Sobering Thoughts

[briseus]

Sobering Thoughts

Thank you Supercrew. What you said does make sense to me and I am grateful for the advice you have thus far given me.

He does support me 100% with my sobriety...I honestly think that I have co-dependent tendencies when it comes to my relationship with my boyfriend.
I guess it doesn't help that every single day I sit there and say "Oh, today is day __" -- "oh hey - today is day __" ... :/
I keep looking for approval, praise...attention. Bleh.

I do see growing old with him. I love him with all my heart. I guess - as many people say - I shouldn't be making rash decisions so early in sobriety. Because I do get irritable and do think too much at times.

I did have a long talk with him and things seem to be going a lot better. He is trying hard, I can see that. I don't want him to change...but I want him to put a little more into the relationship in general...not entirely to do with sobriety...but you know what I mean.
He is amazing. With past relationships that weren't that great...I really love what we have together even though sometimes we have our disputes and differences.

But you are right Supercrew...he doesn't have a problem; I do. So I can't expect him to jump up and down for every day that I have sober...as I keep stringing them along alcohol is in the back of my mind.

Thanks again for the advice.

[Sunbeam]

Sobering Thoughts

My husband of 30 years once said about my drinking, "That's your problem." Sounds rude, but he is correct. I haven't even told him now that I have quit, he has heard it so many times before. I was drinking recently mostly alone, not with him. He probably knew I was drinking, and just left me alone, since he did not think it was a good idea. Now he will sit with me more and chat about whatever.

[briseus]

Sobering Thoughts

I always blamed everyone around me for my drinking Sunbeam...I understand what you are saying - my boyfriend would say the same thing. When I told him I wanted to get sober for 30 days he would say "we'll see"...harsh...but true. Because I said it a billion freakin' times.

I finally realize now that it was my drinking that created problems between the two of us.
Our relationship is so much stronger. He actually talks to me now...where before he wouldn't because he wouldn't know if I was drunk or not...I usually was.
He was so disappointed.
I was so bitchy...the alcohol changed me.
He didn't know me anymore - he said I had changed. I did.

Sobriety in general is better...but when your relationships start to repair themselves because you give up alcohol...well, that is huge...and something that you need to hang on to. I am glad I am doing that now.

[Sunbeam]

Sobering Thoughts

I am glad you and I are both are hanging onto sobriety. My drinking didn't really pick up until we had been married about 20 years, so at least my husband knows who I really am.