How do you enjoy your party witout Alcohols?

[dixon]

Hi all,
I am trying to find the way out to enjoy the party without any drops of an alcohol.May be I should go for googling to get more information.I was trying to get coping skills while I was meditating.But hardly got only one.
Therefore,I want to know from anyone who has already used any enjoying techniques with out Al or someone who has knowledge from any reliable sources.
For me,
I am thinking the moment when I could relapse so it is one,I could not imagine suffice for coping/enjoying skills.
Let's think,
A big party is going on,everybody is having drinks and all the drinks are free of cost.You see everybody enjoying perfectly.And you are feeling alone without any friend,family member to join with you and largely isolated by all.
What would be the possible coping skills with you at that fragile time?
Thanks for sharing.
Dix

[mario]

How do you enjoy your party witout Alcohols?

Dixon at the start or early days of my sobriety I stayed away from social functions where alcohol was the main attraction, I just didn't trust myself with the huge temptation that surrounded me, So I stayed away. It was about 4/5 months before I actually went out to one and in saying that I had an escape plan ready and waiting,So imo for now,just now,if you can avoid going don't go.

[Daya]

How do you enjoy your party witout Alcohols?

Dixon

I find the thing that helps keep me sober at parties, is the remeberance(or what people have told me afterwords) of the absolute moron i made of myself...

Seriously, and I am definitively no expert, I find drinking tonic water with lemon to be great, also grape juice with Tonic water. I will also sometimes get a mocktail. It tastes as yummy as an achohlic one, but no problems. I know if I start on wine, then I'm usually gone...

I am often in the position at conference functions, where i dont know anyone, the booze is flowing freely. I have sort of just stayed centered, focused on the people, and I have actually had a much better time socially sober. I think you should explore and question the thoughts that everyone drinking is having a good time, and that you cant without it...watch those thoughts arise, and question them.

Good luck.

[dixon]

How do you enjoy your party witout Alcohols?

Mario,
Thanks for your success trick...
In my case I don't like avoid any party meeting and conference whatever you say and have tolerance to stay AF as well.
But want to enjoy it in fullest being sober.There is no problem to stay AF but the question is how to enjoy a whole day without any gossips etc.where you find :everyone is boozing.

Daya,
Yea,of course they are some wonderful tips to remain AF.My assumption is that I can stay AF but how to enjoy it for long hours...if you eat foods you like how much can you do for that whole days?
If you want to talk with someone he/she may not enjoy with you because one has already alerted his/her mind with booze.
So it could be a difficult task to spend the long hours.
So,for example can we serve the people who are having drink,or just involve to clean up the venue(there is no possibility if there is another organizer),or just be busy with listening,reading etc....but I don't think these activities would be entertaining.
So any ideas which can offer pleasure for this lengthy boaring period.Think of you can't left the programme until it finishes.
Difficult question,may be?
Dix

[itsmytime]

How do you enjoy your party witout Alcohols?

I am with Mario on this one, as it takes time to retrain our brain. But if you can't or really don't want to miss it the only thing is to brave it and do whatever you have to do. I make myself the designated driver, if there's dancing I'm never off the dance floor. Remind yourself how wonderful and stronger you will feel the next day for not drinking.

It's a challenge the first months, I was thinking to myself why did I pick Summer with all the get togethers, but I did wait until all our vacations were over. Meanwhile, nursing hangovers, having to have the hair of the dog and all generally feeling unwell due to partying.

Is there really a perfect time to quit, yes NOW!!

[Sober Visitor]

How do you enjoy your party witout Alcohols?

Hi Dixon,

I agree 100% with Mario! Sometimes we can make it through an event surrounded by AL without drinking, but find that the obsession to drink has been reignited and can take on legs of it's own in the coming days as we replay it in our heads. It can also talk to us subliminally. Slips don't just happen. They happen because we put ourselves in risky situations that trigger them. There's a saying that's been used on this board before that says it all for me. If you hang out in the barber shop long enough, eventually you are going to get a haircut.

