7 days sober!

[Helix]

This is the longest I have gone in 10 years. It is amazing and frightening at the same time.

Amazing because I am regaining focus. I actually remember appointments and things people tell me. I am noticing I remember names a bit better after introductions. I don't feel the need to stay up until 2am every night until I am properly trashed so I can pass out. I am taking care of bills, obligations, and making goals and plans toward the future.

I am however suffering from acute insomnia which appears to be getting worse each day. How long can I expect this to last? It is driving me crazy already. My dog even looks at me when I get up in the night like "Again? Really?". I am noticing a bloat in my stomach and I think I am constipated now. I exercise like crazy and that is very frustrating to me as I am pretty fit and skinny and now have this odd bloat. I figured that I would loose the rest of my belly fat after quitting drinking. Now it looks worse!

Also I don't feel that it is safe for me yet to go to bars or the other drinking related things I did with my friends so I am utterly freaking bored. I am trying to find things to do with my time but honestly I seem to be bored with anything before I even try it. Also I am noticing a hit in my self esteem. I used to be the life of the party and didn't give a sh!t what anyone thinks and I had gobs of circles of friends. All of a sudden I feel quite lonely and secluded. Perhaps it is just an adjustment I need to go through. I realize capturing sobriety and living it means a complete turn around from the way the drunk me lived. I just hope I can do it and maintain.

Then there is the side effects of the Bac. I seem to be suffering from two major effects so far that I can pinpoint; solomance and a lessened libido. The solomance is ridiculous some times. I have never been able to sleep in a chair but now I am almost forced to lean back and take a 45 minute snooze in my office each day. Also thankfully I don't have a GF right now because I doubt I would be much use. That actually has me very concerned but my plan is to log some significant sober time then cut way back or off the BAC completely so hopefully whatever is going on in that department isn't permanent.

My goal is 60 days. I am on day 57 of Bac and am up to 150mgs (35, 35, 35, 35 and 10mgs before bed). It is absolutely amazing the way is staves off my cravings. I have a bottle of Vodka sitting in my freezer that ordinarily I would be guzzling as fast as possible in any given night but it has been sitting in there and I look at it every time I get ice to put in my water. Instead of "DRINK ME NOW A$$HOLE, NOW, NOW, NOW!!!!" its "drink me please". I can totally fight the minor craving quite easily. It is more like I am a little hungry and it is a piece of candy. Not I am starving for days and it is a T-bone steak and potatoes. It really takes little effort and I don't even give it a second thought by the time I close the freezer door. Truely Amazing! I don't believe I have hit the "switch" but I am convinced now it exists.

Not many people in my life know about this journey I am on. I doubt many of them would understand. To the couple of friends I have told I get: "Just cut back drinking, sounds simple to me" and "Your taking a muscle relaxer? Sounds like your just substituting another addiction." I guess thats why I am spilling my beans here. I am hoping that you guys will understand and give me a push where I need it. I am 36years old and I have wasted so much time in the bottle. I have a failed marriage, relationship, several jobs lost and I can attribute it all to booze. I just want my fucking life back! If I need pills as a crutch to do it for a while, so be it! I am in it for the long haul this time!

Thanks for listening and any advice is much appreciated,
Helix

[paula]

7 days sober!

Hi Helix, just like to say well done, can't offer advice as I don't know much about the meds. Good luck on your journey, I can certainly recommend it.

[Wildflowers]

7 days sober!

:welcome: To MWO Helix & Big Congrats On 7 AF Days!

Yes, it's amazing & frightening all at the same time! But, hang on for the ride, because you will continue to become a healthier & happier person! As one of my Captains says, we all have to "Pay The Price Of Admission". Another words lack of sleep won't kill you!... However, continued heavy long use of alcohol can! Let alone alcohol is a depressant, can change who we really are & robs us of so many ~ many things in life. It 's going to take some time for your body ~ brain to adjust it's self. But look at you, your already in a very short time reeling in more positive gains here. Paying bills on time, making goals & plans towards the future. Remembering names & so on! This is fantastic!.... Believe us who've been in & out of the hamster wheel it's way better staying sober!... Much healthier & happier life!

As for bloating this is normal, or it was for me. What helped me was adding fresh squeezed lemon to my water. It makes me burp. Helps rid the body of toxins, also turning it less acidity. I swear by it. I had to get use to the taste. Great for you on exercising! I sure wished I would have stopped this fecking madness at your age or even 40. But, I'm out now & staying out. I'm just thankful, I now accept, I can't & will never be able to drink alcohol safely, as I'm an alcoholic. Tho I'm a brilliant, beautiful, kind one at that.

There are some great, smart, kind, wise people on the meds boards who take Bacolofen, who can answer your ??? Cos is super nice & smart, there are others to. At least I think Cos takes it or has? Also the Newbies Nest, Under Just Starting Out. You aren't in this journey alone & you don't have to ever go thru it alone either. Look you have one of the best animals ever to help you at home, a dog. I love them so very much!...

