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    #1

    Dixon has been facing some problems !

    Hi everyone here !

    You all know that I am AF free for more than 4 months and do not have any craving for it.I was gaining my happiness gradually. I was not in contact to anyone whom my problems were connected.

    Today,
    I got a call from a lady who I met one year back after my family break down.She lives in different country.The connection over telephone was for about 8 months. I discontinued contact with her when she got a suicidal threaten ,if I wont marry with her .She was also quite for 2 and half months.
    Today, I received her call and known that she has been hospitalized for her mental illness for a month that's why she was quite .And her Mom is also in hospital due to her problem.
    She again reclaims that all happened to her is simply because of me.She wants to see me either back to her country or here in the Britain.
    I saw her a skinny face and body so she claims she lost 10 kg in 4 months.
    She says now that if I don't get marry with her she will die at my name, leaving a letter to all society.
    Terribly confused what to do and not ?
    If I get marry her I still haven't got any divorce with my wife and kids will be devastating.

    Now I cant carry on my own life too if I get married to her.
    All relationship was built while I was broken up with my wife and under the influence of Alcohol.
    Don't know what to do and not , because of this I cant perform my daily job and got final warning from my employer.As my job is front desk, i cant serve the client well because my mind has always been dwelling and occupied by this event, and of course it is a Al damaged mind !!.
    Help needed please !
    I am living cause I am sober otherwise I would have died already.
    Dix
    A learned habit surely be unlearned !!

    2012: Continuous AF for 7 months from May to Oct.

    Big Relapses : 6th November and 12th December 2012.

    2013 : So many ups and down !!

    2014: Has a conviction to stay with a healthy life.
    Tags: None
    #2
    Dixon has been facing some problems !

    One more things, I do not have any suicidal thought and just wanted to sort out it foever without damaging her prestige and health.
    I haven't had any physical sexual attempt, though we had some romance over telephone in Al mind which I cant imagine to do so now.

    Dix
    A learned habit surely be unlearned !!

    2012: Continuous AF for 7 months from May to Oct.

    Big Relapses : 6th November and 12th December 2012.

    2013 : So many ups and down !!

    2014: Has a conviction to stay with a healthy life.

    Comment

      #3
      Dixon has been facing some problems !

      Oh Dix...so sorry
      I love my family more than alcohol.:h
      Live in the Solution....not the problem

      Comment

        #4
        Dixon has been facing some problems !

        Dix, run the other way as fast as you can. This woman will involve you and her mother in their mental illness. You didn't live together so you have no committment to her, she is manipulating you out of her own self-pity.

        Can you see a counsellor? If you are losing your job because of worry for this woman you are giving her your power - the same power that helped you quit alcohol and you can't give your power to ANYBODY!!

        I'm so sorry this is happening, but you put her on call block and get on with your sober life. I may sound harsh but I hate manipulation.
        Enlightened by MWO

        Comment

          #5
          Dixon has been facing some problems !

          Dixon - I rarely post but..... I hate to see you pulled down by this - you are doing SO well. you are being blackmailed by this woman - what would happen if you called her bluff????

          Sun X
          How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

          Comment

            #6
            Dixon has been facing some problems !

            SKendall;1378208 wrote: Dix, run the other way as fast as you can. This woman will involve you and her mother in their mental illness. You didn't live together so you have no committment to her, she is manipulating you out of her own self-pity.

            Can you see a counsellor? If you are losing your job because of worry for this woman you are giving her your power - the same power that helped you quit alcohol and you can't give your power to ANYBODY!!

            I'm so sorry this is happening, but you put her on call block and get on with your sober life. I may sound harsh but I hate manipulation.
            Thanks Mama you are always with me !
            Skendall,
            So sorry to lament here my hero but everything is happening simultaneously !
            Manipulation,Yes I know but who does convince her apart from me ?.
            I can do block the call but scared what would happen to me if she really does ??
            can we think in this perspective as well my dear ?
            Dix
            A learned habit surely be unlearned !!

            2012: Continuous AF for 7 months from May to Oct.

            Big Relapses : 6th November and 12th December 2012.

            2013 : So many ups and down !!

            2014: Has a conviction to stay with a healthy life.

            Comment

              #7
              Dixon has been facing some problems !

              Oh Dixon,
              I am work and cannot post much. I will be back tonight. I just wanted to say that you are NOT responsible for what this woman does. You are only responsible for yourself and your own sobriety. Nothing that you have done or said to this woman has made her suicidal. There is nothing you can do to change that. She has a mental problem - that is NOT your responsibility.

              Dixon - please take care of yourself. Please worry about yourself. Stop contact with this woman. She is using you and playing tricks. You do not need that.