I think if you must go to these things so early on in your sobriety, you absolutely need to have a plan in place.

1. Eat before the event even if there's going to be food there. Most of us prefer drinking on an empty stomach, and eating after we've gotten our buzz.

2. Decide what you are going to drink before the event and bring your own if you must. Be sure to always have a drink of whatever it is you've decided to drink in your hand, so that no one will be tempted to push AL on you.

3. Decide ahead of time what you are going to say to people if they ask why you're not drinking and practice saying it ahead of time so that it rolls off your tongue. It will make it easier to stick to your plan during the event instead of flying by the seat of your pants.

4. Offer to be a designated driver as IMT suggested.

5. If you're good with a camera, maybe you could also be the designated picture-taker. It will be a way to keep your mind and hands busy but still allow you to socialize.

6. Seek out the non-drinkers and light drinkers and stick close to them. Do not hang out with the "party animals."

7. Have an exit plan.

This is the scenario that you presented in your post that concerns me.

dixon;1353221 wrote: A big party is going on,everybody is having drinks and all the drinks are free of cost.You see everybody enjoying perfectly.And you are feeling alone without any friend,family member to join with you and largely isolated by all.
What would be the possible coping skills with you at that fragile time?

If that's how I was truly feeling, I would try to flip it aroud in my head:

A big party is going on and everybody is getting drunk on the free drinks. Many of them are getting loud and obnoxious, staggering and slurring their words. I am so glad I have the good sense to know that getting drunk and acting like that is not fun. I am so proud of myself for not drinking. I will wake up with a clear head and conscience. They will wake up with a hangover and regrets.

If I could not flip it around in my head, I would leave. This event, as important as it may seem in the moment, will soon be a distant memory. I cannot allow my sobriety to become a distant memory too. It always has to come first.

Sheri

[dixon]

How do you enjoy your party witout Alcohols?

itsmytime;1353330 wrote: I am with Mario on this one, as it takes time to retrain our brain. But if you can't or really don't want to miss it the only thing is to brave it and do whatever you have to do. I make myself the designated driver, if there's dancing I'm never off the dance floor. Remind yourself how wonderful and stronger you will feel the next day for not drinking.

It's a challenge the first months, I was thinking to myself why did I pick Summer with all the get togethers, but I did wait until all our vacations were over. Meanwhile, nursing hangovers, having to have the hair of the dog and all generally feeling unwell due to partying.

Is there really a perfect time to quit, yes NOW!!

Itsmytime,
Thank you for all of your advices.
It's my fortunate that I can stay al free whole the party so there is no reason to avoid it.The only concern is how to make it enjoyable.Yes,of course dancing can be a part of romance.I think I must keep me enjoying with non AL activities.
That's great!
Dix

[dixon]

How do you enjoy your party witout Alcohols?

Sheri,
Great idea to be a designated driver like offering foods,making other people dancing,being camera man,socializing with non AL people,helping people with
disabilities,May be involve in operating programme if it is a formal one or any????
Thanks

Hi Molloyka,
Though we have non AL thoughts,still there is chances of relapse...so need to be well planned and equipped.
Oh,Sheri says Barber shops story,I now remember a stimulus response theory .Where a market analyst said that if you see any thing continuously which you don't like at first starts liking after a while.Any repetitive advertisement make us buying even if we are not in .It's better to have a exit plan, Sheri says.
So many ideas learnt.
You all are great !!!
I do hope others also come up with their experiences.
Dix

[Supercrew]

How do you enjoy your party witout Alcohols?

Early in my sobriety I went to alot of parties and get togethers where booze flowed, and I got by by having an exit strategy if needed, I always kept a non-alcoholic drink in my hand, I used my imagination to make myself believe that anything that resembled alcohol was warm urine, and believe it or not I talked alot about why I wasn't drinking and all the positive benfits I was seeing.

The more I was engaged in why I wasn't drinking the easier it was not to drink and stay strong. Now I didn't tell people that my life was a wreck and my marriage was on the brink, but I spoke about the healthful benefits I was seeing, and how I wanted to see how healthy I could feel, etc.

