Tail Between the Legs Thread

[Mick]

Tail Between the Legs Thread

Hi bouchard...think your thread is a great idea...I am 3 months Sunday af...,one thing that does strike me is this embarrassment you mention of saying that you dont drink..on a personal level I dont really give a monkeys how or what anyone thinks...I am actually proud to say I dont drink..you will be amazed at the amount of people that say wish I could quit etc etc,and really get into it

keep it up
Mick

[Tipplerette]

Tail Between the Legs Thread

OK now using this thread for what it was meant for. Yesterday I was at my Uncle's all day. He owns a sewing machine and helped me make valences for the lake house windows. It took all day and we had two beers while working. I got home late and we watched some TV. I insisted we open a bottle of wine and we drank most of it. I was not drunk but a little dehydrated this morning. WHY does alcohol call me so loudly and WHY do I always HEED the call?

I am so sick of drinking on an almost daily basis regardless of the fact that it's half bottle of wine usually. Does it make sense that I feel that THIS is too much? I use the excuse that it's not a lot of booze daily to keep drinking booze daily. Talk about shooting myself in the foot.

[bouchard01]

Tail Between the Legs Thread

Hi Tip. I think the fact that it bothers you means its too much for you. I'm the same way. I hate that the "alcohol" controls my thoughts & impulses. I hate me when I give in. We live, we learn .... I know we can & will do this. Thanks Mick for the encouragement. I need it.

[Tipplerette]

Tail Between the Legs Thread

Hey Bouchard, we are now both starting over... we can do this. I keep waiting for it to be easy and natural. I guess that's not going to happen eh..

Hard work is inevitable and this lazypants doesn't like hard work. To beat this would open so many doors for me as I feel that my obsession with it is crippling me emotionally, spiritually and physically. I can't get anywhere if this is all I think about.

What can we do to make this permanent?? What a TRAP I am in !!

[RingingCedars]

Tail Between the Legs Thread

Tipplerette;1383065 wrote: OK now using this thread for what it was meant for. Yesterday I was at my Uncle's all day. He owns a sewing machine and helped me make valences for the lake house windows. It took all day and we had two beers while working. I got home late and we watched some TV. I insisted we open a bottle of wine and we drank most of it. I was not drunk but a little dehydrated this morning. WHY does alcohol call me so loudly and WHY do I always HEED the call?

I am so sick of drinking on an almost daily basis regardless of the fact that it's half bottle of wine usually. Does it make sense that I feel that THIS is too much? I use the excuse that it's not a lot of booze daily to keep drinking booze daily. Talk about shooting myself in the foot.

Hi Tips and All,
Mrs. Tips what was this thread meant for? Not trying to be contrary, that comment just struck me as ambiguous. I think you've asked yourself a some key questions. Questions I'd guess we all ask ourselves at one time or another.

I wonder is it the daily/moderate drinking or the chance of the overboard drinking that really bothers? Another poster named Nancy often mentions harm reduction as an attainable goal. Are you progressing in harm reduction? I know I have without doubt.

Keep asking yourself questions and respecting your intuit enough to keep making the changes you want for yourself. And hold your tail up high! :l

[Sunbeam]

Tail Between the Legs Thread

Hi Tip,
RC makes some good points. I think your signature is telling, you don't have a goal right now. When you were posting in July, you were on the AF road for three weeks. The AF vs. drinking moderately decision is a big one. If you plan to keep alcohol in the picture, I'm really not sure why you started this thread because you are simply leading the life of a moderate drinker, at least as I experienced it. It felt like a billion times I really thought I would have just a glass or two of wine, but I would polish off the bottle. Now I have finally accepted the fact that I cannot predictably stop drinking when I plan to, and I am doing all I can to achieve an AF goal. No angst says it all for me.

[Tipplerette]

Tail Between the Legs Thread

I started this thread because I often have attempted abstinence, been successful for a number of weeks then failed and was afraid to post.

Moderation is everyone's dream and yes, since joining MWO and especially this year, I have cut down considerably. It really bothers me that I want abstinence with one part of me and accept wavering moderation with the other.

I am sorry if I don't make any sense. My mind and my train of thoughts confuse the heck out of me too. I can go from promising myself abstinence one minute and planning on moderation the next.

So call me fickle, call me confused. The shoe fits.

I call myself on what you two just mentioned all the time and that is the reason I am still here. Maybe this forum is not where I belong but since I have found comfort and great information here, this is where I hang my hat.

A person lay dying and a close family member asked her what she had spent her life doing. Her sad response was "Trying to control my drinking." I don't want that person to be me. So I either let go of abstinence and continue with my half bottle of wine most nights or kick the beast to the curb which I am finding impossible. I have not yet wanted it bad enough I guess. No alcohol related losses or disasters.

Maybe I should sign off for a while.

