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    #31
    Tail Between the Legs Thread

    Hi Tip,

    Is your tail still working well ??, or he is also impaired and needs some medication ??.Things to remember to be AF .
    Dont know if I am kidding or raising a serious question here ? LOL ..OK
    Dix
    A learned habit surely be unlearned !!

    2012: Continuous AF for 7 months from May to Oct.

    Big Relapses : 6th November and 12th December 2012.

    2013 : So many ups and down !!

    2014: Has a conviction to stay with a healthy life.

    Comment

      #32
      Tail Between the Legs Thread

      dixon;1378275 wrote: Hi Tip,

      Is your tail still working well ??, or he is also impaired and needs some medication ??.Things to remember to be AF .
      Dont know if I am kidding or raising a serious question here ? LOL ..OK
      Dix
      Hey Dixon, my tail is wagging right now because I just got back from a bar/restaurant and had a perrier and lemon. So my little tail is really going to beat the band.

      Hope you are doing better after reading all the great advice on the latest situation you are in. I feel for you.

      Happy here.
      Tipplerette

      I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

      "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
      ? Lao-Tzu

      Comment

        #33
        Tail Between the Legs Thread

        Prairie Fairy;1378133 wrote: Hey Tipp -

        I have up and on and off this pony so often that I feel like I am card carrying member...I just got "here" as in - done - fed up with it - over it - last quit so help me God - just a few weeks ago.

        Had to. :-)

        So I'm day 25 today - of quit 1 million something. But I'm not going back. And I started the AB to make sure of that.

        So - if you don't mind that I'm a couple weeks ahead - I'll come hang. Because I've left with my tail between my legs and come limping back more than once....
        Of course we welcome you with open arms and wagging tails. Day 25 WOW !! Never reached that goal. I bought a cheap little bracelet with 30 little beads on it and I have a little gold safety pin that I will move one bead along every day until I reach 30 days. It is right on my wrist all the time and I had to laugh tonight when I counted the beads for the first time. Thanks again to the universe for even aligning my bracelet to suit my counting my AF days. 30 beads: coincidence???

        Hopefully this is our last quit.
        Tipplerette

        I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

        "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
        ? Lao-Tzu

        Comment

          #34
          Tail Between the Legs Thread

          HabitualDefender;1378143 wrote: Well said Tipp, it's like fall down 7 times, get up 8.

          It can wear a person down, though, so I think about any promises carefully before I jump to make them. For me, this is my third long weekend in a row, a holiday followed by 2 weddings, the last one is tomorrow. Just trying to be realistic, so I refrained from setting any AF goals for right now because my taper has been going great. AL consumption from about a month ago has been less than 50% and stable...and holding.

          One thing I noticed while on the taper, is my thoughts and feelings. Not especially pleasant. I long for the days when I was generally positive-happy-go-lucky and the world was a wonderful place, but I can't deny the pattern that my thinking has followed for the last 5-10 years leaning toward the negative-cynical-paranoid-irritable. And the dreams! Damn frustrating and scary, but I soon realize it was only a dream.

          -HD
          Wow, lots of stuff to look forward to. I noticed that my negative thoughts were at their height when I was reading my Zen material as if the axis of evil was trying to break through my spiritual enlightenment. Wierd but true.

          Your tapering off is quite impressive and I wish for you the best.
          Tipplerette

          I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

          "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
          ? Lao-Tzu

          Comment

            #35
            Tail Between the Legs Thread

            Hi Tipp, glad to see you back. I have nearly 10 solid af though not consecutive weeks in now. Making progress, continuing learning, that's what counts. I'm working with a recovery list I based on the current last post of the tool box. Take a look if you are searching for something more than white knuckles. I'm getting my brain firmly focused on "I don't want to drink" instead of "I can't drink".
            My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

            Comment

              #36
              Tail Between the Legs Thread

              Tipplerette;1378280 wrote: Hey Dixon, my tail is wagging right now because I just got back from a bar/restaurant and had a perrier and lemon. So my little tail is really going to beat the band.

              Hope you are doing better after reading all the great advice on the latest situation you are in. I feel for you.

              Happy here.

              Tip,

              You say wagging but it wont work properly ,if works it will be wagging towards wrong places...and never forget it stops wagging in long term if you keep on drinking.
              I know you know more than me , my duty here is just to remind you.
              It will make you impotent at all.What ever you are feeling now that is a false sense of stamina ....people say guilty pleasure !
              In my case I am feeling better and almost decided not to contact her at all but will make sure her that I wont harm her prestige/future at all.What do you think of it ?
              take care !

              Dix
              A learned habit surely be unlearned !!

              2012: Continuous AF for 7 months from May to Oct.

              Big Relapses : 6th November and 12th December 2012.

              2013 : So many ups and down !!

              2014: Has a conviction to stay with a healthy life.