              Dix - One Step at a Time. :l:l:l
              "Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.".....Carol Burnett
              ..........
              AF - 7-27-15

              Comment

                #8
                Dixon has been facing some problems !

                sunshinedaisies;1378211 wrote: Dixon - I rarely post but..... I hate to see you pulled down by this - you are doing SO well. you are being blackmailed by this woman - what would happen if you called her bluff????

                Sun X
                My pleasure having a friend like you !
                But you know I was very famous back to my birth place , everyone used to give my example as an icon , but gradually AL took away everything but she doesn't know this and just know about my credibility over there before I left that place 5 years back .
                What would happen if my wife/kids knows this ??
                Dix
                A learned habit surely be unlearned !!

                2012: Continuous AF for 7 months from May to Oct.

                Big Relapses : 6th November and 12th December 2012.

                2013 : So many ups and down !!

                2014: Has a conviction to stay with a healthy life.

                Comment

                  #9
                  Dixon has been facing some problems !

                  Dixon, just deny everything she says. Your wife has a boyfriend, doesn't she? She should not judge you too harshly for having a phone romance with another woman. That woman cannot do anything to hurt you, except cause you anxiety because you are worrying about it. Do like someone suggested and block her calls. Forget about her. She won't do anything because she is only trying to manipulate you and make you believe her. You have the power. Stop all contact with her.


                  "I like people too much or not at all."                   Sylvia Plath

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Dixon has been facing some problems !

                    Dixon sounds like you need to stay far from her. One thing I learned in school that you choose to do stuff. Don't let her get you down, she is just blaming you for her actions. She could have chosen to get help.
                    I quit drinking on March 8, 2020. Taking it One Day At A Time and no more taking my quit for granted.

                    Also doing it for me. I got to stay sober for me.

                    Just consecrate on today and do what you can to remain sober for today and worry about staying sober tomorrow, tomorrow.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Dixon has been facing some problems !

                      SKendall;1378208 wrote: Dix, run the other way as fast as you can. This woman will involve you and her mother in their mental illness. You didn't live together so you have no committment to her, she is manipulating you out of her own self-pity.

                      Can you see a counsellor? If you are losing your job because of worry for this woman you are giving her your power - the same power that helped you quit alcohol and you can't give your power to ANYBODY!!

                      I'm so sorry this is happening, but you put her on call block and get on with your sober life. I may sound harsh but I hate manipulation.
                      I agree. She is trying to use you to get involved and you don't need it. Its not your fault at all. She needs to get help.
                      I quit drinking on March 8, 2020. Taking it One Day At A Time and no more taking my quit for granted.

                      Also doing it for me. I got to stay sober for me.

                      Just consecrate on today and do what you can to remain sober for today and worry about staying sober tomorrow, tomorrow.

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Dixon has been facing some problems !

                        DriftyAlison0;1378245 wrote: I agree. She is trying to use you to get involved and you don't need it. Its not your fault at all. She needs to get help.
                        Very well advice given by Skendall !!
                        I also agree Drifty...but some confusion that the laws always do not work and some sentiments are there.If something happen,she will leave me an irreparable scare !
                        How do you think ?
                        Dix
                        A learned habit surely be unlearned !!

                        2012: Continuous AF for 7 months from May to Oct.

                        Big Relapses : 6th November and 12th December 2012.

                        2013 : So many ups and down !!

                        2014: Has a conviction to stay with a healthy life.

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Dixon has been facing some problems !

                          Is she in Britain or your birth place? tell her that Al took everything away from you and you have nothing...... just a thought......
                          How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Dixon has been facing some problems !

                            sunshinedaisies;1378263 wrote: Is she in Britain or your birth place? tell her that Al took everything away from you and you have nothing...... just a thought......
                            Sun,

                            She is in my birth place and not here !. I have told her that way but she says I want to die at your arm for the shake of you ...I want to face anything happens in the future,and you are my life or death ..so on..
                            Actually she had a tragic marriage at her early age of 16 ..and then she never been back to her husbands home and stay almost 20 years with out any thinking of marriage .She is more worried because of her age and she is more worried because she told all of her family members and society ...
                            If this not happen, it would be very hard to live in the society.
                            You know the Asian culture !!, thats why I am too worried and want to settle in win win term.

                            Dix
                            A learned habit surely be unlearned !!

                            2012: Continuous AF for 7 months from May to Oct.

                            Big Relapses : 6th November and 12th December 2012.

                            2013 : So many ups and down !!

                            2014: Has a conviction to stay with a healthy life.

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Dixon has been facing some problems !

                              Dixon, the only way you can win is to ignore her. You will lose if you have contact with her. She needs to win her own battle, you can't do this for her.
                              My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

                              Comment

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