Tail Between the Legs Thread

[K9Lover]

Tail Between the Legs Thread

:l I'm glad you're sticking around Tipps....Thank you for not making me come and hunt you down! LOL

I know that sometimes it's embarrassing or shameful to keep coming back and saying you messed up or are back on Day 1...but the point is you KEEP coming back. Eventually your quit will "stick". I have years and years and years of calendars where I marked down sober days (normal drinkers DO NOT do this). Seriously, a whole decade of tracking my drinking...that's a hell of a lot of Day 1's! My long-winded point is that each of us will get there in our own time. I could only quit when I was ready. Yes, I GOT sober for my daughter...I just couldn't hurt her anymore...but I STAY sober for me...which benefits us both! And it takes a long time to gain back the trust of people we've hurt. I know for quite a while my daughter did not want to go to her dad's house for the weekend because she thougth I'd drink. She finally knows that I will NOT. Only actions can gain back trust, our words lost their meaning a long time ago.

Well I am rambling, so I will wrap it up! I hope you all have a good weekend and please stay strong. A craving will never last as long as a hangover...ride it out and show this Beast who's BOSS.

Love,
K9

[Sunbeam]

Tail Between the Legs Thread

Tip, I hope you feel the tremendous relief I felt when I made my most recent decision to quit for good. You will need to work hard because our alcohol-damaged brains continue to deceive us, but the battle is worth the reward. Hooray!

[almost free]

Tail Between the Legs Thread

Hi All,

I'm new here. I am having a devil of a time since I'm not very computer savvy and this is the first time I've ever been on a forum or in a chat room. I was all inspired on a thread about those who were quitting cigarettes as well and was all ready to join them, only to discover that the posts were two years old. Did I feel stupid! Just can't seem to navigate the site very well. Am just a dinosaur when it comes to electronic things.

I, too, was a chronic relapser for years. Finallly managed to get two years of sobriety together. I believe that following the diet recommendations and supplements set forth in 'Seven Weeks to Sobriety" (many of the same tips given on MWO) really helped with the cravings and recovery. I also started smoking after having quit for 20 years. The cigarettes gave me a substitute for a drink when I was really upset or stressed. It was comforting to go out back on the patio and light up, since I didn't want to pour a drink. It was a helpful crutch, but now it's time to quit again.

I went out a couple of years ago and I have been struggling ever since. I was discouraged after the relapse by the shaming attitude and lectures I got from my 12 step group and didn't want to return. You know, the holding up of your hand as a 'newcomer' for 30 days as part of your 'punishment.' I just didn't want to return. I was so happy to discover MWO. Everyone seems so very kind and supportive. No lectures, no condemnation, no dogma. Everyone just saying what worked for them. And encouragement. What a breath of fresh air.

Today is day 4 for me and I'm still rather shaky, even though I am taking l-glutamine, niacin, and other supplements. They seem to be out of the kudzu rescue. I'd love to try that. I used to bounce back much faster. I guess it has taken its toll. Anyway, I am so grateful to be here and received some very kind responses to my first post. Thanks everyone for being here.

[RingingCedars]

Tail Between the Legs Thread

Tips, just reading back on your thread now. I'm really sorry if you thought I was making any subtle suggestions that you leave. God forbid I should have a right to do that! I just thought my questions may be thought provoking and lead to some harmonization of thoughts and actions. Glad you're staying!

I used drink tracker to gradually cut back and I didn't kick myself up the rear (well sometimes I did) whenever I couldn't put a zero in the day. I began counting days af in the month and then days af in total days if that makes sense and I was very pleased with the improvements, which lead to more improvements. As well I continued to pare down the excessive drinking in a evening of drinking. That's not perfected yet either.

I think that the best and most satisfying progress is one that you plan and realize--NOT another's concept of what you should be doing.

Welcome AlmostFree and congrats on day 4. You've done this before so you know you can do it! They make you put your hand up?? FTS

[Tipplerette]

Tail Between the Legs Thread

Thanks for the clarification, RC.

Paring down and moderating do not work for me. Once the first glass is poured, it's bottoms up for me. Although I managed to cut down over the past year, I still had lots of mornings when I would wake up pissed off at myself. That's no way to live.

Using the drinktracker to keep me motivated.

