Is anyone having luck with moderation?

[199days]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

Just My two cents, but 99% of people that post about moderation on a recovery type forum are people in plain denial. Me and my friends have tried/been through this moderation thing many times, its just a silly game trying to convince ourselves we can drink 2 glasses of wine 3 times a week, hanging on to the romantic idea of drinking.

Gotta see drinking for what it really is, just because people have enjoyed alcoHELL for hundreds of years( minuscule amount of time, in the grand scale of things) does not make it right. People have been brainwashed and conditioned to think they have to drink a hard poison alcoHELL to enjoy life. Things are changing and more and more people are waking up to the con in which it is.

Have a nice day all !

[Cashregister]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

LibraryGirl;1369195 wrote: I have never nor am I going to start recruiting people to try moderating alcohol. "Moderating agenda" is absolutely absurd and offensive. This thread asked, has anyone had success moderating. Therefore, I offered my own experience and not in any detail. Someone posted "true modders don't see a problem" and that was where my rebuttal came in, and yes it has been said numerous times before. I won't argue whether abstaining or modding is the best route. Obviously for some people there is no choice.

I am offended and disgusted that you would suggest that I am trying to steer ANYONE down a path that may be harmful. When a thread about MODERATION starts and I offer my own experience, I hope the o.p. is intelligent enough to listen to both sides. I think we are all over 21 here.

Hear hear.

[LibraryGirl]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

LillyE;1369200 wrote: LG, I'm not going to engage with you on this any further as it's not helpful to anyone, least of all the original poster, except to say that, IMHO, it is you who has responded in an aggressive manner.

Yes, I agree LillyE. It is not helpful, and I am sorry that I responded. If this wasn't meant for me, then I apologize...[LillyE wrote: "I also feel that anyone who's been kicking around here awhile should realize this and be a bit more sensitive to it regardless of their own moderating agenda."]

Group hugs all around.:l:l

[Byrdlady]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

Wow...I was thinking about this after I posted, and then I read the additional comments which reinforce what I'm about to say...in fact, 199 was spot on, IMO....

When I first googled this site, I had a BAD problem and was ready to do something about it. I latched on to the moderation hope like flies on a sandwich. Clinging to that hope and chasing that dream really cost me a year...not to mention the affects on my job, my health, and the final ultimatum from my husband. Clinging to that hope was exhausting and eventually fruitless. For someone new coming to this forum like I was....I was willing to ignore the 99% who said it wouldn't work and follow the 1% who were trying it. I did NOT want to give up AL. If I really read between the lines, they weren't really succeeding at all...it was like semi-controlled chaos. We were setting rules, but breaking them more than not. We were all in MAJOR DENIAL at the time. It is amazing and frightening what you are willing to ignore in order to drink. Moderating cost me a year that I could have been recovering.

The question was asked: Is anyone having luck with moderation? Answer...it depends on who you ask.

[FlyAway]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

Byrdlady;1369364 wrote: Wow...I was thinking about this after I posted, and then I read the additional comments which reinforce what I'm about to say...in fact, 199 was spot on, IMO....

When I first googled this site, I had a BAD problem and was ready to do something about it. I latched on to the moderation hope like flies on a sandwich. Clinging to that hope and chasing that dream really cost me a year...not to mention the affects on my job, my health, and the final ultimatum from my husband. Clinging to that hope was exhausting and eventually fruitless. For someone new coming to this forum like I was....I was willing to ignore the 99% who said it wouldn't work and follow the 1% who were trying it. I did NOT want to give up AL. If I really read between the lines, they weren't really succeeding at all...it was like semi-controlled chaos. We were setting rules, but breaking them more than not. We were all in MAJOR DENIAL at the time. It is amazing and frightening what you are willing to ignore in order to drink. Moderating cost me a year that I could have been recovering.

The question was asked: Is anyone having luck with moderation? Answer...it depends on who you ask.

Byrdie I am with you 100% in knowing that moderation will not work for me. But the truth is that the hope of moderation is probably what made many of us come to this site. If we had read that there is no hope of moderation on Day 1, I'm sure many of us would have just moved right on by. Would you have stayed and followed the program?