Now going to parties or drinking functions is extremely easy for me and I truly enjoy them sober.

[dixon]

How do you enjoy your party witout Alcohols?

Superscrew,
Congratulation to you for your sober days and sober minds...
A Sober mind only can give so many productive advices to others like me...
I wonder if you share how do you enjoy yourself please?
What activities do you involve to spend time and give you the fun as well?
Thanks for more sharing,
Dix

[baclofan]

How do you enjoy your party witout Alcohols?

dixon;1353221 wrote: Hi all,
A big party is going on,everybody is having drinks and all the drinks are free of cost.You see everybody enjoying perfectly.And you are feeling alone without any friend,family member to join with you and largely isolated by all.
What would be the possible coping skills with you at that fragile time?
Thanks for sharing.
Dix

What was the question again...'How do you enjoy your party without Alcohols' ...within the above scenario the answer is...you don't !..sorry to mess up with your (hypothetical) party above...

[Supercrew]

How do you enjoy your party witout Alcohols?

dixon;1353516 wrote: Superscrew,
Congratulation to you for your sober days and sober minds...
A Sober mind only can give so many productive advices to others like me...
I wonder if you share how do you enjoy yourself please?
What activities do you involve to spend time and give you the fun as well?
Thanks for more sharing,
Dix

I guess "fun" for me is a little different now that I am 44 as opposed to in my 20's. I love to play, watch and coach sports. Competition is my fun. I also have fun spending time with my 12 year old son and my wife, walking the dog and working out.

I found out a few years ago that everything I do can be considered fun if I want it to be. I used to believe that I could only be having fun if I was drinking and drunk. That is the reason why I stayed drinking for 27 years. I had to change my mindset and realize that I get to decide what is fun. Drinking is not fun for me anymore. Fun can be working in the yard and getting stuff accomplished at work, fun can be watching a movie or working out at the gym, or fun could be sitting with my family on a couch watching TV. I have found that I enjoy talking to people about living a healthy lifestyle so I find that fun. I like talking about sports, football and baseball in particular, so that is fun for me. I am going to the horse track next week to gamble, and I am going surfing, I used to do both drunk, but they are just as fun if not more when I am sober.

So really what do I do for fun? I wake up and appreciate the fact that I am alive and sober, and the fun starts. And then I wake up and do it again. Fun is in your mind just like happiness, you decide whether you want to enjoy it or not. It's really terrible it took me 27 years to figure it out.

[dixon]

How do you enjoy your party witout Alcohols?

Superscrew,
You have given the definition of the word fun so clearly that it depends age to age,man to man level of understanding,hobbies,life style,society and family and so on..now it makes a sense to me thanks.
So I also can tell you not to spend time in regretting the past and focus on present.Anyway you are Sober now that's your life not the earlier one.
Best of luck for your sober and happy Family life.
Dix

[dixon]

How do you enjoy your party witout Alcohols?

[QUOTE=baclofan;1353522]What was the question again...'How do you enjoy your party without Alcohols' ...within the above scenario the answer is...you don't !..sorry to mess up with your (hypothetical) party above...[/QUO

Hi baclofan,
Sorry to messing you up with my word party.it's really stands for celebrating a moments out side where many people get together for a special function like marriage,conference,club outs etc...so your input in this place is highly regarded.
Dix

[Supercrew]

How do you enjoy your party witout Alcohols?

dixon;1353559 wrote: Superscrew,
You have given the definition of the word fun so clearly that it depends age to age,man to man level of understanding,hobbies,life style,society and family and so on..now it makes a sense to me thanks.
So I also can tell you not to spend time in regretting the past and focus on present.Anyway you are Sober now that's your life not the earlier one.
Best of luck for your sober and happy Family life.
Dix

Thanks Dixon, and don't get me wrong, I don't regret the past, because I have been able to learn from it and find my happiness. It would be regrettable if I was still in the same place.