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    #1

    Why I am here

    I've been asked "Why are you here?" by at least one member. I've also been told subtlely and not so much so...seems like you think of AL a lot, since you post so often. How silly is it for someone who claims abstinence to say that a modder should not be here, or should think less of AL. I could say the same...You say you don't drink anymore, yet you post all the time? Obviously you still think of AL a lot too.

    I'll answer the question: I am here to continue on my journey of learning not to abuse AL. Is this site only for abstainers, legitimately?


    "I like people too much or not at all."     Sylvia Plath
    Tags: None
    #2
    Why I am here

    if that's the case, LG, I shouldn't be here at all!
    in my personal situation, I am reaching to different (anonymous) people to help me help myself. i don't come on here because i am thinking about alcohol, or indeed NOT drinking, but rather to read & learn & get some personal help from people who've been there & done that.
    from what i can gather LG, you have contributed much to this site & i would be sad if you felt you were not welcome.
    i've never felt anything but positive support from members. of course, i choose carefully what i contribute in......
    does that make sense?

    Comment

      #3
      Why I am here

      I think it is a legitimate question, depending on the tone and context. It is not wrong to ask another person their goal on this site. There is nothing in your signature line offering that information, many people put their quit date or another statement reflecting their status. I know I have changed my signature line several times as my relationship with alcohol changed. But the resentment between af people will continue I imagine. Many AF people just can't entertain the notion of drinking moderately, and it can make them edgy to hear the discussions. Many moderate drinkers may become edgy if they are not controlling their alcohol intake as well as they would like. All in all, this conflict will always exist on this site.

      I do hope you continue posting here so you can continue your journey of learning, along the path you choose.
      My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

      Comment

        #4
        Why I am here

        Thanks Sunbeam,

        I think you sum it up really well

        Patrice

        Comment

          #5
          Why I am here

          Sunbeam;1384945 wrote: I think it is a legitimate question, depending on the tone and context.

          This is how it was worded:

          The fact that you post here a lot is an indication that alcohol is on your mind a lot. But maybe you want to prove you can moderate, I dont know.

          The comment came out of no where, and the discussion was about something unrelated, and when I read that I thought it was very presumptuous and a tad insulting. We are all here for support no matter what approach we take or what depth our problem with alcohol is. People should feel they can post as often as they want and being told they are trying to "prove" something because of their approach to their drinking is wrong, so I get why this bothered LG, I thought it was just rude and seemed to be thrown in to the discussion for no reason.

          Comment

            #6
            Why I am here

            Like I tell my kids "Enjoy the good, Ignore the Bad." It is for your benefit that you do that. I am sensitive too and felt put down once or twice. It hurts, doesn't it? But for your own sake primarily and for the sake of us who enjoy your posts and find your perspective interesting and helpful, please just ride out the comments and stay. if you leave your moderation may be sidetracked. Continue to use this forum and these people for your strength and resolve to stay on YOUR CHOSEN journey.

            Who knows? This might be the tool you give fond credit to at the end of your long, productive, moderate life.
            Tipplerette

            I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

            "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
            ? Lao-Tzu

            Comment

              #7
              Why I am here

              Thanks so much Tip. It definitely will be given credit as a the catalyst that made me aware of the need to control my AL intake (or abstain). I don't quit readily so I will probably be around for a while.

              I appreciate all of your responses and I am thinking about it. What does it mean to me to be a part of this community? At first it was a tremendous help to quit AL for approximately 80+ days. Now it is a daily reminder of where I was, where I want to be now and my future with AL.

              Sunbeam, it is a free country, I agree. However, I think my posts are clear enough and directly relate to my goals. I would assume anyone who is posting on this site is looking for his or her way to control AL or abstain. I don't think I've been ambiguous about my reasons for being here either. I don't need a signature to "help" others know more about me, but I might try something different for a change. Look for it.


              "I like people too much or not at all."               Sylvia Plath

              Comment

                #8
                Why I am here

                LG, you seem to be assuming the other person knows you, and is familiar with multiple things you have written. You may have even seen other posts by this person, but you can't know what they have read or remember about you.

                The only people I assume know me are those who also post on my "home" thread.
                My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

                Comment

                  #9
                  Why I am here

                  It's not just one person, Sunbeam, and if I must refer to the post that was mentioned in this thread, that person told me that yes, they follow me on these boards and realize that I "think I am a great success at moderating". So, I guess they are "familiar with what I've written". Besides, I am not questioning random people about their "right" to be here and I don't expect to be questioned either.


                  "I like people too much or not at all."                   Sylvia Plath

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Why I am here

                    sunbeam, LG isn't assuming anything though. This person did say in the same post they had been around the boards a lot and that they knew LG was a modder, and that they were familiar with her posts.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Why I am here

                      I am so sorry. I did not wish to offend you.
                      My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Why I am here

                        LG,

                        I have appreciated ALL your signatures, but the present one gives me a giggle every time I read it, and as such, is a TERRIFIC little gift... If you choose a new one, I am sure it will be good too, but I want you to know how much I have enjoyed it.... FF
                        . "It is only with the heart that one can see clearly; that which is essential, is invisible to the eye.". Antoine de Saint-Exupery

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Why I am here

                          LibraryGirl;1384871 wrote: I've been asked "Why are you here?" by at least one member. ....seems like you think of AL a lot, since you post so often.
                          Well, IMO that's just about the silliest question I've ever seen asked here. Makes me wonder if the person is aware they are reading an Alcohol forum not a scrapbooking site... :what?::duhme:
                          It's like saying , "Gee you post a lot on an AL forum. You must have issues with AL..." Well no shit Sherlock.

                          Everyone who has senior level status must be in real trouble then. :H

                          This particular one I would ignore LG.

                          :l
                          On My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
                          *If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
                          https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html tool box
                          https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html newbie nest

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Why I am here

                            Recently there have been many inappropriate questions asked and many accusations made. As you post on the modders forum, I would think there is no need for any explanation. We have people who can't drink, like me and people who can, but with caution like you. Perhaps it is just a lack of understanding of this site. I have read the post in question and I can understand why it would annoy you. Take heart you are a source of inspiration to many and always there in times of need. I also value your book reviews.
                            .

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Why I am here

                              If you read the first time here section of the forum page specifically FAQ it indicates this is a place for those who want to overcome their dependence on alcohol... For some may mean abstaining... For others moderating their intake. Don't feel like you are in the wrong place LG.... by definition of the creators of this site, you are I. The right place for community.

                              Comment

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