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    Seeking another way out !!

    Hi all,
    I am 76 days AF without any Al craving.
    One after another I am lurking in the problems.
    Guys, I am a father of two ,14 and 10 years children.I got married once and now broken up with my wife one year and a couple of months back.They are living apart from me in refugee camp.
    I am paying maintenance cost to the children which is 20 % of my total income after tax.
    I made a decision to get marry with a new lady who had a divorce with her husband in her very early age of 16 and never married to anyone she is 37 years old social worker.
    I have given her a word that I will be marrying with her very soon while I was drunk.She lives in my birth place which lies in Asia and I am living in the UK.
    When I became AF, I am not willing to marry with her but would like to re establish a relationship with my wife .Meanwhile new lady is following me very badly.She is now depressed and suicidal. She is feeling ill and telling me she cant live without me , if I don't get marry with her she will die at her own wish but at my name behind the scandal.But I am sure I cant be happy with her so want to focus on my sobriety now.
    I have not given divorce to my wife as well and can't accept her at the moment .
    What a terrible moments is with me.Either I can accept my broken wife or can marry with new one ?? .I would have been married with new one if I still would have been enjoying with alcohol.
    I am worried, what would happen if she gives her life up at my name ??
    Any guidance please ?.Will I be prosecuted in this case and go to prison???
    Thanks for sharing .
    Dix
    A learned habit surely be unlearned !!

    2012: Continuous AF for 7 months from May to Oct.

    Big Relapses : 6th November and 12th December 2012.

    2013 : So many ups and down !!

    2014: Has a conviction to stay with a healthy life.

    #2
    Seeking another way out !!

    Dixon, sorry to hear you're feeling under pressure. I don't feel equipped to give you advice on this one. Nor do I know how things work in your culture; but I do know you need to protect yourself and your sobriety.
    I hope someone can help you out. Take care.......
    IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO BE WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN
    Relapse starts long before the drink is drunk!!.Fresh Start!

    Comment


      #3
      Seeking another way out !!

      I donlt think someone else killing themselves b/c of you is a crime......maybe she is not serious but trying to scare you??
      I love my family more than alcohol.:h
      Live in the Solution....not the problem

      Comment


        #4
        Seeking another way out !!

        daisy45;1354800 wrote: Dixon, sorry to hear you're feeling under pressure. I don't feel equipped to give you advice on this one. Nor do I know how things work in your culture; but I do know you need to protect yourself and your sobriety.
        I hope someone can help you out. Take care.......
        Hi Daisy,
        I definitely will keep up my sobriety and noted your motivational words as I highlighted in red.I hope someone having such a problem or experience will lend me a big hand !!
        Lets hope to sort out ...
        Anyway I wont be able to solve all of them without a sober life .
        Dix
        A learned habit surely be unlearned !!

        2012: Continuous AF for 7 months from May to Oct.

        Big Relapses : 6th November and 12th December 2012.

        2013 : So many ups and down !!

        2014: Has a conviction to stay with a healthy life.

        Comment


          #5
          Seeking another way out !!

          mama bear;1354802 wrote: I donlt think someone else killing themselves b/c of you is a crime......maybe she is not serious but trying to scare you??
          Hi Mama,
          I am just worried about killing herself and its consequences to my life !!!
          She might have recorded our telephonic talk when we had a romance, sharing of life ,future plan and my commitment of marriage to her..
          I want to help her to make her alive and happier but don't know how can I manage all of them at a time ?

          What would happen if she kills herself ?? .. you say it is not a crime ,let's see how do others say ??
          Dix
          A learned habit surely be unlearned !!

          2012: Continuous AF for 7 months from May to Oct.

          Big Relapses : 6th November and 12th December 2012.

          2013 : So many ups and down !!

          2014: Has a conviction to stay with a healthy life.

          Comment


            #6
            Seeking another way out !!

            it would be horiible Dix, don;t get me wrong, but you have done nothing illegal...but I am NOT an attorney
            I love my family more than alcohol.:h
            Live in the Solution....not the problem

            Comment


              #7
              Seeking another way out !!

              Please correct me if I am wrong Dixon, but aren't you already married? That means you can't marry the new lady. Tell her you are trying to work things out with your wife. People that threaten suicide as a means to secure a relationship rarely mean it. I'm no expert, just speaking from what I've seen in the past (several times).

              Good luck.
              :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

              Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

              Comment


                #8
                Seeking another way out !!

                Yes, you are right Mama,
                But I have no control others life so may not be a crime !!
                If I wont be AF now , think what would be for me ??? OMG !!
                Thanks MWO and you all ,its really an ordeal for me !!!
                Everything happening together .
                Anyway I have to manage .
                Thanks for your support.
                Dix
                A learned habit surely be unlearned !!

                2012: Continuous AF for 7 months from May to Oct.

                Big Relapses : 6th November and 12th December 2012.

                2013 : So many ups and down !!

                2014: Has a conviction to stay with a healthy life.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Seeking another way out !!

