AA and Confidentiality

[treetops]

I attended another 2 AA meetings this week. OK, but was appalled that afterwards a long-term member spoke to me about an AA member and named this lady (who was not there). I know this woman professionally. This is not what I expected from AA.
I am not looking for excuses to stay sober - but I need help about how AA works.

[akgirl]

AA and Confidentiality

I thought you could only use first names?

[Rusty]

AA and Confidentiality

Treetops,

I am so sorry you had this experience but it is SO typical of my experiences with people from AA. I have never been to an AA meeting, however, in the last 25 years, in the course of going to parties, weddings, community events, etc. in different parts of the country, I have met people in AA who spoke of fellow members using first and last names. Their nonstop gossiping was deplorable. To date, I have counted 12 incidents over 25 years where members spoke to me about other members in their group. My response was, "aren't you supposed to keep things confidential in AA?" They response was silence so I think they got my message. If this happens to you again, I would say the same thing if I were you. Also, I would mention this in the AA Thread under the Monthly Abstinence Forum. You will get a good response there. Keep posting and reading. We're here to help.

[mario]

AA and Confidentiality

TreeTops this imo is how AA works, I went to a few meetings and read lots about AA,I never did the 12 steps nor any spiritual work,But going to AA for me was a great tool and it certainly helped me in my goal towards sobriety.Practically nobody looks forward to going to their first AA meeting. In most cases this in fact is an occasion of extreme shame, dread and despair.Nobody wishes to require the help that can be provided by AA, nobody wishes to be an alcoholic, and as a result virtually everyone attending their first meeting wishes that they were someplace else doing something else. It is in fact an act of great courage to walk into an AA meeting for the first time. Many people with severe drinking problems simply lack the courage to take this first step under any circumstances. They commonly hide their fear by saying every excuse under the sun.Also No two AA groups are alike,There is an enormous diversity among groups reflecting unique features of the particular group and the individuals who constitute it,One of the meetings I went to was attended to by a very rough crowd always ?,But we all had that one thing in common and that was to stop drinking alcohol.AA meetings do not take attendance or keep membership roles. It is traditional to identify oneself by first name only. All meetings include a reminder to keep everything that is said in the meeting confidential.But people being people a lot of people like talking, and with that one always has to keep in mind when attending not to divulge to much if any personal information about oneself,Bit like here for some people really.Anyway that's my tuppence worth Good for you TreeTops that you have tried and if your still uncomfortable about AA,There are other self help groups around in which you can try out,The main thing is don't quit quitting :goodjob:

[Wildflowers]

AA and Confidentiality

I attended AA for 7 yrs off & on. Experienced what you have spoken of, by one of my ex sponsors. Plus again at other times. Also found it deplorable! Told her so to! She wasn't pleased with my honesty either! Which they so highly preach about!...

However, the program (12 Steps, 12 Traditions & Fellowship Are Separate Experiences,imo) Different sponsors, different meetings are all different experiences. I wouldn't trade any of them today!.... As I also have had many positive & valuable life growing, teaching experiences, still have a couple friends too. Still glad people suit up & show up!... I know the doors are there, if I ever need them.

Also know there are other organizations available & have attended just a handful of them, in the past. Whatever helps you in your journey to accomplish your sobriety goals!...

I completely agree with Marioman's Post. It's not because I like him either! I am my own person!

[nancy]

AA and Confidentiality

rules of the brotherhood

So if you are in the AA club, the confidentiality clause applies? I thought that was for when you were around outsiders.
In any case, let's not fool ourselves here, AA is far from anonymous, how could speaking publicly in front of a room of strangers ever be anonymous? As someone else wrote, people are people. They like to talk. You could never control all that.