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    #16
    Why I am here

    LibraryGirl;1384871 wrote: I've been asked "Why are you here?" by at least one member. I've also been told subtlely and not so much so...seems like you think of AL a lot, since you post so often. How silly is it for someone who claims abstinence to say that a modder should not be here, or should think less of AL. I could say the same...You say you don't drink anymore, yet you post all the time? Obviously you still think of AL a lot too.

    I'll answer the question: I am here to continue on my journey of learning not to abuse AL. Is this site only for abstainers, legitimately?
    Awesome :l:l:l
    Outside of a dog a book is mans best friend. Inside of a dog its too dark to read

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      #17
      Why I am here

      I am going to do a rare post. I stopped posting because I still drink and was basically called out on it. I was told that I shouldn't reply to others because i still drink. The whole thing - and yes, it was ages ago, but it left a bad taste in my mouth which I can't get over - so I don't post any more. I do however, reply to folk by PM if I feel I my answer is warranted. I also still post on the topa thread and the thread killer thread. but nothing that can be construed by anyone as being inappropriate.

      I admire you posting LG and wish I had your courage. I do feel that the site has changed - your answer was good in that you are here to learn not to abuse AL. thank you for being here for all of us.

      Love and hugs, Sun XX
      How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

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        #18
        Why I am here

        Thanks everyone. It's so nice to know that people do respect each other here and value other's opinions. I'm not leaving.

        I still can't wrap my head around how I'm supposed to understand and accept that I would be challenged, deservedly so, for posting on this forum since I am "capable of moderating." How can that be acceptable when at the same time, a stronger argument could be made by saying, "if you are capable of quitting drinking, why are you still here?" Neither question is legitimate. Not one bit. All who are here have problems with AL. I've only learned moderating techniques in the past few months, and am still learning and struggling, as are so many others. I will not be run off because I don't fit into a neat little box that defines me so easily.


        "I like people too much or not at all."         Sylvia Plath

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          #19
          Why I am here

          Hey LG - I have not been posting much - reading alot though. I always love your posts and I think part of me is jealous that I simply cannot moderate. I wish I could, but I am just not wired that way. Maybe some of the haters are jealous as well. One never knows. As some of the people before me said, seems the vibe has changed a bit here on the site and it's not as enjoyable as it once was. The awesome people are still awesome, but the negativity from many other people just sucks the life out of me. Trying to stay sober is hard enough - don't like the angst of reading negative posts....JMO
          February 27th, 2013. A New , Successful Start. :h

          When everything seems like an uphill struggle, just think of the view from the top!!

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            #20
            Why I am here

            Thanks Wagoneer. I'm no superwoman. I find that I don't struggle like I did in the beginning to control urges to drink on a daily basis anymore. That was/is my first goal. I still struggle to drink moderately when I DO drink, and often don't (drink moderately). That is something I am working on and hope I can overcome it as well. I haven't taken total abstinence off the table either, but I'm doing it my way, as the title of this forum suggests.


            "I like people too much or not at all."             Sylvia Plath

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              #21
              Why I am here

              I'm glad you're here LG
              You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life? Rumi

              :lilangel:

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                #22
                Why I am here

                I am here because my drinking was out-of-control. I am here to share, support, and learn from others. I am here to continue to grow in my sobriety and become a better person.
                Outside of a dog a book is mans best friend. Inside of a dog its too dark to read

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                  #23
                  Why I am here

                  LG,

                  This quetsion has come up many times since I've been around.

                  The answer is definitley yes, you belong here, so does everyone else who wants to belong
                  Whether to abstain or moderate is a personal decision of course. Learning is something we all need to do & I think that's best accomplished when we feel comfortable.

                  Keeping the abstinence threads in the abstinence section & the moderation threads in the moderation section is probably the best way to go. That way no one will feel uncomfortable, pressured or offended - right? Just makes sense to me
                  AF since 03/26/09
                  NF since 05/19/09
                  Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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                    #24
                    Why I am here

                    Lavande;1385235 wrote: LG,

                    This quetsion has come up many times since I've been around.

                    Keeping the abstinence threads in the abstinence section & the moderation threads in the moderation section is probably the best way to go. That way no one will feel uncomfortable, pressured or offended - right? Just makes sense to me
                    I suppose the problem comes on the just starting out threads since a lot of people have no certainty when starting out what they really want or can achieve.

                    Personally I am absolutely resolved to AF for life and have no problem with people who moderate, and certainly none with LG with whom I can anticipate many a lively exchange, though not necessarily about alcohol

                    KY

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                      #25
                      Why I am here

                      Hear, Hear!!

                      Sunbeam;1384945 wrote: I think it is a legitimate question, depending on the tone and context. It is not wrong to ask another person their goal on this site. But the resentment between af people will continue I imagine. Many AF people just can't entertain the notion of drinking moderately, and it can make them edgy to hear the discussions. Many moderate drinkers may become edgy if they are not controlling their alcohol intake as well as they would like. All in all, this conflict will always exist on this site.

                      I do hope you continue posting here so you can continue your journey of learning, along the path you choose.

                      Succinctly put. Everyone is welcome LG.

                      I for one cannot entertain the thought of moderation. That's just me: an ex-twobottler a day man. 5 siezures (Abstinence) later, and enough booze to flood all the compartments on the Titanic, my body is telling me I was killing myself.

                      Like Frank sang: Do it your way.

                      Be well yu'all

                      Comment

                        #26
                        Why I am here

                        Lavande;1385235 wrote: LG,

                        This quetsion has come up many times since I've been around.

                        The answer is definitley yes, you belong here, so does everyone else who wants to belong
                        Whether to abstain or moderate is a personal decision of course. Learning is something we all need to do & I think that's best accomplished when we feel comfortable.

                        Keeping the abstinence threads in the abstinence section & the moderation threads in the moderation section is probably the best way to go. That way no one will feel uncomfortable, pressured or offended - right? Just makes sense to me
                        Agreed. I strive not to post about my AL habits outside of appropriate threads, although I do enjoy contributing in other threads from time to time about other things. I don't feel I should be delegated to a certain corner of this forum because of my personal goals, IF I don't discuss them outside of where they are appropriate...or if I am questioned, I will answer. I *think* I've adhered to this already.


                        "I like people too much or not at all."                         Sylvia Plath

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                          #27
                          Why I am here

                          Bashley;1385254 wrote: Succinctly put. Everyone is welcome LG.

                          I for one cannot entertain the thought of moderation. That's just me: an ex-twobottler a day man. 5 siezures (Abstinence) later, and enough booze to flood all the compartments on the Titanic, my body is telling me I was killing myself.

                          Like Frank sang: Do it your way.

                          Be well yu'all
                          Nice to meet you Bashley.


                          "I like people too much or not at all."                           Sylvia Plath

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                            #28
                            Why I am here

                            I'm glad you're here LG, I really dont' care why!

                            People might wonder why I stick around or post so much. I try to help newbies and oldbies alike, but it also helps ME...I need to be reminded daily of where I came from, and where I will never go again.
                            :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

                            Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

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                              #29
                              Why I am here

                              Me too. Everyone's opinion counts.
                              Tipplerette

                              I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

                              "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
                              ? Lao-Tzu

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                                #30
                                Why I am here

                                Maybe we can turn this thread into "your" own personal feelings about why you are here (Everyone!)...


                                "I like people too much or not at all."                                 Sylvia Plath

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