Triggers?

[Irie]

I hate how unpredictable my life is. I just went six days without drinking. I felt happy, proud, confident. To make a long story short we had a family emergency that I was handling well until my beautiful, steal the stage sister showed up and made me feel invisible.

My daughter had an emergency with her pregnancy, and thank God, everything turned out ok. I have a beautiful new grand- daughter and my own daughter is recovering. I could not be happier, or more thankful. I took time off work to be with her and my grandchildren. Life was feeling good once the initial scare passed.

My sister is a good person, and only wanted to help, but she just took over once she decided we needed her. She's one of those people who has to be the center of attention. So, with my daughter, my grandchildren, she just shoves me out of the way. Its all about her for the next couple of days. She's a story teller and she just steals the stage. Needless to say, everyone gravitates to her. I was so hurt, but I also knew I should appreciate that she drive hundreds of miles to come and help.

Sorry, I know I'm rambling, but I'm trying to sort this out. I finally decided to come back home ( 4 hours from my daughter) after lots of suggestions from my sister that I could just go now that she was there. Shamefully, I walked in the door tonight with a bottle of wine and a real need to unwind.

I do know that blaming her is useless, and I need to learn to do a better job coping with this kind of stress without drinking. I guess I'm getting closer but just not there yet. This is not my sisters fault, and I really do know that. But I also want to recognize that it was enough to knock me off course, because I want to do better the next time I get a few days AF under my belt.

Would it help anyone else to say what their triggers are? It seems like we are more similar than different. I'll bet we share a lot of them.

[littlepinkcat]

Triggers?

hiya have u thought about going to AA, or is it not for you?

[scottishman]

Triggers?

when they drink in a good movie, just as you're relaxed and you wanna join in, it should maybe be stigmatised the way smoking is in movies for the large part nowadays

[Nelz]

Triggers?

scottishman;1372177 wrote: when they drink in a good movie, just as you're relaxed and you wanna join in, it should maybe be stigmatised the way smoking is in movies for the large part nowadays

OMFG this!!!!! Wifey and I started watching the TV Series Supernatural on Netflix. Every stinking, cotton pickin scene, it seems as if they are pouring and hoisting a shot of whiskey or a beer.

Thats why I leave the bullet sitting around.....so I can bite it with my white knuckles....but yeah...I hate watchin people drink. LOL


And grilling out was my other HUGE trigger, but lets face it, in reality, my trigger was any day of the week that ended with the letter Y



Read this:
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f3...ers-67205.html

[Lavande]

Triggers?

Hi Irie,

Congrats on the safe arrival of your new grandaughter
These are special times, I know because I have three young grandkids myself!

Getting to the point -
You need to break the automatic habit of turning to a bottle of wine for comfort!
I know how hard it it but it is doable.

Make a plan of action to put yourself in first place - always!
If you know that your sister's pushy behavior affects you negatively then tell her to STOP!
I don't blame you for reacting to her, I just want to see you stepping up for yourself. Tell her that you don't appreciate being pushed out of your rightful place with your daughter & new grandaughter. How would she feel if you did that to her??

Recognizing our triggers & pre-planining our respomses helps us stay sober

Enjoy your new grandaughter, they are so special !
Lav

[pixie]

Triggers?

I think the big triggers for me are stress, including the relief time after the stress has been released (when there's leftover adrenaline), and happy/celebratory times. I think it was Kradle who mentioned recently "emotional extremes" and I think that's a good description. Maybe it's a need/want to keep the emotions centered, and when they stray too far the desire to dampen them with alcohol occurs.

[kuya]

Triggers?

Mine are the same as pixie's. Extreme emotions good or bad make me want a drink, but I have found that glut amine helps. Unfort unately too often I have reached for the bottle even though I KNOW that glut amine helps!

[Wildflowers]

Triggers?

WFS, Smart, AA, CR, SOS, Life Ring, Recovery Forums, Counseling, etc. are all good methods to help recognize triggers, finding solutions & fellowship. These can be all useful & an important part of the recovery process. Along with taking good vitamins, minerals & supplements to calm down the brain, aiding ourselves with our extreme emotions, healing our bodies. Also accepting that in early recovery, fluctuating emotions even when nothing is going wrong, is all part of the process. That it will be OK. Lets not forget we are woman & our hormones are at play. Be good to yourself! Exercise helps!...

Everything use to be a trigger for me. Happy, sad, anxiety, funerals, marriages, births, holidays, no holidays. When it really comes down to it, I have to really not want to drink, more then drinking. I have to accept that I don't drink like normal folks & that it's not safe for me to drink one, ever! As one can turn into 10.

You did great on your 6 days! You can get your 6 days back again & get even more hun! I agree tell your Sister to stop. After you get some sobriety time under your belt, your confidence will rise. So be prepared that when you confront her or others with your new you ( which will take work, but it's good work) they may be a bit in shock. You may face some resistance. There is help for this too.

Take good care of you smart woman & be gentle with yourself! :l

[Irie]

Triggers?

Thanks for the feedback. I've jumped back in the sobriety train and I'll be more prepared next time life throws me a curve.

[Sunbeam]

Triggers?

For many of us we just keep taking steps and learning along the way. Your sister isn't likely to change, so focus on ways for you to cope.

Stress is a trigger for me, but I also used wine way too much as a way to relax on a pleasant afternoon. Becoming absorbed in a good book is way better.