terribly happy!

[dixon]

terribly happy!

After a long dead silence and being in a gratitude mind for a couple of weeks ,

I have called my wife right now and talked with her an and half hour over phone and informed her that I am no more destructive now.Meanwhile I requested her to allow me to see my kids first .She ignored that and asked my thought about her ?? .I told her that I won't do any harm/violence to you at all.But she wants I must do every things as per her which I can't imagine now . To be honest I am still not convinced myself to accept our relationship.

I also must not get back to give the right education to my children so If I do not do right now I won't be able to do so in future.They are on their age of 15 and 11.My daughter is now at 10 th level and son at 6th.

Any advice here please ?
Dix

[madmans]

terribly happy!

Hi Dix, my only advice is to take things slow with her , you are still going through a lot of changes in your mind and you are doing great but how you feel now is not how you will feel in 6 months from now or in a year from now.
from my exp you will feel better a lot better , like the person you were before drink took hold of your life, i now feel like i was in my early 20s and i would assume everyone is the same.
Every situation is different and i might be wrong in your case but the main thing for you is to keep the pressure of you as much as possible. MM

[dixon]

terribly happy!

madmans;1375177 wrote: Hi Dix, my only advice is to take things slow with her , you are still going through a lot of changes in your mind and you are doing great but how you feel now is not how you will feel in 6 months from now or in a year from now.
from my exp you will feel better a lot better , like the person you were before drink took hold of your life, i now feel like i was in my early 20s and i would assume everyone is the same.
Every situation is different and i might be wrong in your case but the main thing for you is to keep the pressure of you as much as possible. MM

Hi Madman,

Its a wonderful advice I ever get !!
Of course there will be lots of changes in my thinking patterns.But I am worried about my kids tender age.
I might regret later if I do not make me involved in their emotional health,education and health.I am pretty sure that they are under good supervision of the Children protection plan but you know I am a father.Any more advices please.
Dix

[pixie]

terribly happy!

Hi Dix

I think Madman had some very good advice. One thing that was mentioned in another thread today, about relationships after going sober, is that the sober person has changed dramatically, and the partner needs time to adjust to the change. Your wife probably is not used to you the way you are now, so maybe you need to give her some time. Will you have the opportunity to speak to her regularly? If so, give her a chance to get to know you again.

I can't comment on your kids because I don't really know the situation. But it seems that having some patience there too, would not be a bad thing. There's time for things to evolve slowly, since you said they were under good supervision. Good luck Dix.

[dixon]

terribly happy!

pixie;1375243 wrote: Hi Dix

I think Madman had some very good advice. One thing that was mentioned in another thread today, about relationships after going sober, is that the sober person has changed dramatically, and the partner needs time to adjust to the change. Your wife probably is not used to you the way you are now, so maybe you need to give her some time. Will you have the opportunity to speak to her regularly? If so, give her a chance to get to know you again.

I can't comment on your kids because I don't really know the situation. But it seems that having some patience there too, would not be a bad thing. There's time for things to evolve slowly, since you said they were under good supervision. Good luck Dix.

Pixie,
Everyone say patience !! That's noted.
Here ,I agree with you that my wife needs more time to understand me that is 100 % applicable to my case. I have talked to her tonight and she is not ready to accept the alcohol makes us a momentary loss of consciousness.I have requested her to ask for professionals help in this regards but she is not ready. May be I should talk to social worker now.
You have given me a bullet point to address !!
Dix

[Kradle123]

terribly happy!

Dixon you are such an inspiration. :h

We are all so lucky to have you in our lives.
:l

[madmans]

terribly happy!

Good morning Dix, the one thing i would push to for is to have some access to see the kids, even if it is supervised, you have changed and they need to see that and you need to see them.
As i have said before you have rights to see them each week even if it means going down the legal route.

[Wagoneer]

terribly happy!

Dixon, you are an inspiration and reading your success warms my heart. So happy for you. You deserve it

[dixon]

terribly happy!

madmans;1375307 wrote: Good morning Dix, the one thing i would push to for is to have some access to see the kids, even if it is supervised, you have changed and they need to see that and you need to see them.
As i have said before you have rights to see them each week even if it means going down the legal route.

Good to hear from you Kradle and wagon!!
You are so lovely here.

madmans,

My children are quite grown up and at their 11 and 15 years now. I have asked to some professional and they suggested that you wont be able to see them if they deny you to do so..They could accept my proposal but simply they cant ignore her mom's words , and her mom wants to make her life secure using my kids .
But you say here I can do legally not sure which one is correct ? . Any more information please.

I know life is complicated in some cases but a really beautiful if we can manage it smoothly.
Dix

[madmans]

terribly happy!

Hi Dix if i remember right your living in England , if so the Citizens Advice will give you all the info for free, here is a link of there web site
We've just split up - can I still see my children?

At that age it might not be a good idea to force them to see you at this min if they don't want to but if it's a case of not been allowed to see them or been stopped then you do have rights.
I do believe all these things will be sorted out in time so long as you stay sober and build trust with your wife , we tell so many lies when we drink we cant just expect them to believe us right away and now that your not living together she cant see you daily to see first hand how you are living, so it will take time .

[dixon]

terribly happy!

madmans;1375765 wrote: Hi Dix if i remember right your living in England , if so the Citizens Advice will give you all the info for free, here is a link of there web site
We've just split up - can I still see my children?

At that age it might not be a good idea to force them to see you at this min if they don't want to but if it's a case of not been allowed to see them or been stopped then you do have rights.
I do believe all these things will be sorted out in time so long as you stay sober and build trust with your wife , we tell so many lies when we drink we cant just expect them to believe us right away and now that your not living together she cant see you daily to see first hand how you are living, so it will take time .

Madman,

You are very kind of you that you have searched a link which is related to my issues.
I have gone trough it and many others information and now almost been confirmed ,I cant wont get any legal order to see them unless they are agree to see me.
I don't want to go the court at the moment.
I know my wife is using them as a deal, she knows how much I love them. I love her too and asked her for a family mediation and she refused that as well.She does not know the whole procedure as she is also from other country.
Yes, I have an ILR and subject to a citizenship if I wish.
Its better for wait and see !
But worried for another marriage due to my age, if it wont work out ..
Rest is OK.
Dix

[dixon]

terribly happy!

Yesterday I was a little bit low cause I had forgot my AD .When I listened my favourite music for three hours, now I am feeling extremely happy again.
When I feel low I use the following to lift my mood,

1.Chanting of Mantras.
2.Listening favourite or spiritual/hypnotic music.
3.Doing some light exercise - Yoga.
4. Meditating.

These are tremendous helpful to lift my mood ...

Dix:yay::yay: