Is anyone having luck with moderation?

[Cashregister]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

Brilliant choice and cinders got it - the voices of reason. Thnks xxx

[littlepinkcat]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

i believe different strokes 4 different folks, personally moderation does not work 4 me, but if it works for u then who am i to disagree

[nancy]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

moderation

I always thought harm reduction was a more appropriate term for what people are trying here. I think it does get very dogmatic when it comes to moderation and I think that's because a lot of people have experience with rehabs and AA here. This is the traditional abstinence only model that someone here has pointed out a lot of people fail with.
Now there is one thing I want to point out about moderation, and I think it's something I read in the Heart of Addiction by Lance Dodes. He covers a lot of what people wrote on this thread very eloquently. My biggest beef is the fact that psych problems are viewed as excuses as opposed to reasons. But for a lot of people this is really not a physical addiction at all, it may not be a daily addiction, it may not even be life-threatening and it may not be progressive. If it was just physical it would be so easy to kick. Moderation loses meaning even if it's working, that is even if you have a few, if you still have that emotional dependency. In other words if you allow yourself a few because that's your way to unwind or cope, you are still addicted. You are still highly emotionally addicted, and in the view of that book, that's what real addiction is.

[Struggles 106]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

WOW

OK CR have it your way, since clearly you are always right. I'm not sorry for what you;re going through, if that's what you want to believe.
But believe me I am sorry that you are obviously miserable and argumentative.

You are right aboiut everything. I'm done

[Cashregister]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

That's why I don't drink when I have an emotional crisis...that's why I came back for a few chats and a few laughs and a few challenges. I do not come back to be sounded out for moderating, I've been doing it for years, and not drinking in a crisis is the definition of being moderate IMO.
See ya all later my husband has banned me you'll be pleased to hear!

[littlepinkcat]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

aww cash register thats a shame that ur husband has banned u ,especially if u were getting help nd support here, hopefully u may come back on MWO one day and hopefully people can agree to disagree, its what suits u at the end of the day, AF SUITS SOME MODERATING SUITS OTHERS, PEOPLE NEED TO STOP ARGUING ABOUT THEM AND SUPPORT OTHERS ON THIS SITE WHO R STRUGGLING

[Cashregister]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

Hey I have so much to deal with LPK ( and no I'm not being passive aggressive and looking for sympathy!) and I'm doing well, I agree and I'll be back for sure but life is really hard at the moment and I shouldnt be worried about this...stuff!! Sorry if I came across negative folks, it may be that I just call I as I see it...all I can do...same with you

[littlepinkcat]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

hi cashregister i didn;t think u were being passive agressive, and looking 4 sympathy, we were just chatting nd it is nice to see anothers point of view and stand in their shoes metaphorically, i'm an abstainer, modding didnt work 4 me i just got blitzed, but its interesting to see how it works 4 someone else. i hope ur life struggles get easier, (easy 4 me to say i know, but i hope they do)

[Cashregister]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

Hey LPk maybe we can go on chat sometime...I'm just banned from this thread ...hubby sick of me getting all worked up and he's right!! the passive aggressive comment was aimed elsewhere don't worry

[Cashregister]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

He's asleep right now ;-)

[littlepinkcat]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

cashregister yeah PM me sometime nd we can chat, i'm off out to AA now, speak soon , pinky

[Wildflowers]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

One of a few reasons it took me so long to join this site was because of all the bickering I saw go on about this subject, over a span of 6 yrs. Mainly it was just me & my own life problems. One time I was sober for a good period, had more clarity, but mainly other times not. I just lurked & followed certain peoples posts who spoke to me, from time to time. One being Marioman, who keeps much of his emotions out of it. Answering & guiding Raven2012 to the appropriate part of this site, where she may find support & help. I really appreciated DrinkingGals 1st post. The simplicity of Choice's post & summarizing of Cinders post too. I even admire & wished I could be better at this. Something to work on.

I also loved what Kradle said one time is that "no post go's un-wasted here". I found all the posts valuable as we all are good people just trying to find our way. Even Doo Doo said the other day we all just want to be loved. Well I think most of us do. The last time I pinched myself it hurt. The last time I picked blackberries, I was poked by a thorn, I bleed.