I also think that many of us who come here want the insanity to stop, but aren't really at the place we need to be to stop completely. I think that some good can come from attempts and failures to get our drinking under control. I came here about a year ago and probably tried 3 or 4 times before getting to where I am now. And even though I thought I wanted to quit when I first came here the truth is that I wasn't really where I needed to be. I thought I was, but once I truly got "there" I knew that things were different. The journey here helped me get "there." I think it would be a unique individual who comes here 100% ready to give up alcohol totally from his or her life and to never look back.

[lagataloca]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

I have never seriously given moderation a chance before. Just saying to myself I need to cut back w/o formulating a plan has no chance at all for me, for any habit. So we shall see, if I mess up then I have promised myself I will HAVE to go to complete abstinence, and that for me is not any different than taking anti-buse to abstain, as the rules are not negotiable.

[Cashregister]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

199days;1369288 wrote: Just My two cents, but 99% of people that post about moderation on a recovery type forum are people in plain denial. Me and my friends have tried/been through this moderation thing many times, its just a silly game trying to convince ourselves we can drink 2 glasses of wine 3 times a week, hanging on to the romantic idea of drinking.

Gotta see drinking for what it really is, just because people have enjoyed alcoHELL for hundreds of years( minuscule amount of time, in the grand scale of things) does not make it right. People have been brainwashed and conditioned to think they have to drink a hard poison alcoHELL to enjoy life. Things are changing and more and more people are waking up to the con in which it is.

Have a nice day all !

Hundreds of years, heard of the Amcient Greeks? Apparently they liked a bit of the old Grape juice themselves.

Brainwashed and conditioned...had a look at your all or nothing thinking lately?? There are more types of people than addicts or addicts in denial. And if you have to be one or another to be here on this forum then, IMHO, that's bullshit.
You people scare me..I'm off you'll be very pleased to hear...better help elsewhere...like my doctor and my family.


.

[FlyAway]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

Cashregister;1369380 wrote: Hundreds of years, heard of the Amcient Greeks? Apparently they liked a bit of the old Grape juice themselves.

Brainwashed and conditioned...had a look at your all or nothing thinking lately?? There are more types of people than addicts or addicts in denial. And if you have to be one or another to be here on this forum then, IMHO, that's bullshit.
You people scare me..I'm off you'll be very pleased to hear...better help elsewhere...like my doctor and my family.


.

There's no need for you to leave. I think there's room for all of us here. 199days is posting from his or her "truth." Your truth is different. I'm sure that some people who come here are not as far along the alcohol path as 199 and may have a chance at moderation. But many who come here are well advanced down the path and cling to the hope of moderation when it's really not possible. It's up to each of us to determine our own path. I hoped that mine would be moderation when I got here, but after a year I know the truth. And I'm happy with that. And it looks like you're happy with yours. You can help people determine their truth as well and help those who are capable of moderating if you stay. But it's up to you. I wish you well either way.

[Cashregister]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

That wasn't a personal truth it's an ideology that wears me down and winds me up. I don't need that right now, I am dealing with lots of grief in my life and im doing it AF on purpose- I learned that years ago from lovely people like you fly away who thought there was more to life than obsessing about ideologies - everyone needed some level of help...not everyone was either/or. Unfortunately majority rules at present. I wish RJ was still around.. If she's AF or whatever I don't care..she was a constant voice of reason when this sort of rubbish got spouted

[pixie]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

FlyAway;1369378 wrote: Byrdie I am with you 100% in knowing that moderation will not work for me. But the truth is that the hope of moderation is probably what made many of us come to this site. If we had read that there is no hope of moderation on Day 1, I'm sure many of us would have just moved right on by. Would you have stayed and followed the program?

I also think that many of us who come here want the insanity to stop, but aren't really at the place we need to be to stop completely. I think that some good can come from attempts and failures to get our drinking under control. I came here about a year ago and probably tried 3 or 4 times before getting to where I am now. And even though I thought I wanted to quit when I first came here the truth is that I wasn't really where I needed to be. I thought I was, but once I truly got "there" I knew that things were different. The journey here helped me get "there." I think it would be a unique individual who comes here 100% ready to give up alcohol totally from his or her life and to never look back.