[scottish lass]

Tail Between the Legs Thread

Tipp, will have to go find that other thread you refer too.
I managed 19 AF days in September, so did not beat August, but matched it - and it was a HELL of a month personally for me, so I am happy with what I achieved.
I struggled all weekend long, but Sat and Sun were AF, so off to a strong start on Oct 1st - I would like Oct to be AF, but at the very minimum, I will beat 19 days!

[scottish lass]

Tail Between the Legs Thread

Felt like checking in here today as I continue to struggle - really tough weekend for me, and I did drink on Sunday. I am at 7/10 AF days for the month and if I keep this going it will be an improvement to last two months and a HUGE improvement to before starting MWO, so I have to be happy with this.
What happened to this thread, I thought it was really good...

[LillyE]

Tail Between the Legs Thread

Well, I'm here Scottish, and I could use the support if anyone else still is reading along. Ironically, after an earlier positive encouraging post here I've had a fall. After a year of struggling to get to 30 days - longest I managed was 24 - starting July I had a lovely 80 day run, which I fell off for stupid and utterly unplanned reasons. Short story: A drink was accidentally put in front of me that I hadn't ordered or even thought about having and I had a stupid 'fuck it' moment and here I am again. I did get another two weeks AF until drinking again this weekend but I am REALLY struggling to get back to that strong, committed place I was in and it's frustrating the hell out of me. I do NOT want to spend another year doing the whole on-off-on-off dance but right now I just can't seem to raise sufficient motivation.

Sad face...

[patrice]

Tail Between the Legs Thread

Hi all

Hi Lilly, well I had a planned fall but sadly with the same predictable results as your unplanned one!!

I did 31 days, then had a drink ( yes I had planned it, a bottle of wine) .. then 2 more weeks Af, then a weekend where I had 2 bottles of wine over 2 days.. 4 more Af days then 10 Days of drinking daily a bottle of wine!!!!!!!!.

The pattern was frightening.. I marked it all on a calendar, don't need to be a mathematician to work out what that graph looked like.

I'm back AF now but only 2 days so far and YES it's requiring herculian effort and motivation... but we know it gets easier so stick with it !!

Take care
Patrice

[LillyE]

Tail Between the Legs Thread

Thanks Patrice - I just appreciate the words of support right now. I need to rediscover my motivation. I know from past experience how that graph of yours looks - been there, done that too. It's scary how quickly it builds up isn't it? That's what's felled me in the past - going awhile, feeling better, thinking I can have 'a few' then spiraling. I hope that's not where I'm heading now. I need to pull myself up out of this and get back on track. (Pull my head out of my arse might be the more accurate way of putting it.)

Well done on getting back on track - I'm sure it must have been hard after those 10 days. As you said, we know it gets easier, and how quickly it gets worse should really tell us all we need to know about being AF versus 'moderation'.

Keep on going - I'll be plugging for you.

[Sunbeam]

Tail Between the Legs Thread

Lilly, I was where you are in August, after an AF July. My recovery list was the tool I needed to get back in gear. The inspiration list is I think still the most recent post on the tool box thread, under monthly abstinence.

[windy]

Tail Between the Legs Thread

Hi Lilly and Patrice, I am right with you guys. I did a little over six months AL free and now can't seem to get my mojo back. I know I need support, but have a difficult time asking for it. I have been at this for so very long, I am just plain worn out by it all, but I will not give in or give up. I need to change if I want to be truly happy. Maybe we can help each other?? What are your long/short term goals right now? I too do not want to do the on-again off-again dance. I want to be done with it!! Good job on coming back and still fighting the good fight.

Sunbeam, Thanks for the suggestion in the tool box. I will check it out now.

[BlondeAFAmbition]

Tail Between the Legs Thread

Hi Tipp et all,

Wonderful thread...thank you for sharing! Perfect timing for me as I'm back to the early days of quitting...yes, again. Which is why this thread really hits home. Tipp, I remember you from my early days on MWO...you are always such a beam of light. Your honesty and persistance are admired. Best of luck to all of us in reaching our goals and striving to be happier,healthier human "beans".

[windy]

Tail Between the Legs Thread

Hi BlondeAFAmbition, I remember you. I am glad you decided to come back. It's hard...isn't it?

Human Beans:H:H:H

We are bouncing off the walls...

This really is a good thread and I wish Tipps would come back. Just sayin .....

[BlondeAFAmbition]

Tail Between the Legs Thread

LOL Windy...how are you? I remember you to hon! I just didn't recognize your new avatar but I love cows and it's cute!

Well, as long as we're sober beans...LOL.