I think sometimes this really is a about control issues, egos. Life outside of this website, we often have things going on that we don't have a lot of control over, so it may be easy to go on the Internet & just let it out, trying to control making us feel more secure. I also agree with Nancy that mental & emotional health issues are very real!!!! Sometimes this may be what's behind the real problem & has been driving it all a long. I've have them myself. Tho with lots of work, I'm much better today!.... Tho lucky me I have the physical part of this disease to "nucleus accumbens". Just saw my PDr who's a board certified in addiction, yesterday. Yippie

I harbor no ill towards anyone here trying to moderate, use harm reduction or who are still drinking. I'm very happy for anyone who doesn't have my illnesses. Even happy for those who can truly moderate. Also am happy there is a place for those who aren't alkies who have a place of support & help, that are problem drinkers, but aren't alkies. Very occasionally jealous now. My jealousy use to be part of what kept me stuck. I'd have to go back to my drinking days in my teens, 20's ~ 30's. As in my 40's it was rare that it was still fun drinking for me. Alcoholism is reoccurring & progressive disease imo. I also understand that for some it can take much time to figure out where they fit, what they want, where they are going. Yet, today I don't want to be around drunk people!!!! I'm fine being around people who drink 1 or two at this time.

With all this being said I'm not one to permanently join groups, but read different ones here & there. I didn't understand what the purpose of the Newbies Nest was, nor did read there often. Just happened to pop in there one day read & post. As Byrdie read a post of mine & offered her heart & hand to help me. She is a very ~ very kind, smart & funny woman, she even gives her phone # out to new people she doesn't know, just in case they need help anytime. She & others devote plenty of time helping new people over there!.... Tho I'm sure there are others here too. So, I'm a bit loyal to her!....

As I don't participate in that thread very often, I had no idea that she & others were being sandblasted over there. I start receiving PM's about things, that I was unaware of!... I just stay out of it. I have co-dependant issues. Still learning to keep "my arms & hands inside the cart". This is when I understood the purpose of that thread is a safe place for new people who want to go AF.

In the meantime a person is calling people "AFNaziz's". I was informed in PM's. I find this to be degrading, prejudice, bias. Tho, imo they are really only degrading themselves. However, there might be Jewish friends among us who don't appreciate this word. I personally find this unacceptable!!!!.... Another member contacted forum mod's to have it removed. I now see it being used again over on the mods board. I hope the forum moderators are reading & will please remove it & PM member, as apparently they don't understand how upsetting this word is & can be to members & potential new ones. PS. I've alos said & done some really shitty ~ fecked up stuff myself!!!! Please just know that this word is offensive Dave & I hope you will be kind enough to edit & remove it yourself first!!!!.... Hope your twins & wife are doing well!!!!

I now I will have to go practice what I preach & pray for those whom I'm irritated with, so I don't build resentments. Not prayers of being hit by a buss either. Something small & nice. No not winning the lottery. I'm far to selfish of an alkie & human for that.

Cashy, I'm not directing this at you!.... I'm very ~ very sorry for what you & your family are going thru!!!! My hubbs & I have lost 8 of our fam members, along with friends. He to has mentioned take a break from this place. Liked your funny link to to the peeps on PC's all night or sumpin like that. Thought of posting a link on how to pet a kitty, they expose their tummies on purpose so ya get a luv mauling. Think it's on Oatmeal. com. I was waiting for my daughter to go in & have surgery & I LMAO. I'm sure the nurses thought I was off my rocker, I probably was. It was good off my rocker type that day for me. Sigh..... Frankly, part of my emotional health is not caring what others think of me, it has kept me sick for too many years. People pleasin crap. Was going to bump up Briesus posts. (Miss u) Lack of Time..... I'm not a bad person, I don't think any of us are!.... Just people trying their best..... Sometimes we feck up! I know I'm not getting it right all the time, but I'm not going to be so damn hard on myself today, cause I'm not perfect, I'm human!....

Hope Raven2012 hasn't given up on this place? I did find some great things here that I didn't find anywhere else. For myself it's about changing my mindset, gratitude verses deprivation, a healthier approach, mind & body. Plus there is great collaborative research shared & archived here. Lots of support, encouragement & fun! No matter what spectrum we fall under here at MWO. Tho it may not look like it, once in a while. This is life, people are people. Whether here or anywhere. Just that it's easier when your sitting behind the PC sometimes to just say whatever comes to mind.

I need to get on with livin, you can all hash this out until the blue moon, which is 8/31/12 if you want. I have to post to another member here I care about who's going through very hard times too & ck on another one!!!!... Then there's the business of finding the perfect fashion dresses to go with the lovely JC's silver sparkly, double decker boots. I thinks she may have either borrowed from Queen or Austin Powers. As soon as I have time for some good fun!

Luv, :h

Wild :l

[bicyclesurfer]

Is anyone having luck with moderation?

Why don't you moderators check out this thread.
Sorry if this bothers you, but better now than later.
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...one-67784.html