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    90 Days. An update.

    Hi all,

    I read here everyday, I don't always post but I always read.

    On March the 5th 2010 I was released from my in patient rehab, the hardest 4 weeks I have ever done.

    Since that time I have tried my very best to stay away from al. My company was shot and a previous multi million dollar business was on the brink of collapse at my release. My wife has done every thing she can to rebuild but growing businesses is not her skill set.

    So I gathered up what money I had left and in fit of blind optimism, I withdrew our contract from our Parent company and rebranded our sales division as an independent company. During this time I have had to create a completely new brand and then market it to the general public in what is already an over crowded market place.

    In the midst of all of this I have fallen several times but never for more than two or three days and I have picked my self back up and struggled on.

    Today I make 90 unbroken days for the first time this year. My new company is profitable - just, and I have great hopes for the future. This path is never easy and I continue to challenge myself and push for a better tomorrow.

    So today, I am no longer wealthy and I have lost all of my previous ego. I am no longer bullet proof and I am very careful day to day. I take antibuse every single day and may well do until the day I die. I look at the prospect of a day one again and I feel like being sick, I just don't think I can ever do that again. The shakes, the nausea and the guilt. when I read of others on their day ones my stomach churns and I almost cry, so keen is the empathy for those mornings of the day after. Thank you to everyone for just being here and being supportative, you make a difference to many, many people every single day.

    Dave.
    I refuse to be labelled or ashamed. Through my struggles I am achieving self awareness and clarity.

    #2
    90 Days. An update.

    Dave :l

    SO glad to hear from you. Through all your struggles you have stayed strong, and for that you should be proud. I, like you, may take Antabuse until the day I die...we'll see...if that's what I need, then so be it. We use whatever tools work for us.

    My heart goes out to all the new ones also. I remember all too clearly the devestation of the "day after". By keeping it fresh in my mind, I will never romanticize alcohol again.

    Thank you for the update. Before you know it, we'll be reading your 180 day update!

    xoxoxo
    K9
    :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

    Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

    Comment


      #3
      90 Days. An update.

      good job Dave...so happy for you
      and good luck with your new venture
      I love my family more than alcohol.:h
      Live in the Solution....not the problem

      Comment


        #4
        90 Days. An update.

        Dave:

        That was so wonderful to read. You are truly a gifted man. Thank you for sharing your experience with us.

        :l
        On My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
        *If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
        https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html tool box
        https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html newbie nest

        Comment


          #5
          90 Days. An update.

          :goodjob: Well done on 90 days and for you new bussiness success may it continue to grow. Weath isn't everything health is more impoertent. Money is no good without the means to enjoy it. Good luck on your journey.

          Comment


            #6
            90 Days. An update.

            Firefox;1390550 wrote: :goodjob: Well done on 90 days and for you new bussiness success may it continue to grow. Weath isn't everything health is more impoertent. Money is no good without the means to enjoy it. Good luck on your journey.
            One of the biggest lessons of my life! Money is not as important as living a good life. I don't mourn the loss of the money, I am thankful I survived to see the other side!
            I refuse to be labelled or ashamed. Through my struggles I am achieving self awareness and clarity.

            Comment


              #7
              90 Days. An update.

              Great stuff Dave.

              Congratulations on 90 days AF, and all the very best on your new adventures.

              G.

              'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

              Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

              Comment


                #8
                90 Days. An update.

                Great message Dave... congrats on 90. To all, I am new to this. What is it about Antabuse that is so effective? It is zero alcohol right? Or can you have just one?

                DIN

                Comment


                  #9
                  90 Days. An update.

                  Congrats on surviving this terrible battle with addiction, and for making 90 days. That is such a huge landmark. I too have learned the hard way that money isn't everything. Loved reading your post about imagining another Day 1 and thinking you just don't have it in you. I have thought about that many times. I'm not sure I would live through a relapse so I try to do everything I know to do on a daily basis to avoid that.

                  Life will keep getting better so long as we stay sober. You are not alone.

                  DG
                  Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                  Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


                  One day at a time.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    90 Days. An update.

                    Doggygirl;1391225 wrote: Congrats on surviving this terrible battle with addiction, and for making 90 days. That is such a huge landmark. I too have learned the hard way that money isn't everything. Loved reading your post about imagining another Day 1 and thinking you just don't have it in you. I have thought about that many times. I'm not sure I would live through a relapse so I try to do everything I know to do on a daily basis to avoid that.

