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    #1

    Anxiety, guilt and alcohol

    Experience of anxiety can be overwhelming and often is more cruel than a hangover. The feeling you get the morning after a heavy drinking session can be terrifying. I wake up and despite a pounding headache jump of the bed, frantically searching for my phone. My heart is pounding, breathing is shallow and fast. Here it is, checking for outbound calls and sms. Relief the last called made before I went out. Not calm yet the feeling returns and its bank balance checking time, damn I can’t believe I spent that much, how could I? where did it go? trying to put together the fragmented memory of the night before. Now the anxious feeling is replaced with horrible guilt and self loathing. You know what’s best about this situation I get to relive it all over again tonight.

    These were common Saturday and Sunday events, what a way to relax and re-energise during the weekend! The deep feeling of guilt was horrible, it’s like you betrayed your best friend or somehow cheated the whole world. And the only way to get a relief was to drink...so not this time...no attempt at moderation...no giving in to peer pressure...I never want to feel like that again.

    ALLAN K.
    AF since 1st Sep 2012
    NF since 1st Sep 2012

    If you want to feel better visit www.hopeforpaws.org
    Tags: None
    #2
    Anxiety, guilt and alcohol

    I can totally relate. Anxiety is what ultimately made me quit drinking...I just couldn't take it anymore. Now I can wake up in the morning without wondering what went on the night before...and that is an amazing feeling.
    :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

    Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

    Comment

      #3
      Anxiety, guilt and alcohol

      K9Lover;1373498 wrote: I can totally relate. Anxiety is what ultimately made me quit drinking...I just couldn't take it anymore. Now I can wake up in the morning without wondering what went on the night before...and that is an amazing feeling.
      Thank you K9 for sharing. I have been reading some of your posts recently. How long have you been AF? I can understand the anxiety but did you experience the GUILT, that was a very frequent feeling for me after a night of heavy drinking.
      AF since 1st Sep 2012
      NF since 1st Sep 2012

      If you want to feel better visit www.hopeforpaws.org

      Comment

        #4
        Anxiety, guilt and alcohol

        Yup. That's how our bodies handles toxins. GREAT post!!!
        Outside of a dog a book is mans best friend. Inside of a dog its too dark to read

        Comment

          #5
          Anxiety, guilt and alcohol

          allankay- You described me perfectly. The guilt of what I'm putting my family through is tremendous. Along with that comes the anxiety. Vicious cycle that needs to be eliminated

          Comment

            #6
            Anxiety, guilt and alcohol

            the guilt was WAY worse than the anxiety for me Allan...I l almost destroyed my family
            I love my family more than alcohol.:h
            Live in the Solution....not the problem

            Comment

              #7
              Anxiety, guilt and alcohol

              Thank you all for your supportive comments. Yes I said and did some pretty disgusting things under the influence but I am talking about just a dreaded feeling of guilt for no reason at all. Sometimes I had to apologise for the previous night but often the GUILT was present even in the absence of wrong doing. Maybe it’s just the subconscious telling you that your thoughts, your actions and your feelings are not in line. I personally think that this is the key to being happy is when what you do, what you say and how you feel are all the same.

              ALLAN K.
              AF since 1st Sep 2012
              NF since 1st Sep 2012

              If you want to feel better visit www.hopeforpaws.org

              Comment

                #8
                Anxiety, guilt and alcohol

                Oh Allan, I can so relate to what you say. The anxiety is what finally made me stop. I also checked my phone, I would even write things down so I could check the next day who I said what to. I have only been sober a few months but I can assure you it's worth it. My life has changed so much. I went out for dinner with some friends last night, and didn't touch alcohol, I really enjoyed myself and when I woke this morning, there was no anxiety, guilt or remorse, so worth it. Good luck to you, if I can do it anybody can.
                .

                Comment

                  #9
                  Anxiety, guilt and alcohol

                  Thank you Paula. I have quit for 6 months before and it was great. I saved a tonne of money, got lean and fit but the one thing I didn?t adjust to is going out to watering holes and clubs. By 11-12 at night everyone is just talking nonsense and moving like cats on catnip. And it?s hard to avoid those situations because it?s what everyone does on Fridays and Saturdays. But I guess it?s better to be amused than regretful...
                  AF since 1st Sep 2012
                  NF since 1st Sep 2012

                  If you want to feel better visit www.hopeforpaws.org

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Anxiety, guilt and alcohol

                    allankay;1373560 wrote: Thank you Paula. I have quit for 6 months before and it was great. I saved a tonne of money, got lean and fit but the one thing I didn?t adjust to is going out to watering holes and clubs. By 11-12 at night everyone is just talking nonsense and moving like cats on catnip. And it?s hard to avoid those situations because it?s what everyone does on Fridays and Saturdays. But I guess it?s better to be amused than regretful...
                    Friday and Saturday are made to keep a free mind so that mind can regenerated itself.Meanwhile there are other plenty of tasks to make the moment enjoyable .Cleaning house,garden,giving time to family ,some exercises,seeing relatives which everybody knows but miss all of them when get drunk.
                    So we intoxicate our mind rather than giving time to recharge.

                    As per I know, anxiety and guilt are a sorts of opportunity for a sober and clean mind but a so call tension for an alcoholic mind.AL is just like a pain killer it stops working if we discontinue it .It is not a remedy or a treatment .If we take pain killer for a long time and in high doses our immune system stops functioning.
                    So if AL is taken in limit/doses and socially ,it wont be a problem.But some of us cant do that so why it is better not to consume at all..
                    Dix
                    A learned habit surely be unlearned !!

                    2012: Continuous AF for 7 months from May to Oct.

                    Big Relapses : 6th November and 12th December 2012.

                    2013 : So many ups and down !!

                    2014: Has a conviction to stay with a healthy life.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Anxiety, guilt and alcohol

                      Forme it's the Self Loathing which has made me a virtual deter in the headlights since moving away from AL. I'm happy not to have those horrible mornings anymore that you described Allan but the next stp still eludes me.

                      Still...progress at three months AF

                      :l
                      On My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
                      *If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
                      https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html tool box
                      https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html newbie nest

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Anxiety, guilt and alcohol

                        Kradle123;1373666 wrote: Forme it's the Self Loathing which has made me a virtual deter in the headlights since moving away from AL. I'm happy not to have those horrible mornings anymore that you described Allan but the next stp still eludes me.

                        Still...progress at three months AF

                        :l
                        I think we are all learning as we go along and it's good to have MWO as an aid to recovery and to help us anticipate what is coming.

                        ALLAN K.
                        AF since 1st Sep 2012
                        NF since 1st Sep 2012

                        If you want to feel better visit www.hopeforpaws.org

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Anxiety, guilt and alcohol

                          It was the morose dark thoughts I would get for days after a drinking session. I would be nervous and jumpy with itchy skin, what a frigging ridiculously absurd way to live.
                          Sober since 13th January 2012

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Anxiety, guilt and alcohol

                            oh man.. that itchy skin that was also so blotchy. And that jumpiness was just so so uncomfortable

                            Whew, I'm only a couple of weeks away from all that but.. oh so glad!

                            Take care all
                            Patrice

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