Is anyone having luck with moderation?

[bicyclesurfer]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

Hey Cashregister, I apologize for the total misunderstanding. Ive learned that whether its me or you, its what the drug does to people.
If this forum is what you say it is, move on.
No ones judging you.
I agree with patrice. Just seeking help and I too think its been helpful.
But if there is ANYONE else that has taken offense, Im sorry!

Librarygirl, You are right (technically) I have not been in your shoes. That too offends people. But we are talking about Alcoholism, maybe we do understand each other? Who knows, maybe not.

Finally: Never forget the old Oriental Proverb: First the man takes a drink, then the Drink takes a drink, then the Drink takes the man (or women). Find out where you are, get help and escape. NO ONE NEEDS alcohol to be happy. Its simple drug addiction, and who can control drugs? The drug controls you.

Peace, Bikesurfer

[choice]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

I have to say I'm always impressed by people who can moderate successfully. I'm also not surprised when they do it for a while and then have trouble (only because that was me). I think if your worried about it... joining a moderation thread would be the way to go... and I'd post as much as you can about your experience. That way you can look back and see if it's really what you want. I tried to moderate before finding this forum and I found it tough, it really bummed me out that I was unable to do it successfully. Sure most nights I was fine... it was the times I got drunk that caused me to many regrets. I just hated how I felt the next day. I got to a stage where I didn't want to drink more then I wanted to drink. It's a process and it's different for everyone. I think it's an important step to moderate... to see.... sorta how AL really affects you personally. I just found going AF tough at first but now my life is so much easier. Best of luck with what you decide to do.

[littlepinkcat]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

I remember the wise words of one man i know:

" an alcoholic can not moderate, if he does moderate he was actually a heavy drinker and not an alcoholic".

[LibraryGirl]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

That was a wise man, lpc.

[Cashregister]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

bicyclesurfer;1369525 wrote:

and
Hate to say this but here goes: Cashregister, You will get WAY more help on this forum than most doctors or family members can or will give you. Uninformed? You bet!
No need to take offense.
No sure what the Ancient Greeks thing proves? If you think THEY had some sort of wisdom, again thats very misinformed, but maybe you meant something else.
Many come here to MWO (myself included) on various levels of WHAT ALCOHOL HAS DONE TO THEM!
Stick around , you will learn something! I promise!
Everyone has an opinion, don't be so sensitive!
Have you been drinking? (just kiddin)

Bike surfer

Still don't see what exactly you are apologising for?
Uninformed - no apology
Judging me - no apology
Having an opinion- no apology
Ancient Greece- no apology
Have I been drinking? - no apology
My family can't help me - no apology
How people like you make this site inaccessible for anyone without your opinion - no apology
I said the MAJORITY on this site - no comprehension

Seems to me that an instant apology here makes it ok to crap all over someone...

Just my opinion...I'm not angry...but I don't give apologies for nothing. Look up Socrates he may be able to help...

Apologies to those who get this.

[Byrdlady]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

I should have taken a page out of my dear friend's playbook and not gotten involved in this....but no aplogies now.
This was a question about our opinions. We are giving them. It's boiled right on down to 2 polar opposites (reminds me of politics, but I digress...). Most of us abbers have given our opinions...I just looked back at this whole thread and the attacks that are being made have been from a handful of folks who throw rocks at us, then retreat and say how badly they were assaulted. This reminded me of a passive aggressive I had as a roommate in college, so I looked it up just now. A Passive Aggressive has the following traits:
*Fear of being alone...solicits all opinions.
*Fear of Intimacy...picks fights to create distance
*Ostructionism...prevents progress from being made
*Fosters chaos
*Sulking....he/she is always the victim
In the time I've been at this forum, there have been more fights picked in the last 6 months and downright below-the-belt hits than I've ever seen. We had a really BAD fallout in the Newbie's Nest, of all places! These instigators only mission seems to be getting people upset...and they move on, unscathed.
I have become intolerant of intolerant people! To the folks who are attacking opinions ...opinions we have earned a right to share, you aren't doing anyone any favors. We all have the right to speak without attack.

[Cashregister]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

BTW Mr BS I'm assuming you're from the USA. Your founding fathers were very fond of Greek wisdom...but then again most of them were atheists/agnostics - go figure...