FlyAway expressed exactly where my thoughts are, and more eloquently than I could have said it. When I first came here, would I have stayed if the idea of moderation was off the table? Absolutely not, and I hate to think where my drinking would be right now, if I didn't have this place.

That said, I appreciate others' views on this - it's an issue that comes with a lot of conviction, for good reason - it's life or death in some cases.

This is a place for support, for everyone who comes here. Not just for the newbies, but for all of us. When we start expressing our views in ways that are not supportive of other members, then it will only have a negative impact.

[FlyAway]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

Cashregister;1369389 wrote: That wasn't a personal truth it's an ideology that wears me down and winds me up. I don't need that right now, I am dealing with lots of grief in my life and im doing it AF on purpose- I learned that years ago from lovely people like you fly away who thought there was more to life than obsessing about ideologies - everyone needed some level of help...not everyone was either/or. Unfortunately majority rules at present. I wish RJ was still around.. If she's AF or whatever I don't care..she was a constant voice of reason when this sort of rubbish got spouted

I am not a lover of stiff ideology either. It turns me off and turns me away. I understand where you are coming from.

[Struggles 106]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

TAKE A DEEP BREATH

Let's all settle down a bit. Everyone here has a valid experience/opinion. If moderation is what you want to do then by all means do that.

There was a time when I would say I was envious of people who could moderate their drinking habits. Now I am not envious, as I have a clear understanding of what alcohol
means for me. Which is of course nothing good at all.

I have met people who have, say 2 beers, and they just say "that's my limit." Sometimes it seems it's because they are driving, sometimes because they are physiologically wired to NOT want to be drunk.

For me drunkenness was/is the goal. Sad but true. I do have the crutch of AB, and I'm really glad that I do right now.

This is such a wonderful place for wonderful people, and fortunately these small brouhahas are few and far between.

Peace and happiness this weel to all

[madmans]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

Cashregister;1369380 wrote: Hundreds of years, heard of the Amcient Greeks? Apparently they liked a bit of the old Grape juice themselves.

Brainwashed and conditioned...had a look at your all or nothing thinking lately?? There are more types of people than addicts or addicts in denial. And if you have to be one or another to be here on this forum then, IMHO, that's bullshit.
You people scare me..I'm off you'll be very pleased to hear...better help elsewhere...like my doctor and my family.


.

199 is entitled to his/her opinion with out anyone jumping all over it
The OP was "Is anyone having luck with moderation?" respond to that question and let other people give theirs without fear of been singled out.

[bicyclesurfer]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

1st! Librarygirl, I apologize again for suggesting that "true modders don't need help" What I meant was that people who have no problem with alcohol, (or don't see a problem) they don't usually get online and start searching for MWO or any other place for help, because they don't see a problem. Who reads diet books if you don't have a weight problem?
Now Im not going to argue with you about whether or not you have a problem with AL or not, you will learn one way or the other, but Im with you that you are more than welcome here to figure your own thing out.
I do agree with Byrdlady, Flyaway, Pixie and 199days, SO MANY of us have suffered SO MUCH, we love you and don't want to see you or anyone else go thru it. Thats all.

and
Hate to say this but here goes: Cashregister, You will get WAY more help on this forum than most doctors or family members can or will give you. Uninformed? You bet!
No need to take offense.
No sure what the Ancient Greeks thing proves? If you think THEY had some sort of wisdom, again thats very misinformed, but maybe you meant something else.
Many come here to MWO (myself included) on various levels of WHAT ALCOHOL HAS DONE TO THEM!
Stick around , you will learn something! I promise!
Everyone has an opinion, don't be so sensitive!
Have you been drinking? (just kiddin)

Bike surfer

[LibraryGirl]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

I think the reason these kind of threads (about Moderation) get out of hand is because when anyone who moderates even posts anything at all, others chime in without being asked or even engaged. It's the superiority thing that is so unbecoming, and the fact that the minority is forced to defend themselves. Maybe someone should post (another?) thread entitled "Wages of Sin and The Pitfalls of Moderating". Then many of these posts would be truly relevant.