                    Life will keep getting better so long as we stay sober. You are not alone.

                    DG
                    That's kind of what I mean. I can never say it outloud to anyone but I just don't think i can face day one ever again. To be honest, so much attention has been focused on me over the last few years that I am completely sick of my self.

                    I fucked up and I damn near dragged my wife and kids down with me. I was at a local football club function tonight as one of the sponsors and I had to present a couple of trophies. Anyway the boys started to get a bit full of booze and everyone was dancing and all the rest as people do at parties and events and I stopped at looked around t this room full over over 100 drunk people and I realized that I no longer fit in anywhere now. I'm kind of like an observer to events and because my confidence took a belting I'm less likely to jump in and initiate the conversations I once would have.

                    Drinking looked like fun again and then I remembered day one and I swear I almost threw up there and then. I couldn't have had a drink anyway because I take daily AB but the first drink is only three days away.

                    But I will never do day one again, I just can't and won't.
                    I refuse to be labelled or ashamed. Through my struggles I am achieving self awareness and clarity.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      90 Days. An update.

                      Hi Dave, a big congratulations on your 90 days! Becoming sober really does put things in a more
                      enlightened perspective. Thank you for sharing your journey.
                      AF since 6JUN2012

                      Comment


                        #12
                        90 Days. An update.

                        Yes thanks Dave. Every story, thought and encouraging word helps. Best to you and congratulations on 90 says AF ans sober!

                        ~nurdl
                        :notes:
                        we are human beings with alcohol problems not alcoholics with problems caused by drinking

                        Comment


                          #13
                          90 Days. An update.

                          Dave_;1391250 wrote: That's kind of what I mean. I can never say it outloud to anyone but I just don't think i can face day one ever again. To be honest, so much attention has been focused on me over the last few years that I am completely sick of my self.

                          I fucked up and I damn near dragged my wife and kids down with me. I was at a local football club function tonight as one of the sponsors and I had to present a couple of trophies. Anyway the boys started to get a bit full of booze and everyone was dancing and all the rest as people do at parties and events and I stopped at looked around t this room full over over 100 drunk people and I realized that I no longer fit in anywhere now. I'm kind of like an observer to events and because my confidence took a belting I'm less likely to jump in and initiate the conversations I once would have.

                          Drinking looked like fun again and then I remembered day one and I swear I almost threw up there and then. I couldn't have had a drink anyway because I take daily AB but the first drink is only three days away.

                          But I will never do day one again, I just can't and won't.
                          The corporate life I left had me at a LOT of those boozy functions. My current professional life has me at occassional boozy functions, but at least it's a manageable number. I know that feeling of just not fitting in with 100 drunk people LOL! After reading your post about it, I thought to myself that if I ever have to return to that sort of thing on a regular basis, I will take AB before expose myself to the possibility of another Day 1. Good for you doing what you gotta do. I think this professional situation presents itself to a lot of us, and I"m sure you talking about it is giving others an idea of the alternatives to getting sloshed, yet again, at another "professional" function.

                          Wow where is all this musing coming from??

                          Anyway.... just a funny side note. My husband and I have our own business and we are members of the local Chamber of Commerce and also another business membership group - both of them have monthly "social networking" functions. When the functions are held at a bar, the turnout is amazing. When the functions are held somewhere else (a fun example was a roller skating rink!) turnout is abysmal. I wonder if this is a reflection of people in general feeling very insecure about socializing with others without that ounce of courage? I'm glad I no longer make an a$$ out of myself at those events!

                          DG
                          Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                          Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


                          One day at a time.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            90 Days. An update.

                            I got BOTH of my DUI's leaving Corporate events. My old company used to have free all-you-can drink beer/wine fests EVERY Friday. They'd bring in catering from In-N-Out burger, or BBQ places. SOOO many people started getting DUI's that they finally started providing free Taxi vouchers (round trip, so you could come back the next day to get your car). When I think back to HOW many Fridays I got plastered at work, I'm amazed I kept my job. Then again, when everyone is drunk, nobody really stands out. I'm very glad to be away from that atmosphere, although I hear they don't do that anymore...due to the economy. Even pharmaceutical companies took a hit I guess!
                            :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

                            Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

                            Comment

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