[oldershouldknowbetter]

Tail Between the Legs Thread

Tipplerette;1383524 wrote: I started this thread because I often have attempted abstinence, been successful for a number of weeks then failed and was afraid to post.

Moderation is everyone's dream and yes, since joining MWO and especially this year, I have cut down considerably. It really bothers me that I want abstinence with one part of me and accept wavering moderation with the other.

I am sorry if I don't make any sense. My mind and my train of thoughts confuse the heck out of me too. I can go from promising myself abstinence one minute and planning on moderation the next.

So call me fickle, call me confused. The shoe fits.

I call myself on what you two just mentioned all the time and that is the reason I am still here. Maybe this forum is not where I belong but since I have found comfort and great information here, this is where I hang my hat.

A person lay dying and a close family member asked her what she had spent her life doing. Her sad response was "Trying to control my drinking." I don't want that person to be me. So I either let go of abstinence and continue with my half bottle of wine most nights or kick the beast to the curb which I am finding impossible. I have not yet wanted it bad enough I guess. No alcohol related losses or disasters.

Maybe I should sign off for a while.

Please don't do that. You've reached a considerable amount of people with your post and your thoughts. I read many of them with interest, my situation is much the same as yours, others aren't. There are plenty of other places for those people to post - your thread is clearly labeled! No one has ownership of these boards - your route is as valid, valuable and interesting as any other. I totally agree with you; whilst it can be inspiring to see the many successful stories, for those who are in a different place maybe they need to read threads such as this.

A big thank you Tipperlette!!:thanks:

[scottish lass]

Tail Between the Legs Thread

Tipp, please don?t leave.
I for one need this thread.
I think there are different ways that people can achieve their objectives, and it may take us longer than others and in ways that not everyone else thisks is the right path. There are many different ways to skin a cat!
I am loyal to a couple of threads that work for me. And working for me may not meet everyone?s approval.
I do know that I am much better off than I was 18 months ago, but I am not AF ?..YET!
Last month I managed 19 AF days out of the month. So far I am at 17 this month, so will improve on last month. If I keep improving every month, I will be happy.
I have whole lot going on in my life and cannot devote myself to this 100%. So little steps are working for me.
This thread has proved to be useful and welcomed by many.
I would suggest that each finds their own place of support and if a thread doesn?t work for them, they don?t need to sign on to it.
I know that the only reason I am not drinking every day as I used to, is because I check in here once or twice daily ? on the dyas I don?t, I am not as successful.
Keep this thread going, there are two or three threads that I am a loyal reader of and this is one of them ? I need it?.
In gratitude Tipp, and DO NOT go away, love SL

[mama bear]

Tail Between the Legs Thread

Tip
Don't go anywhere hun. You need us and we need you. There are memebers here who will challenge you, and you need to ignore them or learn from their comments, if they are right.
We are very vulnerable when we try to stop drinking and our feelings ae raw..........

[Sunbeam]

Tail Between the Legs Thread

I think you should keep reading and posting. You may gradually discover what your motivations are, what will make you satisfied with your life, and how to achieve the goal that you select. I don't wish to criticise any choice you make. I guess you started this thread because you are conflicted about what to do, and want to post your thoughts. This is a journey for all of us. My personal shortcoming in this conversation is that I hear you saying what I said and was thinking a short time ago, but each of us does need to find their own path. You will make your decision when you are ready. Right now your decision is different than mine and I wish to respect that, but also ask questions that could help you find your own path.

[mama bear]

Tail Between the Legs Thread

well said Sun!!

[daisy45]

Tail Between the Legs Thread

Tipps; you stay right where you are! So many slip and disappear from here; you have created somewhere for people to keep their toes in the water while contemplating 'what's next?'
We all have something to learn from one anothers slips and successes; you have helped me out so many times and I will always be here to do the same back!

[K9Lover]

Tail Between the Legs Thread

I was only able to quit when I got PISSED at alcohol. I mean, I would never let a person treat me the way that beer was treating me. Would I invite someone to my house that beat me up and stole my money? That's what alcohol was doing to me. I finally said "Oh hell no...F**K this!" You have to HATE alcohol. Your body naturally hates it because it's poison, now you just need to get your mind to hate it too. There is no buzz in the world that is worth your self-esteem and sanity. Alcohol takes all the good from you and only leaves despair in it's place. There was one particular thing that REALLY stood out for me in Jason Vales book...it said "When you pass out, that is your body making the choice to keep you AWAKE or ALIVE"....huh. Imagine, every night my body was forced to make that decision...do I stay awake or do I keep breathing, because I'm so poisoned right now that I can't do both!!??? That scared the bejeezus out of me. Tipps, PLEASE do not leave. At the very least, keep reading. Someday your quit will "stick"...I promise it will if you never give up.

Love,
K9

[mama bear]

Tail Between the Legs Thread

damn K9...well said!!