Army Thread 12th September

[Zenstyle]

Army Thread 12th September

It's harder cos you're on your own Reccy. We both know that. Any interest in dating at all? I think you need a companion... xxx

[Recluse]

Army Thread 12th September

Zenstyle;1376954 wrote: Moving makes no difference. Wherever you go... there you are.

But... BUT!!! I think maybe a change may be good... if you can start working towards it. Fuck it, its only a house. A new "space" would be nice, wouldn't it... ?

Well moving would get me away from my neighbours. I live in a semi-detached house and don't get on with the neighbours. I want to buy a detached house. I also think a change of scenery would help.

[littlepinkcat]

Army Thread 12th September

Recluse;1376955 wrote: I went to see a counsellor for over a year, pinky. I ended the counselling last week because I was no longer making any progress with it and it was costing me a fortune.

u need to do it 4 u , ive seen lots of clients coming in to services and if their not ready it won't work, the way i like to see it is if when i first meet my new client and they have 'surrendered' and decided they cant fix their issue on their own nd they will do whatever it takes to resolve it, then i can nearly always guarentee that the client will leave the counselling feeling better with their issue weighing less on their mind and learned new coping mechanisims. I have 2 clients leaving in November and both had really tricky, complex issues and one was really hard to work with to break down her barriers and defense mechanisims, but because she was open to what i ahd to say and the counselling, its all clicked and both clients r doing fab, but the difference is they wanted to do it and would do whatever it took. You see what i mean Reccie ?

[Zenstyle]

Army Thread 12th September

Recluse;1376958 wrote: Well moving would get me away from my neighbours. I live in a semi-detached house and don't get on with the neighbours. I want to buy a detached house. I also think a change of scenery would help.

Yeah... a change of scenery probably would help. As long as you recognize it won't fix everything.

You know how this house was on my Nth nerve... well, I started working on it again. Said to myself I might as well. It's starting to look quite good and there are plenty of projects and I'm duty bound to complete them... and maybe you should do the same...

[Recluse]

Army Thread 12th September

Thanks for the kind words zenners and pinky....I wasn't fishing for compliments!

Zenstyle;1376957 wrote: It's harder cos you're on your own Reccy. We both know that. Any interest in dating at all? I think you need a companion... xxx

I'm probably too reclusive for that, zenny. Just taking piglet out into the crowds was a heck of a strain. As you know, I find it very hard to socialise.

[Zenstyle]

Army Thread 12th September

Gawd... lol... Reccy's been bombarded. Sorry bro... I got a bit too strong handed there... xxx

[Zenstyle]

Army Thread 12th September

Well.... you may be surprised. Not everyone is a party animal and there are people out there that like a quiet life too.

[littlepinkcat]

Army Thread 12th September

Zenstyle;1376964 wrote: Well.... you may be surprised. Not everyone is a party animal and there are people out there that like a quiet life too.

it took me ages to get to the quiet life kind of mind set, now im an exercise freak, whose always studying and i went to bed last night at 9.30 am, good god, lol, does me the world of good though, i feel much more settled

[Recluse]

Army Thread 12th September

littlepinkcat;1376959 wrote: u need to do it 4 u , ive seen lots of clients coming in to services and if their not ready it won't work, the way i like to see it is if when i first meet my new client and they have 'surrendered' and decided they cant fix their issue on their own nd they will do whatever it takes to resolve it, then i can nearly always guarentee that the client will leave the counselling feeling better with their issue weighing less on their mind and learned new coping mechanisims. I have 2 clients leaving in November and both had really tricky, complex issues and one was really hard to work with to break down her barriers and defense mechanisims, but because she was open to what i ahd to say and the counselling, its all clicked and both clients r doing fab, but the difference is they wanted to do it and would do whatever it took. You see what i mean Reccie ?

Yep, I do see what you mean pinky. I was very open and honest with my counsellor though...there was very little that I held back.

