. These were the definitions of an Alcoholic I was raised with but the basic idea is that if you are labeled one than you have a deeply fucked up character and should be pitied at best, avoided at worst...

Any wonder I am not partial to the term....even though I think all of that is a load of horse shit. :H

:l

[Destiniey]

Alcoholic?

Well said Kradle!!!!!! Well said!

[Kradle123]

Alcoholic?

Bri:

I was chatting several weeks ago with a good friend who doesn't drink any more. We were talking about another mutual friend and how early on in her sobriety she would be in restaurants warning the waiters that she was an alcoholic so no drinks please. She was always telling people that she was a recovering alcoholic (and yes she started in AA) andf I found this rather uncomfortable as I am a private person. So when I asked my friend why our mutual friend was doing this she mentioned that many people new to sobriety often use the label to keep themselves accountable 'out there' If they make their position public they often feel safer about maintaining their sobriety . Not keeping it secret anymore.

This made sense to me and if it helped her feel more secure moving in and among drinking people then more power, I say!!

[Kradle123]

Alcoholic?

Thanks Dest.

X Post

[Nelz]

Alcoholic?

Kradle123;1349338 wrote: I think Bri, my objection with the term comes from it being identified as having a flawed character, a weak or pathetic personality. A victim. These were the definitions of an Alcoholic I was raised with but the basic idea is that if you are labeled one than you have a deeply fucked up character and should be pitied at best, avoided at worst...

Any wonder I am not partial to the term....even though I think all of that is a load of horse shit. :H

:l

In a strange twisted sort of way, thats maybe why I "dont" mind the label, and I dont mind who knows that I have a problem with AL.

Im pretty proud of being able to quit for this amount of time, and its kind of cool to inform people.......sort of a positive reinforcement. I didnt choose to have my brain wired the way it was, anymore than we do for our sexual orientation.........its just what we were given.

I wouldnt get upset if some called me a "hetero" LOL

[Sunbeam]

Alcoholic?

I have an alcoholic brain that tells me to drink or keep drinking. We do have that image of the person sitting on the curb with a bottle in a brown bag, that's not me.

[Sober Visitor]

Alcoholic?

Hi Bri,

I personally don't like the term "alcoholic." I know and accept the fact that I am one under the definition of that label, but other than here where I feel safe, I do not use the term to describe/define myself nor do I appreciate anyone else using the term to describe/define me. Sadly, I have been called an alcoholic to my face three times that I can remember (and probably countless times behind my back), and it was never done in a loving way. It brings up so much shame for me because of the negative connotation and stigma associated with it and actually drove me further into isolation and prevented me from seeking help for a very long time. I think it's one of the primary reasons I avoided going to AA. I just couldn't get past having to call myself an alcoholic in front of a room full of people. That just wasn't going to work for my personality type.

Apparently, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) Center for Substance Abuse Treatment (CSAT) agrees and created a Guide to the Use of Language to help create awareness about the power of words and alternatives to use to reduce the use of stigmatizing terminology.

http://www.naabt.org/documents/Langu...onmedicine.pdf

There's a list of words they recommend avoiding on page 12 because they're considered unhelpful. Here's what they say about the terms alcoholic and problem drinker:

Abuser, Addict, Alcoholic

Problem with the terms: These terms are demeaning because they label a person by his/her illness. By making no distinction between the person and the disease, they deny the dignity and humanity of the individual. In addition, these labels imply a permanency to the condition, leaving no room for a change in status.

Preferred terminology: Person with alcohol/drug disease, person with a substance use disorder, person experiencing an alcohol/drug problem, patient or client (if referring to an individual receiving treatment services)

Problem Drinker

Problem with the term: The use of the word problem to identify and describe the person (the “drinker”) by implication identifies the person as a problem. The use of the word drinker as a label for the person reduces the person’s essence and identity to one
(problematic) behavior. Like abuser, alcoholic, and addict, this term denies the dignity and humanity of the individual.

Preferred terminology: Person experiencing an alcohol problem, person with a substance use disorder

I am personally much more comfortable describing/defining myself as a person with an alcohol problem and now that I'm no longer drinking I consider myself as a non-drinker. I own the fact that I cannot drink alcohol, ever, and that's what's most important to me.

Sheri

[mario]

Alcoholic?

Labeling is putting someone in a group, For me its not the lableing I care about its the judging .When we pre-judge someone before we know them or we lable them for who we think they are that can be very annoying,Having said that If we didn't have labels separating us, we'd all be the same would we not ?

[windy]

Alcoholic?

I guess I still like to think of myself as someone who has control and has choices and I choose not to drink; whereas an alcoholic is someone to me that has no control or choices.

Great posts here by the way.

[Wildflowers]

Alcoholic?

Nelz;1349437 wrote: In a strange twisted sort of way, thats maybe why I "dont" mind the label, and I dont mind who knows that I have a problem with AL.

Im pretty proud of being able to quit for this amount of time, and its kind of cool to inform people.......sort of a positive reinforcement. I didnt choose to have my brain wired the way it was, anymore than we do for our sexual orientation.........its just what we were given.

I wouldnt get upset if some called me a "hetero" LOL

This is now how I feel about it mostly. I don't mind sayin it here, cause I'm amongst peeps who have a drink problem, or don't mind calling themselves an alkie. If they do have a problem with the lable, that's there right & their business! Not mine!...

When I go out ta dinner I don't shout it out above the rooftops. I just politely say no thanks. I don't tell other people either, cause of the worlds stigma, ignorance. It's my business! Tho if I thought it would help somebody I would!... Sometimes I say it here, more in hopes of plantin a seed..... & reminding me.....

Why should I be ashamed that my brain is wired differently? I am not! I am proud that I'm doing something to help myself, I am & will over come this!... There's a lot of brilliant recovered alkies ~ addicts in this world!

I have ta remind myself that I am more then just a problem drinker ta say the least. If I start saying I just have a problem with drinkin, or I just abuse alcohol, my mind can make room for the freedom ta say, maybe my problem with the drink really isn't that bad after all & I can get away with it this time. I played all those bargaining games before & I am done. I think there is a distinct difference in levels, as well. I played a lot of mind games, plus being a free spirit, a rebel, & thinkin that drinkin was helpin. Nope, I am a full blown alkie. Yee haw...

It took me along time to admit that alcoholism was more than just a choice, once I started drinkin & that I was using it ta cope with life. So, maybe I had a bit of a thinking & emotional, behavior problem too.

But, to each their own!.... What ever helps a person get over pouring the poison down their gullet! So they can move on ta live a healthier & happier life! This is what it's all about! Labels no labels! Yee Haw!

With all that being said, I'm also a beautiful, kind, smart, talented woman!. So big fecking deal if I am an alkie too. Another Yee Ha!

Wildflowers :h

[Kradle123]

Alcoholic?

Nelz;1349437 wrote: In a strange twisted sort of way, thats maybe why I "dont" mind the label, and I dont mind who knows that I have a problem with AL.

Im pretty proud of being able to quit for this amount of time, and its kind of cool to inform people.......sort of a positive reinforcement. I didnt choose to have my brain wired the way it was, anymore than we do for our sexual orientation.........its just what we were given.

I wouldnt get upset if some called me a "hetero" LOL

I can certainly see that Nelz and Wildflower too. I truly can. Winning against the battle. Being definatel better for this struggle.
For me, at this point in my journey, I am way to self ...well...self hating to put myself in a position to be labelled as such and which as Sober said is rarely if ever said to you in a loving way, but is more often used to attack, to put down or to patronize .

At least this has been my experience.
:l :l