Trying to move forward...

[briseus]

I am having a particularly hideous day after the eventful week I have had...and it is taking a lot for me not to drink as I sit in the bathtub - hiding - crying.
I have been going through an emotional roller coaster the past month...trying to deal with all of it and it's shit without drinking.

The boyfriend and I have been trying to get a vehicle so we could get around town and get to work but were declined. Wow. What a blow. I didn't think it would have affected me this much but we were so excited and now I am just so sad and feel like life sucks.
It seems like nothing is going my way - this sober living.
I feel like a shell of a person...I don't know.

I can't promise I won't drink...
I am just so f**king sad right now.
What would I do if we were trying to get a house or something.
My gawd...

I know it is materialistic. I know that...
But don't try to tell me that now or drill it into my brain because I simply do not give a shit at this moment.
I am just trying not to drink...

[Sunbeam]

Trying to move forward...

You just need to remember that drinking would make you forget some of this for a short time, but in the long run it would make you feel worse. Alcohol is a depressant. That's why you do not want to drink. Just keep repeating this to yourself.

[NoraC]

Trying to move forward...

Sunbeam is right. Using alcohol to numb the pain doesn't really work. You know that because that's why you're here. :l Just hang on to us tight. Let's just take it one step at a time. :h:h

[LibraryGirl]

Trying to move forward...

Briseus, I am really sorry that your plans did not work out. That really sucks!! Keep looking, and maybe there will be something more affordable advertised in the classifieds, or through word of mouth. You will probably not get what you want, but there are older model cars that are a lot more affordable, I think.

Use this time that you've got to look at your newspaper's classifieds online or something. Don't give up, and maybe you'll find that you see something you and your bf might be able to get, and also find that you've been concentrating on something other than AL. (((hugs))))

[briseus]

Trying to move forward...

Thanks guys.

I'm not drinking.
And you are all right - if I drank I'd still have to deal with the shit the next day but with a hangover.
Relearning how to deal with all these emotions again proves tricky.
I really miss my family in times like these.
Not only do I have to sit through all of my own emotions but the boyfriends too. It was so easy to numb myself in the past...and dismiss others hurt as well.
Now I feel my own hurt plus his...like I'm taking it on.
If that makes sense.
It's not just the car. It's the ppl around us who will ask where it is and blablabla.
I feel more for my SO then myself right now.
I wish that I could take his disappointment away.
I don't know why men in general think it's some sort of character defect when things like this happen.
I need him to be strong right now.
We need to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and move forward.
Or at least trudge along for now.
We are on vacation too. What a way to start it.

I will hang on tight to you guys.
Thanks for listening.

[dixon]

Trying to move forward...

Bri,

I am sorry that you have problem with you.In this case, just remember that AL is not ready to abuse you only in the your down/sad time but it is happily want to serve you at your happy hour too.So please never give this a try to abuse you.
And please don't think of others just listen your body and soul , others are beyond you and not in your control.What you can control is you and your emotion so trying Al to numb the pain is just surrendering you into AL tricks ...Don't take me otherwise hang on...
This is the best way as you already accepted.
Dix

[Supercrew]

Trying to move forward...

First of all Bri, realize that your situation is probably better than 90% of the people in the world. Not getting approved for a car really isn't that big of a deal. Yes it seems like the worst thing ever, but the reality is it's just a small bump in the road. Your perception is making it much worse.

Now I'm not really sure why not getting the car you want would make you want to lose your sobriety. It would make me think about others ways to make money so I could get a car. Alcohol is the solution to nothing. And in my 27 years of drinking alcohol never made me feel better about a bad situation, and it normally intensified the bad feelings I was having at the time. Stay sober, happiness will come.

[mauritiusdodo]

Trying to move forward...

Bri :l disappointment for me seems magnified by the lack of AL in my life but actually all it is is I am not used to feeling my feelings (IYKWIM) it is horrible being refused finance and you must be upset if you had set your heart on a car, I really wanted to get a conservatory but they are beyond our reach financially at the moment, could you maybe set up a savings scheme based on the money you are saving by not drinking and then you will be on the way to having a deposit maybe?

Sending you love and :l you can get through this, it is a minor setback and you are a strong woman, you definitely do not need AL to cope

[mama bear]

Trying to move forward...

That's what we alkies have to learn...how to deal with the ups and downs of life....SOBER
and it's hard some times...but drinking won't make it any better sweetie
I know you know that, and I am thinking of you

[Meech]

Trying to move forward...

Stay strong Bri. for yourself. I'll send good vibes your way!