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[MtnMomma]

Well, I did it. I made an appt with my Dr for today. I found I'm using AL as a way to cope with a panic attack. They don't happen often, I don't drink often but it is how I "treat" anxiety. I was given Zoloft and Antabuse. I know I'm on the right road but am scared to death. I don't mind not drinking and certainly don't mind keeping myself together and not constantly irritable, impatient and just plain miserable. Didn't know it was depression. Wow. I'm ready to be better and take care of my family without feeling bad. Just wondering, though. Do I need the antabuse if I'm taking Zoloft? I requested it because I just don't want to drink but if the anti-depressent is going to help with anxiety, maybe it will help with cravings?

[allankay]

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Hello Momma,

I wish you the best of luck on this journey. Generally alcohol causes anxiety rather than treating it so I find it a little strange that it was helping you to stay calm. It may give you a temporary relief from your busy mind but then it comes back in a big way the following day causing feelings of irritability, anxiety and guilt.

I am on my day 10 and have quit before for about 6 months. I found that the best way to lift your mood and gain self esteem is through exercise and good diet. Exercising releases, make you feel good chemicals in your body, similar to chocolate but without the calories.

Keep us updated on your progress.

ALLAN

[MtnMomma]

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The AL was definitely a temporary fix and the guilt, anxiety and shame the next day was always worse. I do exercise everyday and feel great, but it doesn't seem to be enough. I have 3 little ones to look after as well and I'm pretty sure it's taking its toll. The Zoloft should just lift me up so I can take care of everything without the misery. I wake up in the morning having to talk myself into going through the day. Not drinking should also improve my well being. I may sound naive but I've not gone through this before. I also don't want my kids to see me struggling.

[allankay]

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Momma,

I can only speak from experience and I can tell you that giving up AL is like gaining years to your life. Everyday I feel physically stronger, I look younger, I feel more stable and less irretable. So you are definately doing the right thing.

I feel like you need some emotional support during this transition. I encourage you to check in, read and write on MWO, the support I received since joining has been incredible.

ALLAN

[Struggles 106]

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Hey Mtn Mama

Just my humble opinion, but the antabuse is a lifesaver, to me. I guess I am just one of those people who has to have the option of drinking negated-just out of the picture.
I take Prozac for depression and have for years-2 different drugs for 2 different things.

I never thought I would get to the point of AB, but here I am. I cut the 250 mgs in half and keep them by my bed. I just got to the point of dismissing the thought of drinking immediately. I like it.

Best wishes to you. You kids deserve a sober mama

[Raven2012]

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I agree with Ann. If I may add on - it goes two ways. The kids deserve a sober mama, but you deserve a better life for yourself too. It's not easy. There is an enormous amount of responsibility that comes with you AND these helpless little lives. You mentioned you were caring for three little ones. It's likely that the impact on you (from the drinking) - from an emotional standpoint - might be even worse. Chances are you are beating yourself up daily. I can only speculate because at one time I was home with my baby boy at 2 1/2 and infant girl. I was depressed and emotionally spent. I wasn't drinking (during the day, but let me tell you about the evenings!) but I was emotionally absent. My heart wasn't in it. I wanted to be anywhere but where I was. And I felt awful. I would go to the furthest room for a bit and hide, only to feel guilty. Saying "what if this happened" "I should be doing this!" "I should be taking them out to parks, teaching them baby sign language, enriching their spirits with reading, flashcards...etc" and yes, you probably should be doing all those things but you are probably your worst critic and the best thing you can do right now is quit the drinking, even if it means just sitting around and watching cartoons or dvd's with them for a few days while you get your bearings. Then venture out to parks, make playdates, plan activities. I used to find my favorite child friendly casual dining place and get a location about 30 minutes away - to kill time! That would mean 30 mins there, 45 mins for mealtime, 30 mins back. Great, thats almost 2 hours down including in and out of the car time!

Get the basics down first. So it's not just about them, its about you. And when you feel better, you'll be able to be a better mom. And they will notice the difference too. It's about everyone. Especially you.

[K9Lover]

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Congratulations on talking to your Doctor, that is a huge step! I am on Antabuse and Prozac. Antabuse saved my life. I need to know that I can't drink. I tried to do it on my own for years and never succeeded. Antabuse is not a "crutch", it is a tool that we are fortunate to have. I'm very proud of you for taking control of your life. You will NEVER regret quitting drinking. I always say I got sober for my daughter...but I stay sober for me...which in turns benefits us both.

Keep up your great work!

K9

[mama bear]

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Godd job Momma.....really!!! It's so worth it!
Stay close to us here
I take Paxil, and it keeps me out of the deep hole of depression

[199days]

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I wish you all the best , grind it out it will get better and better.AlcoHell turned me into a manic depressive full of dark thoughts and doom, break free from it completely and watch things improve.