                  K9Lover;1354846 wrote: Please correct me if I am wrong Dixon, but aren't you already married? That means you can't marry the new lady. Tell her you are trying to work things out with your wife. People that threaten suicide as a means to secure a relationship rarely mean it. I'm no expert, just speaking from what I've seen in the past (several times).

                  Good luck.
                  Yup , K9 I am a married man with two grown up children.
                  I felt alone , once we broke up and started living separately and made a relationship to new lady.I was trying to know each other but she became too close due to my name and fame back to country of origin.She insisted me time to time and I have leaned with her to make me comfortable at that time.When I started a sober life, I can now live alone as well so don't think of any life partner other than the old one....
                  I believe change is not always a solution !!
                  I have done all these shits at a time in my life time !!
                  K9, how you doing,are still on antabuse ?
                  Dix
                  A learned habit surely be unlearned !!

                  2012: Continuous AF for 7 months from May to Oct.

                  Big Relapses : 6th November and 12th December 2012.

                  2013 : So many ups and down !!

                  2014: Has a conviction to stay with a healthy life.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Seeking another way out !!

                    Not my particular area of expertise, but I don't think you want to marry someone who emotionally blackmails you.
                    My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Seeking another way out !!

                      Sunbeam;1354855 wrote: Not my particular area of expertise, but I don't think you want to marry someone who emotionally blackmails you.

                      Having a long breathing of comfort Sunbeam !!. But it would be a horrendous and shocking moment for me if somethings happens to her. do you think people allow me to live further ?
                      Dix
                      A learned habit surely be unlearned !!

                      2012: Continuous AF for 7 months from May to Oct.

                      Big Relapses : 6th November and 12th December 2012.

                      2013 : So many ups and down !!

                      2014: Has a conviction to stay with a healthy life.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Seeking another way out !!

                        I agree with K9, people who say these things don't carry through, you need to believe that.
                        My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Seeking another way out !!

                          You met the 'new lady' Dixon while you were drinking and clearly she is emotionally unstable. She needs a counseling NOT a new husband, IMHO .

                          I do not know of any country in this day and age which would arrest you or jail you for someone else's suicide... Maybe in the middle East , in a tribal community perhaps but I think you said you live in the UK.

                          You have gotten Sober and unfortunately have to face bringing an emotionally unstable person into your life. I am really sorry. Her threats if she is serious, would notvstop ifvyou married her. They would get bigger and weirder...

                          Trying to rebuild with your wife looks like the most , best choice for you though the hardest.
                          if you are stil worried for your safety or your reputation, go see an attorney. Tell you're ffriends what s happening too. maybe even your wife?

                          Here in the US when someone threatens your livelihood like that it borders on extortion.

                          I know I sound grim but you have worked SO HARD. I hate to see this clearly awful woman who cares more about herself than you, threaten you sobriety and family.

                          Hugs,
                          :l:h
                          On My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
                          *If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
                          https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html tool box
                          https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html newbie nest

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Seeking another way out !!

                            Kradle123;1354875 wrote: You met the 'new lady' Dixon while you were drinking and clearly she is emotionally unstable. She needs a counseling NOT a new husband, IMHO .

                            I do not know of any country in this day and age which would arrest you or jail you for someone else's suicide... Maybe in the middle East , in a tribal community perhaps but I think you said you live in the UK.

                            You have gotten Sober and unfortunately have to face bringing an emotionally unstable person into your life. I am really sorry. Her threats if she is serious, would notvstop ifvyou married her. They would get bigger and weirder...

                            Trying to rebuild with your wife looks like the most , best choice for you though the hardest.
                            if you are stil worried for your safety or your reputation, go see an attorney. Tell you're ffriends what s happening too. maybe even your wife?

                            Here in the US when someone threatens your livelihood like that it borders on extortion.

                            I know I sound grim but you have worked SO HARD. I hate to see this clearly awful woman who cares more about herself than you, threaten you sobriety and family.

                            Hugs,
                            :l:h
                            Kradle123,

                            Your words seem a bit of bitter but very true in reality.I also want to live in reality but becomes too emotional time to time.
                            How inspiring words you gifted to me !
                            You are a star Kradle , keep it your journey up, world is in need of people like you,what you need is just to be sober always .
                            Thanks,
                            Dix
                            A learned habit surely be unlearned !!

                            2012: Continuous AF for 7 months from May to Oct.

                            Big Relapses : 6th November and 12th December 2012.

                            2013 : So many ups and down !!

                            2014: Has a conviction to stay with a healthy life.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Seeking another way out !!

                              Kradle and all,

                              I love her as a social worker and not a future wife because she helped me out a lot to see me a good man again.
                              So how can I trouble her ?
                              Dix
                              A learned habit surely be unlearned !!

                              2012: Continuous AF for 7 months from May to Oct.

                              Big Relapses : 6th November and 12th December 2012.

                              2013 : So many ups and down !!

                              2014: Has a conviction to stay with a healthy life.

                              Comment

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