You will get your 60 days & more, if that's what you Really want! Just wait you are going to feel fantastic most the time & on the bad days we will help you! We understand friend!... You will get your life back. When the devil, the fecking bastard in the bottle comes calling, tell it, him, she, it, to go to HELL. No Feckin way are you stealing my life from me!... Well, that's what I do! Yea Haw :l

[Wildflowers]

7 days sober!

The other thing I forget to mention that has helped me with bloating is, a good Probiotic. Preferably one that's in the organic refrigeration section. I take Nature's Way Primadophilus Optima. It's a 14 strain blend true potency 35 billion CFU's. It's a bit spendy, but then all the money I spent on booze was more. I deserve & am worth getting healthy!... Alcohol is full of sugar & causes yeast to build up in our guts. Not saying you have this problem. But, some people do & it takes time for the yeast to die off.

Take Care :h

[Sober Visitor]

7 days sober!

Congrats on 7 days Helix! Sounds like you're doing everything right and are well on your way to reclaiming your life! :yay:

Try not to worry too much about the boredom and other things. Your body still has plenty of healing to do, but you'll get there in due time. I didn't take the medication, which may be causing some of your issues, but I did struggle with the screwy sleep patterns for about 6 months. Ultimately, I learned that we just have to be patient with ourselves and trust the process.

Keep posting about your progress and focusing on all the positives, just like the song.

You've got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between

You've got to spread joy up to the maximum
Bring gloom down to the minimum
Have faith or pandemonium
Liable to walk upon the scene

The way I see, it doesn't matter how bad my day is, if I go to bed sober, it was a GREAT day!

Sheri

[dixon]

7 days sober!

Helix;1368020 wrote: This is the longest I have gone in 10 years. It is amazing and frightening at the same time.

Amazing because I am regaining focus. I actually remember appointments and things people tell me. I am noticing I remember names a bit better after introductions. I don't feel the need to stay up until 2am every night until I am properly trashed so I can pass out. I am taking care of bills, obligations, and making goals and plans toward the future.

I am however suffering from acute insomnia which appears to be getting worse each day. How long can I expect this to last? It is driving me crazy already. My dog even looks at me when I get up in the night like "Again? Really?". I am noticing a bloat in my stomach and I think I am constipated now. I exercise like crazy and that is very frustrating to me as I am pretty fit and skinny and now have this odd bloat. I figured that I would loose the rest of my belly fat after quitting drinking. Now it looks worse!

Also I don't feel that it is safe for me yet to go to bars or the other drinking related things I did with my friends so I am utterly freaking bored. I am trying to find things to do with my time but honestly I seem to be bored with anything before I even try it. Also I am noticing a hit in my self esteem. I used to be the life of the party and didn't give a sh!t what anyone thinks and I had gobs of circles of friends. All of a sudden I feel quite lonely and secluded. Perhaps it is just an adjustment I need to go through. I realize capturing sobriety and living it means a complete turn around from the way the drunk me lived. I just hope I can do it and maintain.

Then there is the side effects of the Bac. I seem to be suffering from two major effects so far that I can pinpoint; solomance and a lessened libido. The solomance is ridiculous some times. I have never been able to sleep in a chair but now I am almost forced to lean back and take a 45 minute snooze in my office each day. Also thankfully I don't have a GF right now because I doubt I would be much use. That actually has me very concerned but my plan is to log some significant sober time then cut way back or off the BAC completely so hopefully whatever is going on in that department isn't permanent.

My goal is 60 days. I am on day 57 of Bac and am up to 150mgs (35, 35, 35, 35 and 10mgs before bed). It is absolutely amazing the way is staves off my cravings. I have a bottle of Vodka sitting in my freezer that ordinarily I would be guzzling as fast as possible in any given night but it has been sitting in there and I look at it every time I get ice to put in my water. Instead of "DRINK ME NOW A$$HOLE, NOW, NOW, NOW!!!!" its "drink me please". I can totally fight the minor craving quite easily. It is more like I am a little hungry and it is a piece of candy. Not I am starving for days and it is a T-bone steak and potatoes. It really takes little effort and I don't even give it a second thought by the time I close the freezer door. Truely Amazing! I don't believe I have hit the "switch" but I am convinced now it exists.

Not many people in my life know about this journey I am on. I doubt many of them would understand. To the couple of friends I have told I get: "Just cut back drinking, sounds simple to me" and "Your taking a muscle relaxer? Sounds like your just substituting another addiction." I guess thats why I am spilling my beans here. I am hoping that you guys will understand and give me a push where I need it. I am 36years old and I have wasted so much time in the bottle. I have a failed marriage, relationship, several jobs lost and I can attribute it all to booze. I just want my fucking life back! If I need pills as a crutch to do it for a while, so be it! I am in it for the long haul this time!

