Army Thread 12th September

[littlepinkcat]

Army Thread 12th September

Zenstyle;1376988 wrote: She probably feckin did!!!!! hahaha!!!!!

HA HA HA, HOW IS ONERS NOWADAYS?

[Zenstyle]

Army Thread 12th September

I have the house all to myself tonight... just in case yous are wondering WTF?! It's not normal for someone to stay awake to talk to people on the other side of the pond... so I prefer to do it in private! )

[Zenstyle]

Army Thread 12th September

littlepinkcat;1376990 wrote: HA HA HA, HOW IS ONERS NOWADAYS?

She's rocking it...

[Zenstyle]

Army Thread 12th September

I was waiting to see JC but I reckon I can't wait that long... lol!!! It was good to catch up. Will see youz when I wake up... xxx

[littlepinkcat]

Army Thread 12th September

tarra zenners x

[littlepinkcat]

Army Thread 12th September

off to work, hope everyone has a good day

[JackieClaire]

Army Thread 12th September

General good mornings, wavings and yooooos hoooos today.

Orff to work in a min meself.

Just had a quick read back. Lovely seeing what the Army does best. Good, true and caring advice.

I'll have a proper read back later.

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Army Thread 12th September

Great post Molly. Guys as always you come through for each other.

Recluse;1376950 wrote: I kind of feel like I don't belong here any more cos everyone else is doing so well. Almost none of you are drinking and I can't seem to make any headway.

Reccie you are wrong about that I think, you have made headway. Also its sad to say but many people have left here over the years never to return, I am certain most of them didnt just find the answer overnight and are getting on with their lives AF. Climbing further into our shell and stopping posting or even lurking is counter productive. Personally I am not doing well either, despite everything I have been back drinking again. Not normal couple of beers here and there drinking but alkie drinking, but then I should know by now thats the way it always ends up. Sick and tired or being sick and tired? Me too but only one person can make the changes needed and thats ourselves..

[Recluse]

Army Thread 12th September

mollyka;1377001 wrote: Morning Army! And yep - I agree with Jacks - the army at it's very best. Great words of wisdom this morn. needed to hear some myself tbh.
Reccie, I'm really sorry you're struggling - I truly am - you sound overwhelmed. Two things I picked out of the earlier folks wisdom - I heard what Zenners said only last night in AA. Wherever you go - your head goes with you - HOWEVER - I would imagine having bad neighbours - not even BAD ones - just unpleasant ones, must be very difficult. It must feel like a constant kick in the teeth having someone 'glued' to your house making life 'not nice'. That needs to be the balance there.
I also agree with what Pinky said. My 'armour' going into rehab was really truly 'knowing' that my last rock bottom - which in all truth was not an alcohol one but an emotional one, was the lowest I could go. I couldn't go lower than that or it would've been cataclysmic to my psyche, it made any decisions that needed to be made really extraordinarily easy. I don't know the answer to that - do we need to bring ourselves down to that level somehow to succeed?? I really don't know, but it worked for me.

A lot of what has been said here this morning is resonating with me in a big way. I'm just thinking of the broader ramifications of drinking. Last night I had the worst night's sleep I've had for almost a year. I left in my gumshield for my teeth - and woke up at about 2 after about an hours sleep and my teeth were throbbing - really sore. Then Joey came in clattering round the house at 4am and I've been more or less awake since. Now the point of that big rigmarole is --- my mindset when I finally re-awoke this morn. Naturally I was tired ---- but omg, it was much more than that. I immediately had the 'oh god I can't bear the thought of going to work', 'we are so broke, how will we pay for......' 'I've to go down see Jamie, how will I get the house sorted' 'Joey's a brat waking us up like that' ---- and on and on and on.
What I'm trying to say is - in my drinking days I compartmentalized my drinking. Drink caused me strife, hangovers, less money and a certain amount of chaos. All the rest -- anti-social traits, anxieties, low self-esteem, gloom or depression - they were just 'ME'.
Now I know - they aren't just me --- all those negatives were also caused by alcohol, I've a long enough time sober this time to see the emerging 'real me'. But ALSO ----- HUGE imo --- the lack of GOOD sleep is such an enormous element of our drinking days. No amount of drunken sleep adds up to so much as an hour of real sleep, but any amount of sleep deprivation (be it through drinking or not) is very detrimental to our minds. I know myself enough now to recognise how I feel this morning --- but shit, if I felt like this every day - I'd very quickly get to the stage of 'what's the fucking point'.

Really sorry this is so long - just something I needed to say.
Love you Reccie --- I know, so sloppy and sentimental - and I'd truly hate you to isolate from mwo as well. And I have to say, when you say you didn't feel happy in your 3 months sober --- crikey, you sounded a lot happier
:l:l:l

Morning Jackie, whizzy and molly.

Back indoors for a mug of coffee (or two). I got a couple of hours of pruning done. It's only a small start, but at least I HAVE got started.

Sorry you had a rubbish night mollers. Thanks for taking the trouble to post your thoughts, especially as you must be very tired. Yep, I do understand and agree with the point that if I move, I will only be escaping from my neighbours but I won't be able to escape from me.

You mentioned that your rock bottom was an emotional rock bottom, not an alcohol rock bottom. I think I understand that too...I talked earlier about my personal rock bottom and I suspect that that is the same as or similar to what you mean by your emotional rock bottom. Maybe my alcohol rock bottom is yet to come. If so, it can't be far away.

I have the same problems with the anti-social traits, anxieties, low self-esteem, gloom or depression that you had. In truth, I had them in spades even before I began to drink heavily, but I know that the alcohol has made them worse and also added a certain amount of paranoia into the mix as well.