[littlepinkcat]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

there often seems to be a lot of anger on this website in many ways not just on this thread, i wonder if people took the anger they had and used the adrenaline to do something positive if they would find it more beneficial than letting the anger boil their blood

[Cashregister]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

Byrdlady;1370381 wrote: I should have taken a page out of my dear friend's playbook and not gotten involved in this....but no aplogies now.
This was a question about our opinions. We are giving them. It's boiled right on down to 2 polar opposites (reminds me of politics, but I digress...). Most of us abbers have given our opinions...I just looked back at this whole thread and the attacks that are being made have been from a handful of folks who throw rocks at us, then retreat and say how badly they were assaulted. This reminded me of a passive aggressive I had as a roommate in college, so I looked it up just now. A Passive Aggressive has the following traits:
*Fear of being alone...solicits all opinions.
*Fear of Intimacy...picks fights to create distance
*Ostructionism...prevents progress from being made
*Fosters chaos
*Sulking....he/she is always the victim
In the time I've been at this forum, there have been more fights picked in the last 6 months and downright below-the-belt hits than I've ever seen. We had a really BAD fallout in the Newbie's Nest, of all places! These instigators only mission seems to be getting people upset...and they move on, unscathed.
I have become intolerant of intolerant people! To the folks who are attacking opinions ...opinions we have earned a right to share, you aren't doing anyone any favors. We all have the right to speak without attack.

Oh wow a pseudo psychiatrist to boot....that list sounds like an alcoholic, believe me I grew up with one. Is moderating ones drinking really this hateful? Btw I've only been here a month this time - long enough to see nothing has changed in some quarters.

[Cashregister]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

FarfallaP;1369114 wrote: Hi Raven,

So far, moderation seems to be working OK for me. I posted my story, about my fatty liver being healed, in the section for stories, in case it interests you.

Several thoughts...

1. I was truly scared for my life/health.
2. It was really hard work, to change my thoughts and my behavior.
3. I have a supportive environment and a pretty stress-free life.
4. Recurring health checks give me a concrete assessment of my progress...this is a fact, not a moral judgment.
5. I suspect my shut-off valve may be in better working order than the one some other folks have.

Like many who come to MWO, it was the moderation aspect which appealed to me, and that the program did not seem to be a one-size-fits-all approach.

I think we are all lucky to have found it, and I am very,very grateful. FF

No one quotes this...I wonder why??

[Cashregister]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

Unscathed - do you realise how much people get hurt because their opinion isn't majority rules round here - its hurtful, it's unwarranted, and yet they are the aggressors because their opinion is not the majority opinion? Stick up for yourself, you are passive aggressive - wow - and you don't intend to hurt anyone by saying that??
Is this running away btw ? I hardly have the strength to deal with the fact that my father is dying, but this place is so compartmentalised it's highly unlikely that you know that, but I have the courage to say that this thread is out of line and out of touch. The newbie thing has nothing to do with this - I didnt even know what happened. Give your opinion, great - and its a valid one - but to cast aspertions at others for voicing theirs, and then to further cast aspersions at those who defend their opinions, is pure hypocrisy. And then to try and and label those who don't have your opinion as having a psychological illness - how low can you really go??

[Struggles 106]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

WTF?

SO sorry for all you are going through CASH REGISTER---BUT you have expended an lot of energy here in a very negative way.

THis could have been let go a LONG time ago. To each his/her own

[Cashregister]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

Oh bollocks. Your definition of negative energy is different from mine...I'm supposedly negative because I say other peoples opinions are valid? - I'm negative because I was called out on what my opinion was and was given an invalid response? You are not sorry for what I'm going through, you do not know me. My energy is negative to you so be it - but to come on this thread and label people as mentally ill because hey have an opposing OPINION is the most NEGATIVE thing I've seen on this site ever,

When all the people in this world can honestly say to each his/ her own, let alone on this thread, I will be well pleased.

[choice]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

I hadn't really read through the whole thread when I posted... Then I sorta skimmed it now only just enough to get the vibe. All I know is anytime moderation is questioned it can really start a heated debate. Constructive or not it really seams to be what always seams to happen. I can only say, when I came here I really wanted to know about moderation because I probably wouldn't have given this a shot if that wasn't an option. Once I went AF I felt pissed off when moderation was brought up because it was something I personally wasn't able to do. I'm past that now. just because I can't do that doesn't mean others wouldn't be able too. Who cares if someone wants to moderate? Isn't that their choice? Does it make people mad who just can't seam to get control and do it too? I think that's what use to make me mad.. but I couldn't admit it... Moderation scared me.. but it's not scary. Any attempt to deal with a problem is a good thing right? As an abber, if I can't accept that people will continue to drink no madder what I think they should or shouldn't do.... then I think that's a problem too. I personally need to be AF... and I always have to type that.. or say it because it confirms my decision that works best for me.

[Cinders]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

Wow, Choice. What a great post.

Some of us can moderate and some of us can't.

It is that simple.

I can't but I won't tell someone else not to try. If someone comes here and can moderate, GREAT!!, if someone comes here and realizes they can't and end up abstaining, GREAT!!

End of story.

Cindi