[Zenstyle]

Army Thread 12th September

littlepinkcat;1376959 wrote: u need to do it 4 u , ive seen lots of clients coming in to services and if their not ready it won't work, the way i like to see it is if when i first meet my new client and they have 'surrendered' and decided they cant fix their issue on their own nd they will do whatever it takes to resolve it, then i can nearly always guarentee that the client will leave the counselling feeling better with their issue weighing less on their mind and learned new coping mechanisims. I have 2 clients leaving in November and both had really tricky, complex issues and one was really hard to work with to break down her barriers and defense mechanisims, but because she was open to what i ahd to say and the counselling, its all clicked and both clients r doing fab, but the difference is they wanted to do it and would do whatever it took. You see what i mean Reccie ?

I was one of the ones that couldn't "relax" into therapy. She eventually got through with EMDR. The coping mechanisms have come back a bit since though.... more's the pity..... xxx

[Recluse]

Army Thread 12th September

Zenstyle;1376961 wrote: Yeah... a change of scenery probably would help. As long as you recognize it won't fix everything.

You know how this house was on my Nth nerve... well, I started working on it again. Said to myself I might as well. It's starting to look quite good and there are plenty of projects and I'm duty bound to complete them... and maybe you should do the same...

Yep, I do understand that moving won't solve everything, but I do think it would help quite a bit. When I first moved into this house over 20 years ago I had different neighbours and was fairly content and actually stopped drinking altogether, not that I was a problem drinker back then.

I intend to try to get the work done over the coming months and put the house up for sale in the spring if I can manage it.

[littlepinkcat]

Army Thread 12th September

EMDR, i dont specialise in that so cant say much about it as i don't know a lot.

Reccie sometimes u can be in counselling 4 years nd years, and be open nd tell the counsellour everything, but i believe clients need to hit a rock bottom b4 coming into counselling or b4 getting completly sober nd i dont mean little rock bottoms i mean something ind=side of them that screams enough is fucking enough i cant be living like this no more and im gonna do everything i can to change it, and everyones rock bottom is different some of us can have a few little rock bottoms but the big one is the one that will change u as it changes ur thinking and mindset. sometimes mind set can be changed without a rock bottom, but i rarely see this

[Zenstyle]

Army Thread 12th September

littlepinkcat;1376970 wrote: EMDR, i dont specialise in that so cant say much about it as i don't know a lot.

Reccie sometimes u can be in counselling 4 years nd years, and be open nd tell the counsellour everything, but i believe clients need to hit a rock bottom b4 coming into counselling or b4 getting completly sober nd i dont mean little rock bottoms i mean something ind=side of them that screams enough is fucking enough i cant be living like this no more and im gonna do everything i can to change it, and everyones rock bottom is different some of us can have a few little rock bottoms but the big one is the one that will change u as it changes ur thinking and mindset. sometimes mind set can be changed without a rock bottom, but i rarely see this

And I think you are right Pinky. Serious issues take serious counter-actions... and usually that won't happen until someone is sick and tired of the same old shit... x

[Recluse]

Army Thread 12th September

littlepinkcat;1376970 wrote: EMDR, i dont specialise in that so cant say much about it as i don't know a lot.

Reccie sometimes u can be in counselling 4 years nd years, and be open nd tell the counsellour everything, but i believe clients need to hit a rock bottom b4 coming into counselling or b4 getting completly sober nd i dont mean little rock bottoms i mean something ind=side of them that screams enough is fucking enough i cant be living like this no more and im gonna do everything i can to change it, and everyones rock bottom is different some of us can have a few little rock bottoms but the big one is the one that will change u as it changes ur thinking and mindset. sometimes mind set can be changed without a rock bottom, but i rarely see this

The counselling did help with a lot of things and I'm a lot less unhappy than I was when I first began counselling and I understand myself a lot better. I reached my personal rock bottom before the counselling started. I'm not sure whether if I've reached my alcohol rock bottom yet or whether that is still to come.

[Recluse]

Army Thread 12th September

Anyway, thanks for listening ladies. I should get myself off outside now and make a start on the garden. And you should prolly be trying to get some sleep zenners!