              Comment

                #37
                Tail Between the Legs Thread

                Besides the tail wagging discussion which has totally confused me, I think your plan to not contact her is the only sane thing you can do. If you go along with her threats, she will control you forever. No more contact is the only way. Take care of yourself Dixon. I remember you from the very beginning when you were very troubled. You have come so far and are a great example of what one can do when he/she puts his/her mind to it. Very happy for your success.
                Tipplerette

                I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

                "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
                ? Lao-Tzu

                Comment

                  #38
                  Tail Between the Legs Thread

                  dixon;1378297 wrote: Tip,

                  You say wagging but it wont work properly ,if works it will be wagging towards wrong places...and never forget it stops wagging in long term if you keep on drinking.
                  I know you know more than me , my duty here is just to remind you.
                  It will make you impotent at all.What ever you are feeling now that is a false sense of stamina ....people say guilty pleasure !

                  Dix
                  Hi Dix my friend.

                  I know you mean well but please honor the spirit of this thread. It is not your duty to remind them. I am quite certain they know what they are up against.

                  Be well,
                  :l
                  On My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
                  *If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
                  https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html tool box
                  https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html newbie nest

                  Comment

                    #39
                    Tail Between the Legs Thread

                    Ann Carolina;1378266 wrote: So glad to see this post. I wanted to get some input on something. I had a business dinner not too long ago and I ordered a martini (yes my chouce but encouraged bu a friend next to me) On hos other side at this plce was a friend who knows all about my drinking problem and struggle.
                    She pointed to the martini and said WHAT is that ? I said a martini. SHe scowls and scolds " ANN ", then I look over and again "ANN". The guy in between us was perplexed but didn't say anything. And yes it was stupid. And no I did not take my AB for a few days.
                    I paid for this mistake. But I just wonder if my resentmant of her reaction is the alcohol brain talking

                    Any thoughts? I do much better when treated with compassion, or it could be I'm just an immature ass
                    HinAnn:

                    I believe your friend was patronizing and wrong despite her good intentions.
                    Your heart knows the difference which is why IMO you were troubled.

                    This is your fight. No one else's .

                    :l
                    On My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
                    *If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
                    https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html tool box
                    https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html newbie nest

                    Comment

                      #40
                      Tail Between the Legs Thread

                      Kradle, I love your signature quote. It takes a moment to sink in but when it does, it hits the nail on the head.
                      Tipplerette

                      I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

                      "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
                      ? Lao-Tzu

                      Comment

                        #41
                        Tail Between the Legs Thread

                        Ann, I agree with Kradle. It is just not her place to scold you in a crowd. Very uncomfortable situation indeed.
                        Tipplerette

                        I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

                        "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
                        ? Lao-Tzu

                        Comment

                          #42
                          Tail Between the Legs Thread

                          welcome back!

                          Welcome back Tip.
                          Let me ask you this, what are the main things you get out of drinking? It's clear that it's a big part of your social environment. What about personally? Are you trying to relieve something? Boredom? Anxiety? What goes through your mind when you first start craving a drink?

                          Comment

                            #43
                            Tail Between the Legs Thread

                            Ann,

                            I was trying to picture myself in your situation and your friends situation......

                            If I was your true friend and deeply cared about you and knew your struggles and was proud and excited for your movement towards an AF life I might feel crushed to see you cave under pressure and be sad and hurt for you and I could easily transform that into what you perceived as judgement and scowels.....

                            If I was you in that situation I would already be down on myself for caving and could easily take the care and disapoinent from a true friend as judgement and scowels..

                            I don't really know you, your friend or the true situation, but just wanted to offer some outsider perception to aid in truely assessing the situation and getting the most out of it..... Plus I don't want to see you loose a good friend!
                            And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back so shake him off ~ Florence and the Machine

                            Comment

                              #44
                              Tail Between the Legs Thread

                              nancy;1378370 wrote: Welcome back Tip.
                              Let me ask you this, what are the main things you get out of drinking? It's clear that it's a big part of your social environment. What about personally? Are you trying to relieve something? Boredom? Anxiety? What goes through your mind when you first start craving a drink?
                              Good question, Nancy

                              Boredom is what hubby says I am trying to relieve. I was born and raised in downtown Toronto and now live in the countryside in a French speaking environment. I speak enough French to get by but miss out on so much when in a crowd. I sit there quietly and it's boring. it's a litlte disheartening too. I think I am a little sad that I gave up my world to join hubby in his. But that is no excuse to drink although wine does alleviate some of that sadness/boredom. Everything else in our relationship is fantastic and we need to live where we live because that's where the business is.

                              if I didn't drink, I might find other interesting things to do to keep myself occupied. I hate TV (except the Wednesday night comedies) so that's not a good option for me. Anyways, that's the best I can do and it was a good exercise to have to admit that i am sad. Not really ever done that before as I feel so lucky to live in a cottage by the river and have a house on a lake with a beach no less. Just a bit lonely.
                              Tipplerette

                              I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

                              "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
                              ? Lao-Tzu

                              Comment

                                #45
                                Tail Between the Legs Thread

                                For all who need a safe place to start again...

                                :bump:

                                Don't be sitting there beating yourself up. Come on in for some much needed support. PPQ

                                (Keeping the thread at the top)

                                Comment

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