I haven't been on in awhile. My brother's death has consumed a lot of my time. You never really know how much there is to do until you're the one who has to take care of it I guess.
I've come to tell you the results of my brother's autopsy. I would like to think the enormity of what drugs and alcohol did to him will help someone stay sober. He was a 30 year old beautiful man with big tattoos and a hearty laugh. His hobby was his christmas tree farm where he mowed and we had bon fires every week. His real job was working as a "sand hog" in the NYC tunnels. He was an avid dog lover and rescued dogs in their last hours from the kill shelters and paid the expenses to find them homes. He was a biker and he already had a bad motorcycle accident 2 years ago that nearly took his life. He was drunk and broke 30 bones , required numerous surgeries and was in the ICU for 6 weeks. I was there every day. It was a two hour drive. He was amazing.
He died in a horrific accident on June 13th. He had just found out he was having a baby and got back together with his girlfriend. He bought her a beautiful orchid and he left for work (overnights). The police came to my other brother's house and he was identified by his many tattoos and his drivers license.
He had apparently been driving too fast, hit several cars before losing control and hitting the cement abutment under an overpass. He was ejected and pronounced dead at the scene, covered with a yellow tarp. I drove 2 hours to see him, to learn anything I could and the medical examiner would not let me see the body. I was devastated. We couldn't have the funeral until 3 weeks later because it was still under investigation He was directly cremated from the medical examiner's office.
I received the autopsy and toxicology reports yesterday. I would like to share them with you.
Injuries:
extensive fractures of face and scull
lacerations of brain and brainstem
subarachnoid hemorrhage
transection of thoracic spine and spinal cord
bilateral rib fractures (all ribs crushed and collapsed lungs)
fractures of sternum and left clavicle
contusions and lacerations of both lungs
lacerations of heart and great vessels
transections x3 of aorta
lacerations of liver and spleen
lacerations of mesenteric adipose and intestine
transection of both renal arteries and left renal vein
laceration of bladder
laceration of pancreas
missing pituitary, adrenal and parathyroid glands due to injuries
anterior and right sided pelvic fractures
dislocation of left shoulder
open fractures go both thighs, left ankle and tibia,
numerous abrasions, lacerations and contusions of skin
cardiomegaly (enlarged heart due to alcoholism and prescription drug use)
Intoxication by the combined effects of alcohol and oxycontin
His blood alcohol was .29
His oxycontin level was 1500
He didn't learn from his DWI, or his horrible motorcycle accident. He just didn't stop. I am still in touch with Joani Gammel the interventionist that wrote the book. She is helping me make a plan and perhaps sue the pain doc, idk.
My main point is this: I talked about my brother constantly, I knew he was going to die. But it takes my breath away that is really happened. I will never be the same, I am changed forever. But I have God on my side keeping me sober most of the time and walking with me through this journey of grief.
Please look at my story and see that our habits are literally killing us. We don't get unlimited chances. I am forever changed and will never be the same.
Thanks for reading my nightmare.
I am blessed to have your support. I have more of a reason than I have ever had to be sober and I pray to God I can maintain it. I have slipped since he died but I am on the right track. I hope you are too.
Comment