Regarding sleep, I must admit that I don't really understand why drunken sleep is supposed to be less beneficial than sober sleep. I know it is a different type of sleep, for example I can never remember my dreams after drunken sleep....maybe I don't have any...but I can often remember them after sober sleep. I usually feel reasonably well rested after drunken sleep and it is always uninterupted sleep. I wouldn't want to put ideas into your head....God forbid....but I would hazard a guess that if you had gone to sleep drunk yesterday you might have had an uninterupted night. I'm definitely not advocating the use of alcohol to help with sleep, just explaining how it seems to work for me.

Thanks again for posting. :l

[Recluse]

Army Thread 12th September

KTAB;1377017 wrote: Great post Molly. Guys as always you come through for each other.



Reccie you are wrong about that I think, you have made headway. Also its sad to say but many people have left here over the years never to return, I am certain most of them didnt just find the answer overnight and are getting on with their lives AF. Climbing further into our shell and stopping posting or even lurking is counter productive. Personally I am not doing well either, despite everything I have been back drinking again. Not normal couple of beers here and there drinking but alkie drinking, but then I should know by now thats the way it always ends up. Sick and tired or being sick and tired? Me too but only one person can make the changes needed and thats ourselves..

Xpost - morning tabbers

Shit.. I'm sorry you're still having problems. I'd hoped you were winning. You seem to have found a real interest in life with your gardening and I thought that might be helping you.

Have you heard any news about your job application or is it too soon?

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Army Thread 12th September

It does help Reccie, but in recent weeks I have stopped doing many of the other things that I need to do too. I know I can do this but staying stopped beyond about the 3 month mark has proven elusive on several occasions. Its like I am tired of trying or more likely just too lazy. AL robs me of my zest for life and of my energy but then thats always been a vicious circle. Plan on taking the dogs out now then if I can I will go for a swim. Too early to have hear about the job, I hope, as closing date for applications is friday.

[satz123]

Army Thread 12th September

Howyiz. On shagginphone here . Multi million corp and no bleedin internet.
Prolly didn't pay the bill !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reccie and Mr Tabs sorry to hear you are down today.
I for one on here don't give a monkeys who's drinking and who is not but I would be raging if you did't post cos of it!
Others on here are much more qualified to give advice - all I know is that we all have a journey and take different times and routes to get there.
I just pray we all get there eventually.

Reccie. My take on your house is if it is getting you down - put it up for sale now.
Sell as is. You won't get as much for it but what is most important here?
I know that overwhelming feeling so do NOW what you can to relieve it.
I know that sounds simplistic but maybe it is a solution. If you believe you will be more content elsewhere then you need to make it happen asap

[Recluse]

Army Thread 12th September

mollyka;1377035 wrote: Reccie!! Was afraid you'd gone back into your lair
Yeah - the sleep thing I sooooo get what you're saying. And I can only speak for ME. A wake up moment that I had in rehab was making exactly the same point you make there. Yes I'd have slept through all that disruption last night - but when I made a similar point the counsellor just eyeballed me and said 'sleep?? or passed out?' And yes, I think my 'sleep' was really passing out. I drank to that stage to guarantee (didn't work a lot of the time) not to have those horrible 4am wake-ups when all the anxieties flooded in. So -- FOR ME --- it wasn't real sleep - and definitely 95% of the time I wake up now - maybe not immediately refreshed - that can sometimes take an hour and some coffee - but my overall day just feels more rested. Last nights lack of that brought back those old feelings flooding back.
Yeah...I'm the same molly...passed out rather than asleep. It does seem to work for me though. I do worry sometimes about what would happen if a fire broke out while I was passed out, if the tv developed an electrical fault, for example. Wouldn't stand a chance.

satz123;1377076 wrote: Howyiz. On shagginphone here . Multi million corp and no bleedin internet.
Prolly didn't pay the bill !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL!! That happened to my main client a few years back when I was working in IT. They had all their servers in the room where I worked and accessed them via the Internet. At least they did until someone forgot to pay their Internet bill!

satz123;1377076 wrote: Reccie and Mr Tabs sorry to hear you are down today.
I for one on here don't give a monkeys who's drinking and who is not but I would be raging if you did't post cos of it!
Others on here are much more qualified to give advice - all I know is that we all have a journey and take different times and routes to get there.
I just pray we all get there eventually.

Reccie. My take on your house is if it is getting you down - put it up for sale now.
Sell as is. You won't get as much for it but what is most important here?
I know that overwhelming feeling so do NOW what you can to relieve it.
I know that sounds simplistic but maybe it is a solution. If you believe you will be more content elsewhere then you need to make it happen asap

Thanks satz. I did seriously consider the possibility of putting the place up for sale now, but there are simply too many issues that need addressing and I reckon I would have to sell for ?10k less, assuming the place even sold at all. My finances are deteriorating all the time and I simply can't afford to lose that sort of money. I have, however, spent a few hours working in the garden today and I reckon I may have got the bit between my teeth. And maybe knowing that I have to get the work done in order to sell might help to force some sobriety upon me. I'm knackered now and my back aches, but I'll be back out there again tomorrow morning, with any luck.

[anon]

Army Thread 12th September

Just popped back to say hi again. you sound a bit more positive Reccie.

It is lovely to see how much you are valued on this forum and selfishly I need someone to run virtually with me.

For what it is worth I am desperate to move from my house but Mr Grumpy will not budge.

How is the exercise Satsuma?

[Recluse]

Army Thread 12th September

I've been talking too much today, never a good thing, but I have to make one last post and say how pleased I am that the truth about the Hillsborough tragedy has finally come out today after 23 years. I'm sure Mrs A will share my sentiments. I hope they shut the fucking Sun newspaper down.

BBC News - Hillsborough papers: Cameron apology over 'double injustice'