Hello Tips, well I guess this thread is for the likes of me. Been here so many times and here again. I haven't read back on the thread - can't bear to. I know you created it for those who may be a tad embarrassed to come back but now I'm feeling embarrassed to even come back here. I know I'm the failure on MWO - been here a year and not managed 30 days. Pathetic really. Is there a thread that's for the totally embarrassed, can't even come to the tail between the legs thread!
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Tail Between the Legs Thread
Hello Tips, well I guess this thread is for the likes of me. Been here so many times and here again. I haven't read back on the thread - can't bear to. I know you created it for those who may be a tad embarrassed to come back but now I'm feeling embarrassed to even come back here. I know I'm the failure on MWO - been here a year and not managed 30 days. Pathetic really. Is there a thread that's for the totally embarrassed, can't even come to the tail between the legs thread!You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life? Rumi
:lilangel:
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Tail Between the Legs Thread
Boozer, you and me both - damn Friday!! Back on track again and need to kill a Friday next time....
Back to make the week work and by hook and by crook I will make it past the weekend next time!“The only courage you will ever need is the courage to live the life you want"
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Tail Between the Legs Thread
Weekends here are impossible! I am surrounded by wineries restaurants and pubs. The thing is I WISH I could be a normal drinker,but i am not! I can never stop at one or two glasses. I am no spring chicken (60 yo ) and think what the hell!!! But deep down I know I want to stop, just find the cravings very strong to not give into. Anyhow, nice to have talked to you
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Tail Between the Legs Thread
Hi everybody:
just wanted to pop on this great thread and say I slipped but didnt fall last night. No excuses of course, just an explaination. The pressure with Matt has been horrendous lately and then Thursday he called me from school and said, "Mommy I was airing out my shirt after a run in PE, and the tacher accused me of masterbating...My chld is 13 and won't even undress in the gym locker becasue he is so shy...
Needless to say I am meetings, we are having an 'investigatiion ' sexual harrasemnt training is being recommended. I am recommeding they all have their fucking heads examined. :upset:
So I was spining in my head since Thursday and then Saturday, the twins were at a sleepover, Matt was at a teen event and well...
Anyway, as Mr. G pointed out (I think it was him) the slip started before I poured a drink. I was already feeling vulnerable and then Thursay just sent me into shock. I really didn't know how to deal with that level of craziness-
I guess I better figure out a better plan...It really is paralysing. Wasn't prepared for just...paralysis, shock.
The simple motivation for me was to get the hell out of my head for awhile. I've been doing pretty well silencing the chatter but this just blindsided me.
Doing good today and tonight. Back in the saddle. Thanks for listening. Rambling again...
:hOn My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
*If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
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Tail Between the Legs Thread
Oh Kradle - I am so very sorry. How awful for you. :l I can't even believe that you are having to deal with that. My gosh, he can't even take his shirt off??
Great job on getting right back on track. :l"Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.".....Carol Burnett
..........
AF - 7-27-15
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Tail Between the Legs Thread
Boozer - :l:l:l
Kradle - so sorry! Lifes curve balls stink don't they, just when we want to win, they take that away from us!:l:l Friday I had to sign papers for our house to be sold, short sell - which leaves my credit in such a mess - it will take me a while to recover, I knew it was coming but the reality shocked me - the house is in my name as my ex was self employed, so he is getting off scot free, and that made me mad - the combination threw me over.
Ladies, let's keep winning - because we are, because we have not given up and we will keep on trying and one day will will have beaten the beast - we will overcome.....“The only courage you will ever need is the courage to live the life you want"
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Tail Between the Legs Thread
Kradle, that was horrible. I can imagine your poor son being put threw the ringer for something he didn't do. A mother is only as happy as her saddest child. Good for you for coming here and telling us about the slip. You are only human and this really takes the cake as far as tearing your heart out and stomping on it. We really feel pain when our kids are feeling pain. I will say that if all goes well and the truth comes out, this will only be a distant, distasteful memory in a year. Maybe it's too soon to say that but that is how I comfort myself when the world comes crashing down. Hang in there friend!!
Scottish Lass, life can be so unfair, eh..You would think that a decent man would take his share of financial responsibility regardless of what's on paper but hey, we can only dream. I like to think that people are basically good. I guess acceptance is all you can hope for. The prayer of serenity might be in order. I am not much for prayers but that one always comforts me at times like this. Stay strong, Lassy. xxTipplerette
I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.
"If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
? Lao-Tzu
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Tail Between the Legs Thread
Good Morning everyone:
And thank you soooo much Nora, SL & Tipps for your encouragement and kind words. We really are as happy as our saddest child, Tipps. Well said. And you're right, life's curve balls really suck. SL
I can absolutely say with confidence however that this will NOT DERAIL me from my AF life. I see very clearly that there is NO way on the planet I can clean up this crap and be there for Matt if I am cocktailing every night. And Despite the slip, I really don't want to . I am seing that I am pretty smart and effective sober. Who knew? And during that Friday Meeting they had so much contradictory crap on the table it was embarassing. But I just methodically pointed it all out. I don't think I could have done that with nightly drinking sessions under me...The bad thing is that regardless, they are beaurocrats, and unless I have Johnny Cochran standing besides me, the best I can hope for is a different right up. They are CYA all the way. :durn:
Thanks again you guys. Love your support. I depend on it. :lOn My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
*If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html tool box
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Tail Between the Legs Thread
Kradle123;1382080 wrote:
The simple motivation for me was to get the hell out of my head for awhile.
