What a mess I am in. I drank because I had financial difficulty, I have financial difficulty because I drank. I have run up my credit cards before (anywhere from 2-8K) and my fiscally responsible husband has bailed me out. Now I did it again, different accounts now total about 12K. My husband will be FURIOUS if he finds out, and it may even be the catalyst to leave me. Between my reckless spending and drinking, he will surely have had it.
It wouldn?t be hard for him to pack up and leave, because I already did it to him. 3 years ago, I convinced myself I was no longer in love with him because he was controlling and a tad narcissistic. But I really wanted to drink whenever I wanted. My God I was so miserable. There was NOTHING fun about the year we were apart and he begged for me to come home. I finally did and I can?t imagine leaving him ever again. I love him dearly.
Here is the deal, I have no job. My self esteem is in the toilet and I keep taking jobs that are below my skill level. I used to have such high hopes for myself in my 20?s. Now, in my early 40?s, I have no motivation and can?t stick with a job. My husband owns a business and he has a lot of money and I can basically write my own check from his account each month, as long as I come to his store and help out. But it has to be within reason. If it gets too much, I get lots of questions as he pays all of the major bills. I am still stuck with insurance, food, things for the kids, and anything else that comes along and as we all know it adds up! I don?t do manicures and massages, my clothes are old, I always say No to my kids (or so it seems) and I try to buy everything on sale and with coupons. I don?t do anything irresponsible, other than drink. I HAVE bought lots of supplements, healthy food, and Antabuse. That?s probably my downfall. I also have found it hard to say no to my kids when drinking, and I buy fast food too much. What a cycle!
OK, so for anyone out there that?s good with money or might know anything about loans?.I bought a house outright when we separated. My husband basically gave me a settlement and I bought the house so I wouldn?t have a mortgage. I now rent it to a friend, who loves living there but can?t afford to buy it and begs me not to sell it to anyone else. She will be there at least another 18 months and then I might try to sell so I have cash to pay off my bills. But hubs might try to get that cash because he won?t trust me with that much money in my account. Please don?t ask why we have separate accounts, we always have and that?s just how its been with us.
Between my rent and what I normally get from my hubs each month, would be fine to take care of my share of bills and things each month. But I can barely scratch the surface of my credit cards! We are building a house and he is always telling me to ?go buy this, go buy that? because he thinks I have no balance on my cards and that he will just help me pay for it later. My cards are almost to there limits, so there will be a point where I will have to say ?I can?t?. That will be then end. The end of my marriage, the end of my short sobriety and maybe the end of my life. :upset:
The stress is enough to make me go crazy. I do want to drink to forget this problem, but I know in reality this is how I got so in debt. It sucks because we do have the money to take care of the debt, I just don?t have access to it.
Ok, chew me out. Tell me how you don?t feel sorry for me because we have money and I just need to suck it up and get a real job. I need reality to slap me in the face.
It wouldn?t be hard for him to pack up and leave, because I already did it to him. 3 years ago, I convinced myself I was no longer in love with him because he was controlling and a tad narcissistic. But I really wanted to drink whenever I wanted. My God I was so miserable. There was NOTHING fun about the year we were apart and he begged for me to come home. I finally did and I can?t imagine leaving him ever again. I love him dearly.
Here is the deal, I have no job. My self esteem is in the toilet and I keep taking jobs that are below my skill level. I used to have such high hopes for myself in my 20?s. Now, in my early 40?s, I have no motivation and can?t stick with a job. My husband owns a business and he has a lot of money and I can basically write my own check from his account each month, as long as I come to his store and help out. But it has to be within reason. If it gets too much, I get lots of questions as he pays all of the major bills. I am still stuck with insurance, food, things for the kids, and anything else that comes along and as we all know it adds up! I don?t do manicures and massages, my clothes are old, I always say No to my kids (or so it seems) and I try to buy everything on sale and with coupons. I don?t do anything irresponsible, other than drink. I HAVE bought lots of supplements, healthy food, and Antabuse. That?s probably my downfall. I also have found it hard to say no to my kids when drinking, and I buy fast food too much. What a cycle!
OK, so for anyone out there that?s good with money or might know anything about loans?.I bought a house outright when we separated. My husband basically gave me a settlement and I bought the house so I wouldn?t have a mortgage. I now rent it to a friend, who loves living there but can?t afford to buy it and begs me not to sell it to anyone else. She will be there at least another 18 months and then I might try to sell so I have cash to pay off my bills. But hubs might try to get that cash because he won?t trust me with that much money in my account. Please don?t ask why we have separate accounts, we always have and that?s just how its been with us.
Between my rent and what I normally get from my hubs each month, would be fine to take care of my share of bills and things each month. But I can barely scratch the surface of my credit cards! We are building a house and he is always telling me to ?go buy this, go buy that? because he thinks I have no balance on my cards and that he will just help me pay for it later. My cards are almost to there limits, so there will be a point where I will have to say ?I can?t?. That will be then end. The end of my marriage, the end of my short sobriety and maybe the end of my life. :upset:
The stress is enough to make me go crazy. I do want to drink to forget this problem, but I know in reality this is how I got so in debt. It sucks because we do have the money to take care of the debt, I just don?t have access to it.
Ok, chew me out. Tell me how you don?t feel sorry for me because we have money and I just need to suck it up and get a real job. I need reality to slap me in the face.
) are seeking.
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