Thanks for listening and any advice is much appreciated,
Helix

Ditto and may be more for me ! .I were losing my hope but coming here doing well .It took two years to be AF for the first time 105 days.I dint think of life without Al so were too much worried on how will I spend rest of my life without booze.Now thinking how to get recovered with mentally ,though I am now fit physically.
We can do friend..Best of luck !!
Dix

[Guitarista]

7 days sober!

Well done Helix.

It is very important to keep going and push through when feeling weak, now you have begun your exciting journey. You will feel fabulous in time. Persistence and patience, and a daily plan of action that you can handle. Great to see you here. Keep it going at all costs.

Have a read of our https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

This can help your thinking.

G.

[DriftyAlison0]

7 days sober!

WTG Helix! The two week mark is real tough for a lot of people so prepare for that and have a plan in place to remain sober for this week and beyond.

[cpn1004]

7 days sober!

Seven days is a big deal for us everyday drinkers. Congratulations. The insomnia will go away Good luck on your journey.

[Struggles 106]

7 days sober!

Hey Helix

Good for you! Stay strong and keep going.

[DriftyAlison0]

7 days sober!

Another thing, do tell people. I held it back to only me in the past and it all lead to failing. Telling people that you quit, will help and if at the end of the day they don't want you to stay quit, then perhaps they are not your true friends because true friends would support you. Heck I have friends at the pub that understands that I quit and they support me, heck if I were to want to drink there, I would have to fight the bartenders and the people there because they know that I don't drink anymore. I am even friends with the owner. I have had a friend tell me that she would slap me if she saw me with booze again (and she wouldn't be the only one). So go out and tell, it will make your quit a little more easier and you will get more support.

[Helix]

7 days sober!

That?s what I thought. I have a good friend I train with regularly in the gym and racing. I made it clear to him that I intended to (alcohol detox) for 60 days at least. After a run yesterday I got "sure you don't want a beer at least six times".

My friends really don't understand. But I am sure that is common. I have never been and "Out of control" drunk. They don't really see me drinking as a problem. Little do they know that after those 7 or 8 beers at the bar I go home and pound 12 more smoke some pot and pass out every night.

It is hard. All these feelings and emotions I don't understand are surfacing. I am bored out of my skull in the evening and am wondering if I can even maintain any sort of social life for a while. I have a beach bash tomorrow and I know everyone is going to be drinking. It is a new group of friends that I have been training with and have never hung out with before. It will be completely alien to me to not be drinking with them to socialize and get to know each other. But you know what? I intend to try, even though I am quite certain I will come off, at least in my eyes as lame..

Oh well.. new life, new hurdles, will persevere, no choice..
Day 8..

[jenniech]

7 days sober!

I am on day 13 and the past two days have been the WORST....I don't get it....I am getting enough sleep, exercising, eating right. But I have such irritability and a headache....It doesn't really make sense to me because I was a high bottom....yes, i drank everyday, but only at night - about a bottle a night....i guess that is a lot but this headache and persistent anger/irritability is getting on my last nerve. There were a few times today when I told myself that it is Saturday so I deserve to have some wine....but why would I do that? I know I would feel even WORSE tomorrow for it. And then I would have to start all over again.

Husband wanted to go to dinner as a family tonight but I said NO WAY. I mean, it sucks to not have an enjoyable time with my family. But I would either be miserable because I wasn't drinking or miserable because I would be drinking. So, forget it! I am just going to stay home and send them to the movies without me. I will just sip away at my seltzer and juice and bide my time until I can go to sleep. I am so annoyed about how I am feeling!!!
Sorry, just had to vent

[Helix]

7 days sober!

Thats exactly how I feel about every other day. I am just so irritable and bored and restless and alone I hardly know what to do with myself. Everything I did revolved around drinking. I keep telling myself just make it through today. Eventually I'll have to learn how to live without booze. Just make it through today..

I made it through the beach bash yesterday without any alcohol by the way. Possibly one of the hardest tests of my will power since I quit. Perfect weather, trucks blasting music on the beach, tons of hot Crossfit chicks in bikinis, grills fired up with steaks.. It almost seemed un-American not to drink with the boys. I somehow did maintain my will power.

But actually met a model and hit it off with her pretty well, got the # and we have been chatting. I took it as a sign that even though I am not drinking I am still in the game and my wit is sharper so my charm is better. Pehaps I used to look like all the boys did yesterday. Sloppy and acting foolish.. Actually I think the good ladies probably prefer a guy that isn't a party animal.

Anyhow I think when I finally get the reigns on my emotions which seem to be simalar to a firehose on full blast that nobody can grip. I think once I do I can find a nice girl and settle down and stop this insanity.

Wish me luck.. Today is day AF Day 11.. A world record for me..

[jenniech]

7 days sober!

That is totally awesome Helix!!! Having a cross fit model as a girlfriend should give you all the motivation to stay sober that you need!!!