Kradle,
I had that exact type of feeling when I was 3-6 months into my sobriety. That was my most difficult period... it was like I was stuck in limbo. I didn't feel great about being quit, but I also knew that having a drink wasn't going to fix anything either. It was like "damned if I do, damned it I don't". Nothing felt right, and i was tired of it all. And most of all...
I was tired of being around ME! ....Everywhere I went, there I was! lol
What I really wanted, was to somehow take a vacation from myself. Alcohol USED to do that for me. Temporarily. But NOW I had to find new skills to cope with life. That was hard. Truthfully, that was the hardest thing I have ever had to learn. But I did. Those few months were the toughest... felt like I was in a dark tunnel with no end in sight. My mantra for those months was "keep on keeping on".... that little saying helped me get through the days when my sobriety really didn't seem to matter. The other thing that helped, was what I learned from quitting smoking a year earlier.... I knew that dark periods are only temporary... they too shall pass.
And it did.
It truly felt magical... it was if I came to the end of this long dark tunnel that I had been in, and suddenly could see the glorious sun shining in! That was a turning point for my quit... and I've never looked back.
You can get there too!AF 6 years
NF 7 years
A journey of a thousand miles begins with one single step
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Tail Between the Legs Thread
Dear Kradle,
My thoughts are with you as you try to protect and defend your Matt in this sordid situation...at one point, in one school, I felt that the "authorities" were really ganging up on our son, and what I really needed at that point was an ally to help me deal with the whole mess...
I hope that there is SOMEONE you can get to go with you to these meetings, and to be "in your corner"...
In my case, finally one of my boy's teachers, a kind, kind man, came to help me/us...(my husband was, of course, out of the country on business, and to be honest, might have been too upset himself to help the situation..adding to MY problem, anyway!)
Anyway, I am sending you encouraging thoughts as you deal with this trial. FF. "It is only with the heart that one can see clearly; that which is essential, is invisible to the eye.". Antoine de Saint-Exupery
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Tail Between the Legs Thread
Hello Kradle,
Just wanted to jump in here and say how sorry I am you're going through this - awful! But, how good is it that you've had all the AF time under your belt to deal with it. You know you can handle it because you are being the authentic you without booze. Well done! I have no doubt you'll out the truth. Stay strong and brush off the 'slip' - very minor in the scheme of things :l:lYou were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life? Rumi
:lilangel:
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You guys are just to wonderful :l
Fallen,: God! A vacation from myself ! That's it exactly. I know the dark times won't last mostly because I do have some knew found methods to deal with situations more simply, less emotional. It still sucks mind you but there are more small to medium victories thank goodness. My mantra is , " slow and steady wins the race. :h
Far: I'm so sorry you too had to suffer the sling and arrows of complete idiots as well. :l
To update, I spoke with his principal again today and gently made it clear I would not tolerate my son being saddled with a sexual complaint against him. If he had been doing what they accused him of then...well, he would have to accept the consequences but he was innocent. I do believe the principal thought to himself that the PE's teachers accusation was way off base but he was limited on a resolution so...we agreed that he would read the 'Sexual Harrassment' pamphlet" (did you know that 'winking' is considered harassment? CRICKY! ) with us which he did and the complaint would be rewritten and I would seeit for approval. All in all I think we all dodged a bullet on this one but I have to honest; I'm looking at home schooling with the local Academy here...Have to stay sober for that most definitely!
Free- I did feel authentic in that meeting. I faced 4 people on the other side of the table and felt like I could handle it. Of course I did my homework the night before regarding my rights had it got ugly. I am grateful it didnt and also that I didn't have 4 glasses of wine while preparing...
Matt did okay today. I think he felt off balance somewhat but we went to the gym together tonight and had fun learning the new machines. You should see this thigh cruncher...:H
Time for dinner.
Thanks again everyone,
Love and hugs,
:lOn My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
*If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html tool box
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html newbie nest
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Tail Between the Legs Thread
Kradle..I am chiming in a bit late to offer my support. I am glad it worked out like it did.
Fallen - your post really touched me. I have a long lenght of sober time under my belt and I just feel blah. I am using the mantra, "Fake it till You Make It"
It's good to know there is a light at the end of the tunnel!I love my family more than alcohol.:h
Live in the Solution....not the problem
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Tail Between the Legs Thread
Hi Everyone!
Kradle - I cannot believe the story of your son taking his shirt off...things have gotten SO out of hand. A co-worker of mine told me I look nice today, but he bent over backwards making sure he wasn't sexually harrassing me....jeez, you can't do anything these days without a possible crime being committed. I have pictures on my phone of my nephews mooning me...I'd probably get arrested if someone saw!
I found a new "cure" for cravings....clean out your refrigerator. If you're like me, you'll stumble upon a hairy monster at the back and that will keep you busy ALL night! LOL
Stay strong everyone...we can kick AL's ass!
p.s. I found a beer WAAAAY in the back of my fridge...I coudn't believe it because I always knew exactly how much I had at all times....it was so old that the can felt half empty!:heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:
Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.
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Well I didn't make it without for the weekend ... family Memorial things but I am back on the wagon ...Growth means change and change involves risk, stepping from the know to the unknown."
Author Unknown :h
AF - Sept 4, 2012
10 days - Sept 13, 2012
2 weeks - Sept 17, 2012
Slip on the weekend but tried too moderate!
AF - Sept 24, 2012 (get back on the headaches not worth it)
Slippery slope Oct 1 ..... Trying to not give up!
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