A Breakthrough

[Ripley]

Finally, something in my brain wiring has changed... I have been logging on daily since finding this site about 2 weeks ago, and despite getting the supps immediately, having so much positive encouragement from you lovely lovely people, and desperately WANTING to curb my drinking, I just could not do it - one night of AF, a little bit of mods, but generally same old me. Even had a few nights of even extra heavy secret boozing (e.g. vodka bottle in drinks cabinet now contains water... a proud moment.)

However, the day before yesterday I went to a Chinese Herbalist to get Kudzu. (The longer version of this visit is on DorsetDudes "Fallen already" Thread so I won't bore you all twice.) and they were WONDERFULthere - had accupuncture and got a whole lot of herbs incl Kudzu. Felt the difference almost immediately.

Then yesterday my hypno CD arrived. Had the vile herbal drink a.m. then p.m. as instructed and also listened to CD twice. Husband came home with wine and in a vile mood. We had a row (or rather he shouted at me for being the cause of all problems in his life - probably partly true, but he is unsuccessfuly coming off anti-depressants and is a pretty foul person to be around for now - another story...!) I remained calm, read the paper in the kitchen next to an opened bottle of New World red - my drug of choice - kept looking at it and had absolutely no desire to have a drink.

I can not tell you what a miracle that is. I have never,at least in the last few years, been able to look at (and smell) a bottle of wine and think, honestly, "no thanks, I don't want one." There was no willpower involved, just no desire to drink... It felt as natural and easy and sinking the whole bottle would have been 2 nights previously.

Went upstairs with a cup of camomile tea leaving husband snoring in front of the football on the sofa, watched a Merchants Ivory movie in bed, took a couple of herbal sleeping tablets (valerian, gentian, hops) and slept like a baby.

I won't get cocky and I don't expect this to be easy for ever, but God bless MWO and all who sail in her! :l

A happy Kate x

PS: The Hypno CD I have is not the RJ one, but "Beverly Hills Hypnosis. Staying Sober Though Hypnosis by Trevor H. Scott." I had it shipped from the US via Amazon.Com. I have not tried the RJ Hypno CDs. This is only one 30 minute CD but even with shipping it is much cheaper, and seems to be working, so far,*crosses fingers* for me.

[Pebbles]

A Breakthrough

Hey Kate that's amazing. You really are trying to hit this with everything. I must admit any sort of row would have sent me over the edge, so well done for that.

Can you tell if it was the herbs, the CD or the acupressure or a combination ?

keep us posted - I have the RJ CDs but don't have lot of time to listen to them, maybe a 30 minute one would be better, is it just noises or is it a voice ? Do you have to do your own affirmations ?

[Ripley]

A Breakthrough

hi pebbles...i am kind of immune to my husband's rages these days. he is off his meds and is losing the plot. This is a familiar cycle: he feels better, stops the meds, behaves like Jack Nicholson in "The Shining" for a couple of weeks, finally realises that its the meds not me, makes prettty speeches about being v sorry etc, goes back on them again and the cycle starts again. Hey ho.

Dunno what is working for me. Don't care! Topa and Andrafinil arrived today! YIPPEE! Will now rattle when shaken, but I'm gonna do the whole RJ package.

The Beverly Hills CD is a guy talking with some new-agey music in the background. Takes you down to coma level (I am v suscpetible to hypno, go under like I have been zapped with a stun gun) then talks about not having any desire to drink, being positive, confident, calm etc. Takes you to your own "control centre" in your brain where you visualise turning off and locking various switches (e.g. stress and anxiety) and turning down dials e.g desire to drink. I think it is v good. I don't have time or patience either for more than 30 mins.

K x

[Pebbles]

A Breakthrough

Can't you swap him for Jack Nicholson in something else ?

Is the Andrafinil the notoropic stuff ? did you get it from aclepsa too ? If I take more than 50mg of topa I can't even remember my name and I think I need a slightly higher dose although it's working to a certain extent.

I'm not so susceptable to hypno - my conscious brain starts arguing ! I wish it didn't! I have even tried one to one, and told the chap his table was in the wrong place, who has their head to the door for goodness sake ? I can always hear every dog bark, every car pass and it stops me getting into it. Maybe I'm trying too hard ?

anyway, good stuff keep us posted can't wait to see you on long term abs !!!

xxxxx

[Cashregister]

A Breakthrough

Hi Kate,


Well done on staying calm and in control. It seems like you have strick a good formula for yourself - congrats.

Is your husband supposed to be taking his meds all the time, cause if he's having trouble staying on them some can be injected (I don't know which ones). Does he have bipolar, cause it sounds a bit like it? (I am recently diagnosed) Most people come off the antidepressant and become depressed again as opposed to angry and agitated etc. Perhaps he should see a doc about a mood stabiliser of some sort - they are really calming as well.

Best wishes
Cashy

[Rocky]

A Breakthrough

Kate,

congratulations on the breakthrough!

[Ripley]

A Breakthrough

thanks peeps. don't like Jack N in any form Pebbles - am saving myself for Daniel Craig. I just know that he is destined to meet and fall for a saggy 40 yr old mother of 3 with a drink problem...

I got my adrafinil from nubrain.com. Lots of websites won't ship to the UK. of course I am doing all of this without my GP's involvement. have done plenty of recreational stuff in my time (not proud of it, but hey, might as well be honest here) so am not overly concerned.

Cashy, don't think my husband is bipolar, just a f***wit! Seriously, he has suffered for years (not just the length of our marriage) from "anger management issues". He is on his 3rd counsellor - seeing her as I type in fact - who is of the NLP variety and very good, and has been on an SSRI (cipralex /escitalopram) for 2 and a half years. He is super-sensitive to it and if he comes off it he is seriously nasty and unpredictable. I get a lot of verbal abuse altho' thankfully none physical. Today, I hate him. Most of the time I love him and we are ok. He is indeed lucky to be married to such a saintly toleratant and forgiving wife (ha!).

I suspect he needs to be on this for life but he struggles with the stigma of it. Better than struggling with only seeing your kids every other weekend, I say. I will mention mood stabilisers to him when he is back from the counsellor and doing one of his pretty speeches.

thanks all, you are so so great xxx

[Accountable for Me]

A Breakthrough

Well done Kate! You sound so good. Determination and the right tools will get you everywhere you want to go!

:goodjob: