When is the best time to declare you AF publicly ?

[dixon]

Hi everyone,


I know there is no need to declare your changes yourself to the family,friends or the society , they will notice you with passes of time.

But in some cases , we have to conquer people's bad perception about us immediately .So what would be the possible state of mind to do so ??

We can share our experiences,known information or any articles related in this issues .
Thanks for your sharing .
Dix

[DriftyAlison0]

When is the best time to declare you AF publicly ?

Depends on who it is. Your friends,family, and Dr. should know right away and then others when you feel the time is right if you decide to go public with it.

[dixon]

When is the best time to declare you AF publicly ?

DriftyAlison0;1375226 wrote: Depends on who it is. Your friends,family, and Dr. should know right away and then others when you feel the time is right if you decide to go public with it.

THANKS ,
HAVE YOU HAD YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE TO SHARE HERE DRIFTY ?
DISREGARD IT IF YOU WANT TO STAY MORE ANONYMOUS .lol
dIX

[IAD]

When is the best time to declare you AF publicly ?

Dix........sometimes it's better not to declare......Just drink your sodas and Perrier with a twist. Tell everyone I'm just not in the mood. Or........that your doctor told you to cut back on your drinking because of your health. I say never let them see you sweat ! Ha! Be cool......and change your attitude a little at a time, eventually they'll think that's part of your thing know. Don't set yourself up for failure.....cause they surely will let you have it if you fall off the wagon ! Good luck !

[DriftyAlison0]

When is the best time to declare you AF publicly ?

dixon;1375238 wrote: THANKS ,
HAVE YOU HAD YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE TO SHARE HERE DRIFTY ?
DISREGARD IT IF YOU WANT TO STAY MORE ANONYMOUS .lol
dIX

Sure well most of the time I go down to the pub (but sometimes will go elsewhere for dinner,lunch etc) and its like family down there,they support my quit so rarely am I asked for a al drink (when I do its a newbie) I just tell them that I don't drink anymore. My family (real and bar family) knows how bad I was and knew if I were to continue, then I would continue to get worse and worse. Strangers don't need to know the full story so I usually stick to that. And if they keep asking or if I feel like it, I tell them I quit while I was ahead.

[allankay]

When is the best time to declare you AF publicly ?

IAD;1375255 wrote: Dix........sometimes it's better not to declare......Just drink your sodas and Perrier with a twist. Tell everyone I'm just not in the mood. Or........that your doctor told you to cut back on your drinking because of your health. I say never let them see you sweat ! Ha! Be cool......and change your attitude a little at a time, eventually they'll think that's part of your thing know. Don't set yourself up for failure.....cause they surely will let you have it if you fall off the wagon ! Good luck !

Dix, I agree with IAD.

You are not obliged to explain your life story and many will judge and will not understand. They will think that if you needed to give up aclohol you had a problem to begin with. Be light, be brief, and be cool

When it comes to your family, I think you have to be honest and as madmans mentioned, take it slow. I don’t know if you are ready or if it’s even possible to be reunited with your family at this time, just take it a day at a time. Trust doesn’t come over night, it needs to be earned. Your wife should come around eventually and even though I don’t think I know the whole story behind it, forgiveness is a divine character trait.

ALLAN

[199days]

When is the best time to declare you AF publicly ?

Situation dependant, sometimes tell people I have packed for ever sometimes I just say Iam bored of it.

Mostly nobody cares weather I drink or not.

[dixon]

When is the best time to declare you AF publicly ?

allankay;1375324 wrote: Dix, I agree with IAD.

You are not obliged to explain your life story and many will judge and will not understand. They will think that if you needed to give up aclohol you had a problem to begin with. Be light, be brief, and be cool

When it comes to your family, I think you have to be honest and as madmans mentioned, take it slow. I don?t know if you are ready or if it?s even possible to be reunited with your family at this time, just take it a day at a time. Trust doesn?t come over night, it needs to be earned. Your wife should come around eventually and even though I don?t think I know the whole story behind it, forgiveness is a divine character trait.

ALLAN

Allan ,
You tell here my heart's story. I don't know how do you know but I believe it is a universal truth and everyone deserves the right to have it.
You are also telling about the forgiveness , I wanted to do so by heart and not from the mind but still unable . I can forgive any things in my life expect a respect of relationship .So whenever I try to forgive on relationship matter ,my ego comes up like a body guard and tells me no to do so.
Its really complicated in some cases like husband and wife cause that is physically and mentally associated.
You are a big help to me like others.
Dix

[dixon]

When is the best time to declare you AF publicly ?

IAD;1375255 wrote: Dix........sometimes it's better not to declare......Just drink your sodas and Perrier with a twist. Tell everyone I'm just not in the mood. Or........that your doctor told you to cut back on your drinking because of your health. I say never let them see you sweat ! Ha! Be cool......and change your attitude a little at a time, eventually they'll think that's part of your thing know. Don't set yourself up for failure.....cause they surely will let you have it if you fall off the wagon ! Good luck !

IAD,

Of course sometimes better not to declare and sometimes could be better to do so .Thats why becoming confused , may be staying in silence is better for all the times.They will notice that later.
The more important reason is that,
By declaring to the public it may make you more responsible to your recovery and add up the strengths.
On contrary, if you relapse again nobody will trust you at all even you will make another attempts by your heart to stay AF.

So it is better if you are 100% confidence not to go back to AL , but how do you know the exact time ?? That is my question here in fact.
Its becoming a constructive exchange so I am very happy.
Dix

[dixon]

When is the best time to declare you AF publicly ?

199days;1375333 wrote: Situation dependant, sometimes tell people I have packed for ever sometimes I just say Iam bored of it.

Mostly nobody cares weather I drink or not.

199,

I will give you a party when I make 199 days AF ok dear ?

In this case , I don't want to give any reasons for not drinking for want to know the exact phase of time to declare everyone that I am no more interested in AL.I have known some great people declare that way in public.
Any ideas,
Dix

[dixon]

When is the best time to declare you AF publicly ?

DriftyAlison0;1375315 wrote: Sure well most of the time I go down to the pub (but sometimes will go elsewhere for dinner,lunch etc) and its like family down there,they support my quit so rarely am I asked for a al drink (when I do its a newbie) I just tell them that I don't drink anymore. My family (real and bar family) knows how bad I was and knew if I were to continue, then I would continue to get worse and worse. Strangers don't need to know the full story so I usually stick to that. And if they keep asking or if I feel like it, I tell them I quit while I was ahead.

Thanks Drifty,

Could you please see the reply I made to IAD please.Your advice counts a lot for me.
Dix

[IAD]

When is the best time to declare you AF publicly ?

Dix alcoholism is a disease. Their will never be a time when you become 100% sure that you have given up alcohol. ( or have conquered it.) It's a fight you must fight your whole life. Though you have not taken a drink in many years........that one that you take.....puts you back where you started. It's a progressive disease.......it will lay dormant until you take another drink.

[dixon]

When is the best time to declare you AF publicly ?

IAD;1375574 wrote: Dix alcoholism is a disease. Their will never be a time when you become 100% sure that you have given up alcohol. ( or have conquered it.) It's a fight you must fight your whole life. Though you have not taken a drink in many years........that one that you take.....puts you back where you started. It's a progressive disease.......it will lay dormant until you take another drink.

Scared !! Want to forget this stuff at all . LOL
I know its a reality.
Once being ALholic , it is always a struggle ?
No No and No get out AL for ever.
Dix

[199days]

When is the best time to declare you AF publicly ?

Dix alcoholism is a disease.

Not everyone thinks its a disease, some just think its another drug addiction.

But whatever it takes stopping and staying stopped forever in my case is what counts.

[dixon]

When is the best time to declare you AF publicly ?

199days;1375580 wrote: Dix alcoholism is a disease.

Not everyone thinks its a disease, some just think its another drug addiction.

But whatever it takes stopping and staying stopped forever in my case is what counts.

I am lucky I was not physically dependant on it.It was mentally and I was not too much aware its relation with the brain damage.When I knew it its been easier to pack it up.
That's why I dint have any withdrawal problem
Dix